by Jina S.
Member since:
August 4, 2006

Who Determines When You Die?

September 16, 2006 06:51 AM EDT
views: 30 | rating: 9.8/10 (4 votes) | comments: 17
I know nature has it's own protocol. We are to trust that everything happens in it's own time. Why is it so taboo to talk about death, and suicide? Why is it unacceptable to choose your own time to die? Suicide isn't just a matter of someone being unhappy or depressed. And it isn't just an escape from pain or terminal illness. Why can't a healthy, normal, mature adult choose to move on? We all make informed decisions everyday. Why shouldn't we be able to decide when we want to die? Why can't I talk about this to family and friends without being judged as a nutcase? I have completed my work here, I'm ready to move on. What's the big deal? My therapist said suicide is permanent solution for a temporary problem. The problem is everyone else's perception. The problem is lack of acceptance from others, that I feel like I've completed my mission.The problem is that we don't have the right to "put ourselves to sleep".I can take my sick cat to the vet, they give her a shot, and she peacefully passes on. People don't get that option, so we have to resort to more crude methods.Those methods are not easy on the loved ones left behind. It is unfair for them to have to clean up after.Why can't I just clean out my desk and leave gracefully?
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Comments: 17

donna f. Sep 16, 2006, 8:05am EDT
Jena, How do you know your mission has been fulfilled? Tomorrow may bring a new, fabulous mission that you would miss out on. I see that baby in your arms, and think of the moments that child would miss if you were not present. Remember, it isn't just your life. Our lives belong to not only ourselves, but to those we know and love. I personally believe we should be permitted to "call it quits" when there is literally no hope, as in a terminal illness, but to "check out" when hope remains is a cop out. I wish you luck, but more importantly, I wish you JOY.
donna f. Sep 16, 2006, 8:15am EDT
Jena, I feel I had to comment again to explain my view. I have been in a situation which looked hopeless, and I once stood on a bridge peering at the water, thinking how wonderful it would be to just let all the pain float away in that rushing current. I was in an abusive marriage, my teenage son was getting into all sorts of trouble, and I had virtually no self esteem. . I did not jump, obviously. Now, seven years later, my hubby died, my kids are doing ok, not great, but not in any real trouble, I met the love and light of my life, and life couldn't be better. Yes, I am still broke, I detest my job, and I wish I could help my kids more, but life is infinitely better than it was back then. I think of what I would have missed, especially now that my daughter is making me a granny, and shudder.
Jerry D. Sep 16, 2006, 9:28am EDT
Jina, hope is around the corner. I understand to a degree with what you are saying. Myself, well, there have been times in the past where I felt it. Felt the pain of living, felt the pain of not wanting to continue on with my life. The only true joy comes in life is one of living and not giving up even when all looks dim. When faced with the bottom of life we have only to look up to see the brightness that can be ours just for the reaching.
Others in your life may not understand you or appreciate you but you must look deep within and know that someone understands you. We as people don't often see life for what it is, the beauty that surrounds us is just a blink away.
I hope you decide to continue on with your life. Because you know never who may be enriched by just a kind word from you.
Leah Christensen Sep 16, 2006, 11:18am EDT
I think I know what you are saying Jena. I am not taking this literally. I am not reading this as though you are saying "I think I'll die today," because I dont know if that is what you are saying or not. Perhaps this is a general question about life and death, and that is how I choose to take it.

I don't think my time is done, but if I did, and I was of sound mind, I'd want to have that option.

