Not only is this possible, if you could read people's minds, I'd bet you would find this is the norm rather than the exception to the rule. Wouldn't you really rather have all the people that you love (including those that you love and have sex with) in your life, rather than being forced into serial monogamy?
The scenario that seems to occur most often is something like this; you meet someone and fall in love. Let's say it's mutual. Life goes on it's merry way, and let's presume that your relationship continues to development for some period of time, could be days, weeks, months or years. Then one, or the other of you meets someone else. You are attracted and feel yourself "falling in love". Now you still love the person that you are currently with. You have no desire to end the relationship. But, the attraction to the new, the possibility of meeting someone who has another point of view, different experiences, and smells differently than your current partner can't be ignored. You jump in and a second relationship begins to take root.
Initially you try to hide the fact that you love two people. Inevitably you slip-up and are discovered. You confess that you love them both and want to keep them both in your life. Now, what usually happens is that both the other individuals involved can not imagine that they are both loved. They will not tolerate competition. They require exclusivity and the illusion of absolute total control. They will demand that you pick one over the other. They will both be the losers. You will then be forced to make a decision you would really rather not make. You try to convince them that you will give them the freedom to have other lovers too as long as they will still have you. They reject that option. So, you pick one. You feel bad for the the one you lost. You resent the person you picked who now is suspicious and smothers you. Soon you can't take it and leave them. Everyone looses and you move on to the next monogamous relationship.
Is this any way to live?
It always seemed insane to me. I chose another path. I've tried to gather my loves, and keep them all. For some of them it worked. I've been writing about it in my memoir, Six Generations of First Born Women, and the story isn't over.
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Comments: 15
I write random stuff on FLOTSAM AND JETSAM. These were previously published articles that I have adapted to GATHER. Then I also write occasional new stuff, that does not have a strand, just it's title. It's a just a way for me to keep track of all the stuff I write and where it's appeared so I don't repeat myself.
Glad to hear you are trying to make this lifestyle work. I have found it is worth the effort.
I'm with you all the way on the testing, too.
Unfortunately, most of this is easier said than done. Congratulations to those who can!
It was impossible for me to live this way when I was really young with a family. When children are young I think they need stability in a home - unless you lived in a tribe or a fantastic extended family, surrounded by love. Then you have the support and freedom to live a better life. It's the "Nukulear" family (as mr. Bush would say it) that really made life tough on us all.