Then came menstruation. It wasn't fun. It was inconvenient and sometimes very painful. There were times I used it for an excuse; pretending to be indisposed during swimming class. We girls loved swimming in high school; we just did not like to swim with the boys. I managed to finagle my way out of two of the four swimming classes a month that way. I did not feel guilty. The boys played rough, swam rough, and even touched you in inappropriate places claiming it was an accident.
Later, menstruation served a very important function and I looked forward to it. After I had my son, several times I thought that I might be pregnant again, dispite taking birth control. It was a very trying period in my life. I did not want a second child given the situation going on in my marriage at the time. Finally after several visits to the doctor, it was determined that I had an unusual cycle after the birth of my son. My cycle was a 50-day-cycle. It took many years before it reverted back to my original 28-day cycle.
The cessation of menstruation for at least a 12 month period is known as menopause. Fast forward twenty years and I am wishing the monthly flow would finally end. Pre-menopause is considered to occur seven to ten years prior to this event. Peri-menopause is the stage that I now fall into at this moment in time.
Everyone recognizes the symptoms of hot flashes, night swears and missed periods associated with this phase of female development. But there are about 35 different symptoms most woman are not even aware of, including depression, loss of sleep, and hair loss. I am doing research now into the symptoms and the medications proscribed to alleviate them.
Am I candidate for hormone replacement therapy? Some research indicates that estrogen replacement can cause cancer. Should I take a progesterone supplement etc? Can I avoid medication altogether?
I cannot wait until even this part of my biological processes end as well, but not before some personal reflection.
Though I looked at menstruation as a necessary nuisance, it was a part of womanhood, a part of our identities as childbearing females. Now that the end is near, I am wondering how do I really feel? I will still be happy for it to be over and I know now it will come soon enough, but at the same time, the greatest part of my life is over. I will no longer be a woman of childbearing years.
Some woman cannot get past that fact and determine their lives to be useless from that point onward. I chose to look towards to my later years as being the best years of my life. My child is grown up and although he will always be my child, I am free to live my life the way I see fit, rather than having to factor his needs into the equation. I can work, taking shifts that would not have been possible when he was a child, or I can travel, or just plain come and go as I please.
Some women may find menopause to be restricting, I look ahead and find it liberating.
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Comments: 35
because.of.endometriosis.it.was.hideous...Without.estrogen,I.got.hideously
depressed,so.if.you're.feeling.the.symptoms.of.menopause.I.take.an
excellent.hormone.called.cenestin....
For me this passage was difficult at first. In my early 40's I began to slide in perimenopause and became symptomatic, but not in the usual ways they describe. I didn't have hot flashes at all, for example - just warm waves, as I called them. What did I get? Panic attacks. Oh JOY! I got panic attacks while driving on New York City's roads, twice a day, every day for two weeks and then afterwards for two years. They occurred even while I was on Paxil, the worst antidepressant drug on this planet. Not only did I gain 50 lbs on a small frame, but I was a shadow of myself: dulled, flat, sweaty and forgetful. I was not me, so I went off the drug under medical advice and healed myself. I had NO idea that this was part and parcel of perimenopause, and I was pissed off!
Add to this the joys of developing fibromyalgia, a wonderful muscle/pain/sleep disorder and osteoarthritis in my knees and I was a mess. I felt positively ancient and couldn't move. But, again, as is the case with how I view my self and my life, I press onwards and upwards. Fool that I am or maybe I am just stubborn and willful, I go to work even when I am in pain. I will not give in. I can't and won't. I guess it is my survival instinct kicking in!
With that in mind, and because I have endometriosis (for which I have had, as you know 6 laparoscopies and been on countless numbers of menopause inducing drugs) I REFUSE to take hormone replacements. I once took the birth control pill one day and wound up with a 4 day migraine, so I nixed that then. Because strokes are in my family AND because I have the endo I don't want to take any estrogen. Fertility drugs made my endo much worse years ago, so I have determined that estrogen or progesterone will screw up my system even more. My doctor agrees. I may wind up being crazy and drive my husband nuts, but I won't put more drugs into my system.
Ironically, as much as I regret not being able to have children and as difficult as my foray into fertility treatments and drugs were, I am relieved that this time has come. For me, my periods are no longer a romp through three weeks of intense pain, with only one - the actual week of my period - being free of it. Now, I have little pain if any at all, although I have been getting more functional ovarian cysts than before. It's bearable now. A part of me will miss my period in a way. It has been a part of me since I was 12. I know, too, that menopause will put a final stamp of closure on something I have dealt with for years: my inability to have children. But, sad as that is for me, I have lived that reality for 20 years, so for me, menopause will bring me physical peace, finally. After struggling with gynecological issues that started when I was 13, I anxiously await relief...even if I will sweat and will be a cranky puss from time to time!
Sorry this got so long!
BTW, have you noticed no men are contributing to this thread??!! LOL!! I wonder why?
I have so much excess facial hair, I look like a man. It is awful. I am still getting the mood swings and the bloating, tiredness, pains, soreness, the whole gamut. I can't wait until it is all over for good.
I like Kathryn's comments best!
you can always email me for support as well.