Gather Gnome Admitted to Medical Spa In Mexico...

    Bruce read the the words as if auditioning for the greatest role in his life. "Paz, amor y alegria para todos qui entren aqui." His muscular torso puffed with pride, "It means, may everyone who enters here have peace, love and joy."
    My eyes swept over the terracotta tiled floor unconvinced.
    His blue eyes clouded over,"hey dude, sorry to tell you but I have a big audition and won't be able to pick you up.You're on your own."
    My breath caught in my throat. I'd gotten used to having a limo driver and despite Bruce's shallowness, I liked him. He smiled one last fake Hollywood smile and waved good-bye.
    Dr. Martinez asked,"what brings you here?", his warm brown eyes moist with concern. He stroked his black luxuriant moustache. Pangs of jealousy skittered in my belly. I hated my straggly gray facial hair.
    "I understand you do extreme makeovers for Hollywood stars, witness ptotection gangsters and anyone wanting a new life." I sat up as straight as I could but I must have sounded small and desperate.
     "We do all that and more. May I ask you a personal question?" His elegant surgeon's hands clasped a pen on his paper strewn desk. "What are you running away from?"
    I blurted out, "I'm a fugitive from a cat named Merlin who wants to kill me." The doctor scribbled something on a piece of paper.
    I squirmed in the leather chair. We both knew I wasn't telling the whole truth.
      The bright light over the examining table shone on my face. I felt like a spy being interrogated in a movie.
    "What would you like changed?" An exhalation of relief hissed from my tightly coiled body. This was easier than the take-out menu at Taco bell. I rattled off my makeover wishlist.
    "I'd like to get rid of all the gray, my skin looks way older than my 225 years, I hate my beady eyes,I've always wanted blue eyes, I don't like my stubby legs or my all around shabby appearance."
    The doctor sounded impressive in his starched white coat.
"The gray is a quick fix. You have a lot of sun damage." He peered at my face with a magnifying glass."Don't you use sunscreen? You can have blue contact lenses, we can't do anything about your height but we can make some major improvements."
    I bounced up ready to hug him. "When do we start?"
    "Not so fast. There is paperwork to be filled out. This is a serious commitment. Are you prepared for the risks?"

To be continued...

Comments: 13

Layla Morgan Wilde Sep 25, 2006, 2:53pm EDT

Ingemar still gets chicks?

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Christina R. Sep 25, 2006, 2:59pm EDT

I love the gnomes of gather.

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William M. Sep 25, 2006, 3:22pm EDT

Next issue, please. Soon.

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♯ ♪ Sep 25, 2006, 3:24pm EDT

I don't know, juniper, did you check out that latest pic? The Gnome definitely needs new threads. That hat is mess! He's starting to look like one of those homeless dudes--all he needs is a shopping cart. I think he could stand to be stretched too. I can't see getting rid of the grey though, aren't all gnomes grey? Maybe some collagen would help...

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Layla Morgan Wilde Sep 25, 2006, 3:30pm EDT

I agree, Joanne. Our dear gnome has tasted the good life and wants a piece of it. It's true all gnomes are grayish but hey people it's 2006. We have the technology ;-)

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