NEW YORK, July 22 -- A public school teacher was arrested today at
John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule,
and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said
he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us,"
Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.
"They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
"They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer, Isosceles, used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would
have given us more fingers and toes."


Comments: 19
What is not funny is not being able to bring a bottle of water into the terminal. Then you are forced to purchase water at highly inflated prices. But when you go to board the plane, they take the water away.
I only wish I was that witty.
And for the record, I slept through all math classes and got straight As. My teachers didn't like me much.
Hi Alex ;) Very glad to see you came over to gather.
Humbugger's Club
http://humbuggery.gather.com/
where we serve bottom-brewed Bohemian beer at 13+ and the best fried cheese in Prague. Just sit down in our trestle tables in the cellars and enjoy the casual atmosphere