Ants are Too Much Like Me

I actually like most bugs, even when they creep me out. But if they attempt to take over, I become unkind and ruthless. I usually start with the gentlest measures, and often that is enough. But if it doesn't seem to work, I won't stop turning up the chemical dial until they are GONE. In this case, because I am preparing for a cross-country drive with a small child, I didn't have time for sensitive measures:

Yesterday, a colony of ants discovered the morning's garbage in the car, tidily removed from the apartment and waiting to be taken to the dumpster as the first of five errands. I was particularly unhappy with the populous stream of ants that was traveling along the center hump to get to the abundant harvest in the child seat.

We coped as we drove to the bank, the thrift store and the post office. Then we stopped at the car wash. We drove through the wash part, then determinedly picked a shady vacuum stall and got to work. Those power vacs show no mercy, and I routed every ant I could find, especially around the door seals.

I found a small group amassed like a shiny stroke of black paint and did them in. It is one of the many wonders of ant behavior that they huddle together like that, making me think of massacres and holocausts.

Another wonder is those individuals who stay on their path with their bit of food, even though all around them ant pheromones must be shrieking.

There were a few left, but those were probably sunk as there was no queen, and no way for them to reproduce. Satisfied, I headed for the grocery store, and then to Target.

When we got back to the car with the last of our things, I found what appeared to be a complete, and possibly redoubled, resurrection of every single ant I had vacuumed up an hour before. Amazed and disgusted, I headed home.

Once home, I went around to the passenger side of the car, and gently tipped one of the grocery bags. Beneath a spot of collected moisture condensation was a solid, sparkling carpet of ants. And not just ants. They had eggs.