by Cynthia B.
Member since:
April 12, 2006

longing--a solo renga

August 28, 2006 12:52 AM EDT (Updated: August 28, 2006 01:06 AM EDT)
views: 63 | rating: 9.9/10 (9 votes) | comments: 16
when can I contain
my mind confused by passion
until souls dare dream

your gentle voice cries
until tears cascade sweetly
down my rounded cheek

my soul yearns for peace
as I know that your embrace
will complete my heart

yet there are borders
we cannot dare overcome
save deep in our sleep

I seek out your eyes
so perfect sweetly serene
while passion burns hot

fear sometimes holds tight
as I think of futile pasts
no lives uplifting

the hope of our thoughts
reach out to each other's dreams
and bitter tears sigh

now that is not me
although it was my past fate
without a future

the stars point the way
of fateful sweet completion
when hopes cross and sigh

our eyes meet in tune
beyond the veil of heartache
when twin souls are one

perhaps I'm a fool
who merely seeks completion
with the nearest crush

I've walked this journey
kaleidescopic faces
seeking ghosts of love

I risk rejection
while I meditate on you
and I capture time

break my foolishness
like Sysyphean madness
till sanity blooms

©2006 Cynthia Bage
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Comments: 16

Shaunee C. Aug 28, 2006, 1:02am EDT
well written.
Cynthia B. Aug 28, 2006, 1:07am EDT
Thank you.
Jim Ross Aug 28, 2006, 1:15am EDT
Your solo renga "Longing" is passionate, sensitive, questing, tentative, concerned, and . . . simply beautiful.

I enjoyed this very much.

Have you thought to create a collaborative one in the traditional sense? Might be fun. Eg., a kazen with its chain of 36 verses, 2 stanzas containing flower references and one containing a moon reference, the rest a freewheeling (or planned) chain of linking stanzas established by the host poet.
Carol Roach Aug 28, 2006, 3:03am EDT
that was really beautiful
manoj sanyal Aug 28, 2006, 3:46am EDT
very well written ... liked.
John F Walter Aug 28, 2006, 4:26am EDT
A very delicate lyrical poem that looks back mournfully to the past, but also is filled with swarming expectations to the future, expressed in a cascade of emotions that brings the reader finally into a state of conviction that your forestalling of the relationship until surety sets in is the right thing to do.: Meditation is required. The last three lines are a knockout--"break my foolishness/like Sisyphean madness/till sanity blooms." The allusion to the ancient Greek king of Corinth condemned to roll the rock up and down the hill reinforces this desire to break out of a pattern beautifully, as well as recalls Camus' classic philosophical essay on the human dilemna of isolation and overcoming.
Maura Alia Badji Aug 28, 2006, 4:42am EDT
i agree with John--powerful close
lovely words
John Doyle Aug 28, 2006, 7:07am EDT
Beautifully done using a difficult form
Cat Givens Aug 28, 2006, 9:50am EDT
Well worth your effort, Cynth. This is lovely and so well written it swoons.
Cheryl W. Aug 28, 2006, 9:53am EDT
Lovely
Cynthia B. Aug 28, 2006, 3:00pm EDT
Wow! Your comments are encouraging, especially yours, John F.

Jim, I love the idea of having a traditional renga group. We will need a "master", of course and a group who is willing to add to the renga. I will reaquaint myself with the traditional renga rules and see if I can start a group where those dedicated to preserving traditional renga can, well, gather.
Linda Douglas Aug 28, 2006, 6:36pm EDT
I love it. I identify with all of the feelings. Are you going to post the renga rules to the group. I have no clue what the form is.
Martha Jette, Author/Editor Aug 28, 2006, 7:06pm EDT
This is a completely new form for me, but it sounds wonderful, Cynthia.
Cynthia B. Aug 31, 2006, 4:41pm EDT
Because it's not a traditional Renga, the bridging verses are absent. I've started a Traditional Renga group, and I'm learning as much as I can about the proper forms and rules so I can at least try to act as "master" for the group. There is a lot to learn, and I'm looking forward to this.
Ecstasy M. Oct 8, 2007, 4:16am EDT
...astounding! The eternal question about love being founded or unfounded, momentary or eternal. What a perfect and delicate balance you strike between the argument of whether fear is blocking love, if love is originating from the soul, or if something else, an old pattern or even something more mysterious, perhaps even the politics of God, moves you to feel what you feel. I like best the two stanzas where the stars point the way...beyond the veil of heartache- that place of relief in that other dimension, unlike the dream dimension, this one seems to be a real place, perhaps where the soul resides and all is well. Where the peace yearned for never leaves 'her', where the passion is always true, in short, lovers' utopia (land of love from the kaleidoscopic faces as well?).

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