Smoked Salmon

Not a Recipe for Smoked Beaver

I'm a conservative. Not in the current political sense, but where conservatism really counts. For example, the only reason "astronaut" is part of my vocabulary is because I was growing up (hence, impressionable) when the word was invented. Had I been born a few years earlier I'd refer to those engaged in space travel as "space travelers" and eschew that particular leak in the dyke holding back the neologistic swamp.

I'm equally conservative in the kitchen, and perhaps more so when it comes to that most manly of culinary pursuits, grilling and barbequeing. When I was a lad, we didn't have gas grills -- the dinosaurs hadn't been dead long enough. In fact, we had to carve our smokers out of tree trunks. These, of course, seldom lasted longer than a single session of barbequeing -- but they did add a bit of extra smokiness to the meat. We didn't even have axes back then and had to rely on trained beavers to cut our wood. I'm here to tell you, beavers are not the most trainable of animals -- and those tails can hurt. On the other hand, smoked beaver tail is pretty good eating.

So when my mother gave me one of those new-fangled stove-top smokers  I thanked her and promptly hid it in the back of a closet. There it remained until I moved into an apartment that didn't allow charcoal grills. As far as I'm concerned, using a gas grill is like taking a shower with a condom on so I did without grilling and smoking. But when I got desperate enough I tried the stove-top thingy. It worked! Well, in it's own fashion.

It isn't a smoker in the sense of being a device for slow cooking meat for hours using smoke and indirect heat. Nor is it a grill that sears meat creating intense Maillard reactions. What it does do is add a distinct and genuine smoky flavor to foods cooked in it without filling your house with smoke (although you do want a good exhaust fan).

I've used it for salmon, Cornish hens (cut in half), pork tenderloins, turkey breasts, and oysters. The only thing that didn't come out well were the oysters. And even though I can again use charcoal for grilling and smoking I suspect I'll continue to find it handy for days like yesterday when it was cold outside and I had a taste for something that reminded me of those good old days when men were men and mastodons were big, hairy elephants.

Smoked Salmon
 Serves 2.

2 ea salmon filets (about 6 oz each)
1 ea lime -- juiced
smoked paprika, hot
1 ea garlic clove -- smashed

Place filets on a sheet of plastic wrap, rub with garlic, drizzle with lime juice, and sprinkle generously with paprika. Wrap snugly in the plastic and marinate, skin-side up, for at least an hour but no more than two.

Prepare smoker according to directions and smoke for 15 minutes, turn off heat, and wait 5 minutes before opening.

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