Ladies Don't Have to Go First

I don't want to sound like an ungrateful person, but sometimes I think people overdo the "lady first" gesture. One example that has been happening many times in our office building lobby is entering the elevator. Everyone is waiting for the elevator. When the elevator comes, the guys who stand closest to the elevator waited until the women behind them enter the elevator first.

I don't like this for a few reasons. One, if I am not very close to the elevator door yet, I will feel obligated to rush inside so I don't hold up everyone. I don't like to rush/run, and I could have walked with a normal speed if the guys would just go in the elevators first. Two, if they are getting off on a higher floor than mine, then I will have to squeeze my way out from the back of the elevator. Three, it just seems inefficient to have them wait for us, and then we wait for them to get in the elevator.

I think "lady first" is a really nice gesture, but I would much rather the guys to move on when it makes more sense for them to go first.

Comments: 10

Sara :-) Sep 15, 2006, 4:18pm EDT

I think it comes down to common sense. Ladies don't have to go first. It might be respectful but when one has to go out of their way, to accomadate that. it's better to just go on with life and let the lady go last.

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Julie L. Sep 15, 2006, 4:43pm EDT

I think it is a gesture that has a time and a place. I do not feel the workplace is an appropriate place for it because everyone is supposed to be treated as equals. but I also teach my sons to hold the door for females. Their dad holds the door for me when he is here. And a lot of the time he opens my car door for me. I don't expect it but I think it's a nice gesture and makes me feel special when he does it. I personally feel that it is acceptable except for the workplace.

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Lori (Dr Devience) Leidig Sep 15, 2006, 4:48pm EDT

I, for one, amd glad to see that chivalry is not dead... just bleeding profusely due to some women taking offense at common courtesy.

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Janet Somewhere Up On The Mount Sep 15, 2006, 5:15pm EDT

I think the guy did a nice thing and If I didn't want to rush just tell him thats ok go ahead. But the other ladies may appreciate him doing that for them. I would.
He is probally wrong either way. lol

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Cassandra M. Sep 15, 2006, 6:08pm EDT

I think it's a sweet gesture. I love it when someone holds the door for me.

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William M. Sep 15, 2006, 7:53pm EDT

It is normally a gesture I make in most instances. A elevator is the wrong place for it though.

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James s F. Sep 15, 2006, 7:55pm EDT

wear looser pants then they won't be so prone to wait to check you out

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Selene N. Sep 15, 2006, 8:22pm EDT

James - I am sure that was not the reason.

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Clair D. Sep 16, 2006, 5:10am EDT

i can understand your feelings, selene, about being rushed when someone is waiting for you to enter. i get is sometimes when i'm approaching a building and someone is holding the door, even though i will be a few minutes. it's a nice gesture, so i'm not prone to get too ruffled. sometimes, though, i think it shouldn't just be 'ladies' who get the chivalrous treatment. i think everyone should consider holding the door or elevator for anyone, regardless of age, gender, social status.

sometimes, i don't rush. if they're really sincere about waiting, then they will wait patiently.

chivalry shouldn't die, it should grow into an equal opportunity situation. in my humble opinion. =)

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Selene N. Sep 18, 2006, 11:33am EDT

Lori L. - I was definitely not "offended". I just didn't think the guys had to do that, and I felt bad because I was holding up everyone else. I know it was a really nice gesture, but I just hope people don't "over-do" it.

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Ladies Don't Have to Go First

Comments: 10

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