"Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done."
- Vincent Van Gogh
I am convinced that a majority of people in our modern society have no comprehension of the kind of love that the artist refers to.
They have not experienced that kind of love from others, especially as children, so they have no based on which to give it to others as adults.
To them, love is what I used to understand, as a teenager, was "like." Or the best possible business arrangment that is available at the time.
I understand how heretical that may seem to many people. But those people may be among the ones who don't understand what real love is.
You can't fall out of love. That's one characteristic.
If your kind of love is something you could change your mind about, then it's not what those who have experienced real love call real love.
It would be like getting to heaven, then changing your mind because you'd have to play the same 18 hole golf course every day. Or choosing to leave because you don't like the decor.
It can't happen that way. Real love is not something we can do anything about. It fits, wear it.
Real love is not sexual or romantic in the sense that we might see on television or in a movie. Sex is hormonal. Romance appeals to the same part of the brain that addictions so, the part that emits dopamine, the feel-good natural high.
Real love has not yet been tracked in the brain because medical science has not yet developed equipment that sophisticated.
Real love can be for God, for a mate, for a friend, for a skid row "loser," for a death row inmate, for a criminal, for a partner of the same sex. For yourself, for sure. For real love to flourish, we must love ourselves first. Truly and honestly.
Those who have real love can't explain it to others who don't. Those who don't have real love can't find descriptive words because they don't know what they would be describing. That's why a dictionary has so many ways to explain love.
But a dictionary doesn't explain real love. There aren't words available that everyone would understand.
With real love, we would walk into hell without fear to save the one we love. Why without fear? Because we feel it so strongly that it transcends our mortal existence.
Many will say "Where is the proof?" They don't understand. They ask the same question of those who believe whole-heartedly in God.
You can't buy real love. You can't sweet talk you way into it. Perfume or fancy dress won't do it.
Real love starts within you and grows. Until it overcomes you.
Or it's stillborn. Though some manage to nurture love to live as adults. If they learn how. The seed of love doesn't die until we do.
I have no secret to convey to you about how to nurture the love within you. Just one suggestion.
Ask yourself what God would want you to do with your life. Not your parents, your friends, your clergyman/woman or a TV commercial.
God.
If you can't deal with that question, then you won't be able to nurture the real love within you.
If that question is too much for you to cope with, then happy motoring. Happy like. Find yourself a good deal.
Bill Allin
'Turning It Around: Causes and Cures for Today's Epidemic Social Problems,' striving to guide everyone to understand the unexplainable.
Learn more at http://billallin.com
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Comments: 21
but.have.found.true.love.twice.in.my.life.so.I'm.a.believer..Clearly,
it.doesn't.have.to.be.requited.as.one.of.my.love's.is.Mozart.for.whom
I'll.post.a.Haiku.for.soon...The.other.is.my.best.friend.Medley.whom.I
write.about.often....she..took.her.own.life.at.37...I.don't.idealize.her,
we.just.had.an.inexplicable.soul.connection.as.I.write.about.in.the.poem
Medley...."I.can't.place.you.on.a.map
of.oceans,hearts,or.skies.
I.can't.put.you.into.words,
but.I.can.keep.your.name.alive".
Amanda, you have a remarkable ability to keep yourself upright during some very rough times. You also know, I think, that your real love will not die.
Thanks Masha. Provoking thought is my objective. I have no other agenda.
However, a doctor friend in Pakistan claims that I have been known to argue completely opposing points of view one day after the other and he has found himself agreeing with me on both days. I would like to have you think, as you finish reading one of my articles, What if he's wrong? What are the alternatives?
If you really want to do something positive, send people to my web site and my book. That way we can get something positive groing around the world. The answers and solutions are all there, to questions that most people believe are impossible problems of modern society.
They aren't. We just have to look for solutions in the right place. That's why I put them into a book, one that may be read by high school dropouts and university professors alike. (This is not a profit making venture because I spend more on promoting my ideas than I get in income from the book.)
I do so agree that we never fall into or out of love. Once we make that connection, it is for always. It doesn't matter, child, friend, lover, husband, neighbor, co-worker.
Romantic relationships do end, but not love.
I wonder if there is a way for your to pose the question minus the idea of god ?
This question from the religious free zone.
Cena, I did not say that God has anything to do with love. As I said in reply to Jacob (above), if you can't wrap your mind around the question about God, you will not be able to find real love. Whether or not a person believes in God is irrrelevant.
If I asked you the question "How would you occupy your free time if you lived on Mars?" which seems like a reasonable stretch for the imagination, would you suggest that I pose the question without reference to Mars? It's a matter of the mind being about to cope with a higher level of cognitive/emotional thought (a combination, I believe) that is the criterion.
The question has nothing to do with education or level of prosperity. It has to do with the flexibility of the mind and its ability to accept concepts that are not familiar.
Can you imagine yourself playing in a sandbox for the first time, as an adult? People who have played in sand as children could adapt easily, but people who have never played in sand might have more difficulty. Some would create artistic marvels while others would sit there crying to go home, upset that they were getting their hands and clothes dirty.
"Ha ha," Shelly? Was it the spare time on Mars? I realize now that asking people anything in which God plays a role could lead to misinperpretation. Or, perhaps, an accusation that I had alienated someone.
Organized religion is the worst thing that has ever happened to God.
"Johhny needs new jeans. I don't know how he rips them so often."
"Why can't that man put his socks and underwear in the clothes hamper like everyone else?"
"God? Oh, I don't have time for this."
"Love? It's what I have, what I say it is. Have you got money for the parking meter?"
Hearts can "break" in the sense that the loss of a loved one, for example, can result in heart problems. However that relates to chemical imbalances that happen when the brain gets confused.
An article I couldn't agree with more...I just hope you will write more on this subject.
"Ask yourself what God would want you to do with your life." Interesting thought, very interesting question.
However, that statement ("Ask yourself...") was part of an argument in the article. I did not necessarily say that everyone should be able to answer the question, only that people should be able to cope with asking themselves the question. If the question rattles you, then you will likely not be capable of real love of the kind that van Gogh spoke.
I will write more on the subject as the muse whispers into my ear.