With what I plan to do in my lifetime, I am willing to bet I'll die naturally before I have the chance to want to decide for myself, but I like knowing that that decision can and will be accepted, if it were to ever come to that.
Jina S. Sep 16, 2006, 2:53pm EDT
Thank you Donna, I am so glad you are continuing on. The baby in my arms is my 1st granchild. I thought at one time that he would need me, now I feel like some egomaniac assuming I had something worthwhile to share. My loved ones are all capable of fending for themselves, I'm not sure I have any business intruding on their life paths. I love comitting random acts of kindness to strangers, hoping it will be passed on and others can spread the hope, but I think I'm finished there also.
Jina S. Sep 16, 2006, 2:57pm EDT
Thank you Jerome, The strange thing is there isn't any pain. I just want the choice to say i'm done.
Jina S. Sep 16, 2006, 2:59pm EDT
leah, you've got it! I'm glad you aren't done yet, I so enjoy your content here. I don't think today is the day, but I want the choice.
calujaro ~ Sep 17, 2006, 1:11am EDT
Jina,
I agree with what you say and feel. I also feel it should be one's choice to decide when their time is done. I would hope that it was well reasoned and not for some reason such as a breakup or such, but yes, I agree with you. I certainly am not encouraging this as I think you are still a valuable and capable person and hope that you discover other avenues to continue your journey as long as you are able to in the manner you feel of standard to you. I do understand the depression as well though and I encourage you to possibly check out some treatment, not to suggest that you are not of sound mind, just in case you might be interested in another perspective.
Jina S. Sep 17, 2006, 4:06am EDT
Thank's Carrie, I am of sound mind and body. I have professional help available. I just want to know why this is so unacceptable in a modern society.
Manette S. Sep 17, 2006, 7:14am EDT
I think like you that a person should have the right to make this decision. But I also believe that you never know what life still has in store for you.
Jina S. Sep 17, 2006, 5:28pm EDT
It's true Manette, there is always a mystery .
La Lady Lisa Westerfield Sep 25, 2006, 6:43pm EDT
Jina, consider this, there is so much to love in life, even when we feel unappreciated and such. You are obviously an intelligent capable woman, and I know this piece is a few days old, but as others have noted you never know truly when your jouney here should end.

Although I agree with in theory, I tend to think such an option should be a consideration for someone who does not want to suffer through the pain of a terminal disease or condition. Otherwise, there are so many people in the world who would trade places with any one of us, blessed with reasonable health, in one hot minute it is overwhelming.

A death of someone in their prime only ends up causing tremendous pain to those who love them the most. A friend of mine's father committed suicide years ago and it still bothers her. Most of all, she wonders why he chose death when he could have chosen life with his daughters in it.

Think of the possiblities each of us in a western culture have if we own something as simple as a computer. The world is changing so rapidly, why not do our very best to make that change into something good?
Jina S. Sep 25, 2006, 7:46pm EDT
Lisa, thank you for that perspective. But all that opportunity can also be overwhelming. Sometimes I just get tired. Sometimes my family makes me tired. The demand is often greater than my capabilities. At those times, even trying to plan a vacation is too much.
La Lady Lisa Westerfield Sep 25, 2006, 7:53pm EDT
Jina, I so understand, but when you step back from the situation you do realize that what your therapist said is more than a tired cliche. Tomorrow something wonderful may happen and if you were gone before your time you would miss it. On the other hand something tragic might happen tomorrow and you wouldn't be there to help your family or friends through it. There is so much more to life than the expectations of society. There is so much more to learn than what is put on some sort of IQ test.

I'm not a religious person, but I am very spiritual and I believe there is a reason why all of us are here on the planet right now. We have an opportunity to make life better, if only we do not blind ourselves with our limitations.
Jina S. Sep 25, 2006, 7:56pm EDT
Ok Lisa... I'll try harder!! lol You just made my life better Thank you.
La Lady Lisa Westerfield Sep 25, 2006, 10:17pm EDT
Oh Jina, you just made my throat catch a little. :)
hiral h Oct 28, 2006, 7:27am EDT
We all are here on this beautiful earth for a purpose and we may not be aware of it till our natural death, you may never know what tomorrow may bring to you.

Even awful surprises bring spice in our lives, why miss them than to face them?
I know, i am too young to say you this on your face, but this is what i feel.
Ask those people who know they are gonna die and want to live their life to the fullest, but with very less time with them.

God bless.

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