So difficult it is to show the various meanings and imperfections of words when we have nothing else but words to do it with.
- John Locke, philosopher (1632-1704)
Locke, an educated man, was concerned about how the meanings and imperfections of words could be conveyed to other educated people. His only tool, he says, is words.
When we convey messages to others, especially in person, we use many other tools, sometimes without even being aware of them. Our audience may not be so well educated as the readers of Locke's works or may not expect to have to use the tools available to them.
Facial expression is one of our non-verbal tools. A&W has a commercial on now that is really a movie in 30 seconds. It's based around the facial expressions of the female actor of the "couple." She deserves an award for her performance. A&W believes that her facial expressions will sell hamburgers.
We learn the various forms of facial expression and how to perform each ourselves when we are children. By adulthood, we do them naturally as we speak.
Body language is another non-verbal tool. Even position of the person delivering a message with respect to the position of the listener is important. If the person is behind a desk or their face is higher than the listener's face, the speaker is in a position of power for delivering a message. In written messages such annoying things as spelling, punctuation and use of grammar can affect how a reader interprets a message.
Written language lacks all of the easy tools of speech. Thus it opens itself to misinterpretation more than spoken messages. It's all too common for a reader to fix on one particular sentence of a written message, taking it out of context, and draw conclusions about the meaning of the whole message that are contradictory to the writer's intentions.
Years ago when I was the supervisor over many entry level employees, I gained a reputation for being the only person my colleagues knew who could dismiss an employee for incompetence and make them feel good about having to look for another job. Yet when I wrote simple notes asking that certain people do particular (and necessary) cleanup jobs, I was too often accused of "yelling" at them when my intention was anything but that.
Written messages have a different impact on people because they are managed in different parts of the brain than spoken messages. More correctly, the path taken by visual input of a written message through the eyes has many more places in which the information must be processed before it is understood, compared to the input of spoken words from a person who is facing the listener. More steps means more possibilities for errors or misinterpretations. Also more possibilities for the reader to become sidetracked on a tangent resulting from associations of certain words.
No matter what our level of education or the number of words at our disposal for speaking or writing, it would serve us well to consider not just how to word what we say to convey our message, but what unintended impact the combination of words we choose might make on our listeners or readers.
A good writer gives great importance to how his or her reader will react. A good speaker knows the reaction he or she expects and uses every verbal and body tool at hand to get that reaction.
The rest of us muddle along and wonder why so many other people are so stupid that they can't understand us.
Bill Allin
'Turning It Around: Causes and Cures for Today's Epidemic Social Problems,' striving to get the words right to convey the intended message.
Learn more at http://billallin.com
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Comments: 22
I understand completely how important we choose our words and present them. I've committed a few of those "faux pas" myself and sometimes am afraid to use certain expressions for fear it will evoke the same negative reaction.
Funny how once it's misinterpreted, even if you try to attempt to clarify your meaning, the person who misunderstood gets so pissed off sometimes they just stop listening all together and start going off on a tangent that has nothing to do with the original misunderstanding. Perhaps I should have quit while I was behind in one particular case. LOL
Which is not your intent at all. In written words, so much more care has to be taken in just asking someone nicely to do a small part of their job that might have been overlooked. The first thing they might think, is: "He/She is picking on me!" And off they go, furious, wanting not to do what was asked and also very, very upset with you.
If you'd asked the same thing in front of the person, using good body language and kindness of voice, there would have been no problem. How hard we make it on ourselves much of the time.
Words hurt and heal... written the most.
Rules and coaching about good writing be damned, a writer must have the interests of the reader he or she wants to read their work in mind or the writing won't hit its mark. Others don't matter.
What's more, the dominant culture of a country tend to think that those of minority cultures, especially immigrants, are somehow intellectually inferior. This is not the same as prejudice, but results from people being taught so aggressively that they are the best and most superior people in the world.
In acting, fully half of a good performance is conveyed by non-verbal language. Since that is not possible with written words, we have to choose how to compensate. Our choices can sometimes be tragic.
Writing something as simple as an e-mail can cause havoc and destruction on the receiving end because there is such lack of expressions and body language to give them meaning and context. There is just no way to convey a feeling of humor or love meant when we e-mail someone the words "I hate you" meaning and intending the opposite.
Good points.
Smileys and LOLs do nothing for me except to make me believe that the writer doesn't know how to express himself in words.
We all must write, but few write well. Therein lies the trap of the written word.
You are preaching to the choir on this one. I absolutely believe that understanding clearly is rare in today's society. I also believe that from government to big business an effort has been made to NOT be clear when addressing an issue, be it politics or the reason to buy a new car.
Not being clear has created a non-clear society around all of us. I say put a dictionary in every hotel room instead of a Bible.
Let me just add that this discussion is an apt reminder to those of us who spend more time in front of the computer than in face-to-face dialogue.
This is also the case with a very good friend of mine who is Russian, and I have learned so much from him as to how he interprets things that I would never have thought could be interpreted in such a way.