In honor of Star Trek's 40th Birthday, I want to post a little story of something that happened at my youngest son's school last year:
Hey, Klingons have feelings, too!
I got a call from the elementary school administrative assistant six mornings before the last day of school before summer vacation.
"Mrs. Jaworski?" I could hear her tapping a pencil against the desk.
"Uh yes, and it's Ms., please."
"Your son, 8, has been suspended for the day. Come here and pick him up."
She didn't give me time to answer, to ask questions, her voice disappeared as if someone cut the line. I stood in the kitchen, my bare feet aching from a marathon run the day before, and I took a deep breath. My son can be a nut at times, but he's never done the kinds of things that troubled kids do. He doesn't talk back, he doesn't pick fights, and he's never destroyed property. I couldn't picture him doing anything scholastically evil.
Maybe he stripped and ran around the school naked, I thought. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.
The principal met me in her office. She closed the door tightly behind me and invited me to sit in a stuffed orange vinyl chair.
"Mrs. Jaworski, 8 has been suspended from school for one day."
She wore an arctic blue power jacket over black slacks, and I self-consciously tried to pull my hooded sweatshirt further over my pink pajamas.
"It's Ms., please. And sorry for my attire, but I ran a marathon yesterday and I'm too sore to change this morning."
I tried to infect her with my smile, but she wore a tight-lipped expression as frosty as her jacket.
"So, anyway. What did he do?"
I picked at the hem of my sweatshirt, looked just to the right of her face. I couldn't meet her eyes. I felt nervous. I felt underdressed. I wondered where 8 was.
So she told me what he did. And as she told me, I started to laugh. I didn't laugh a little, either, but I belly-laughed and grabbed my stomach. My son stood with his class that morning under the fine California sun, put small right hand over heart, faced the American flag, and recited his own personal pledge of allegiance:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Federation of Planets, and to the galaxy for which it stands, one universe, under everybody, with liberty and justice for all species.
"Mrs. Jaworski. This isn't humorous. The Pledge is an extremely important and patriotic moment each morning in the classroom. I am ashamed of your son's behavior, and I hope you are, too."
I wanted to say, Hey Lady, it's a big universe. Why should we pledge allegiance to a mixed-up country? Why shouldn't my son embrace the potential of stardust? But I stood, extended my hand, apologized for my laughter, slung my purse over my shoulder, opened her door to find my son, 8, red-eyed sitting on the wooden bench bordering the World Map wall.
My son had to write the "real" pledge of allegiance fifty times before he could return to school. But first... I let him watch Star Trek. Damn straight.
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 30
Wonderfully written, wonderfully done.
As it was, I told him that adults are often wrong, just like kids, and that mean old principal (no pal I'll say) was wrong, wrong, wrong, and silly, besides.
This year I have him in the exploratory learning school. And he gets to wear his Starfleet uniform whenever he likes. Yeah.
Live long and prosper, Birdie. And your little boy, too.
The whole thing was written in celebration of the 400th anniversary of Columbus's discovery of America (1892) and that holiday fell into disfavor not so long ago when they decided Columbus was a nasty slave-trader.
I'm not big on pledges of any sort, but in the current nationalistic craze, with flags flapping everywhere and witch hunts on for suspicious neighbors, I like this one less than usual.
And hooray for 8 (uh, 9?). Birdie, another wonderful tale; too bad there isn't a living to be had in the puncturing of inflated, pompous people -- you and your family would be rich!
but maybe for 8 it was actually a reward in the end
Live long and prosper.
I think I would've had a new Vulcan hand gesture for her.
Sorry for the late comment - I just came across this.
omg. As a lifelong Trekker, I would have busted out laughing too. Obviously, the priciple is not a fan or she'd recognize the United Federation is just an alternate version of the US and there's nothing wrong at all there, just a little extension! I'm just sorry your little guy got in trouble for it, though. What an overreaction. You aren't in Orange County, are you?
Since my spouse in an atheist and I'm agnostic, we've told our kids they don't have to say "under God" if they don't want to.
I may have to link to this, it's too funny.