Dancing in the Moonlight

(I had written the first three lines of this poem as a Haiku, and then another Gather member asked if I would try making it into a longer poem. So here it is........)

Sweet strains of Dixie,

we slow dance in the moonlight;

Shadows on the ground

as we sway to and fro;

Nothing else matters

in this moment in time,

for I am yours

and you are mine;

Beads of sweat

travel in rivelets

between my breasts

and your eyes follow

to the purely sublime;

You pull me closer,

I can feel your heart pound

as we gently sway

to this moment in time;

You whisper my name;

sweet shivers caress me;

Something about this night

seeks to possess me;

Magnolia blossoms

perfume the air

as your hands caress me

with tender care;

We may be surrounded,

but it is just us two

here in the moonlight

as I dance with you.

Comments: 26

Linda Douglas Aug 26, 2006, 5:07pm EDT

Absolutely lovely.

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sea gull l. Aug 26, 2006, 5:19pm EDT

incredibly sensual!
you have the rhythm!
what a great moment in time captured by your talented hands

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Fletcher Hawkins Aug 26, 2006, 8:59pm EDT

Ah, yes, sublime, Cheryl!

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jessie voigts Aug 26, 2006, 10:14pm EDT

omg cheryl - it is too lovely. i love the expansion of the perfect haiku and you did a wonderful job! actually, i think it owuld be a great song. :)

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Julius K. Aug 27, 2006, 12:16am EDT

This is really great. I can feel the intensity and passion in the words.

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John F Walter Aug 27, 2006, 7:10am EDT

Now, this is a great song, Cheryl. When you rewrite and rework your poetry and songs, you always get fresh ideas and the finished form appears often longer than your original conception. I really love the last eight lines, beginning with, "Magnolia blossoms/perfume the air."
I want to hear you read this. I'm going to send you some software so you can make voicemails so I can hear you read or sing your lovely words.

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Cheryl W. Aug 27, 2006, 8:29am EDT

Thanks, everyone for the comments.

John...that would be so cool. And in reading this poem again, it would definitely work as a song. Thank you for your kind comments..

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Zenith E. Aug 27, 2006, 11:55am EDT

Cheryl, this is so very beautiful! Excellent poetry.

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J. Johannes Aug 28, 2006, 8:09am EDT

Gorgeous visuals ... it's like music...

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HGM Moya Goatley Oct 11, 2006, 4:19pm EDT

Lovely pictures and memories conjured up. Well done. It would make a lovely song. Moya

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Debbie G. Oct 13, 2006, 12:36am EDT

Beautiful!

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Cheryl W. Oct 19, 2006, 2:00pm EDT

Thanks, everyone...for the kind comments

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Diane W. Oct 21, 2006, 11:50am EDT

Beautiful; the sensual dance of love.

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Fred Hose Mar 19, 2007, 2:43am EDT

Cheryl
I've just discovered this poem of yours.
It's absoutely rivetting. It's sensual, romantic and joyful. The pictures that you paint are alive and real. Well done

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Alkistis Wechsler Apr 28, 2007, 8:02am EDT

I love this song story. I could see it in my groups: 'express it with dance' and 'clouds wherever' Please do join and place this poem ...

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Jean E. Apr 28, 2007, 8:40am EDT

very nice Cheryl - I can hear sweet Patsy Cline singing this one.

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Mary Beth Magee May 11, 2007, 3:00pm EDT

Elegant and beautiful. This poem is draped in old lace and backlit with starlight. Thank you for sharing.

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Elsie Duggan May 15, 2007, 2:02am EDT

Beautiful sensual poem, describes the feeling of love so aptly.

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Trish A. Jun 11, 2007, 1:52am EDT

Cheryl, this is a lovely poem. You brought us into the dance. So intimate. I have one thought. I'm not sure you really need the second stanza. Some of it is cliche but mostly your poem shows it as it progresses. I think the strength in this poem is that you immerse us in the moment, we feel it. You don't need to tell us what you do in the second stanza, we find out.

This is a sensual, tender poem of a magical moment.

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Sheri Fresonke H. Jul 7, 2007, 1:20am EDT

I love Magnolia's in a poem and can see the sweet togetherness as you dance. Nice.

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Tom C. Aug 8, 2007, 9:44pm EDT

Cheryl - this is really good! The sensations of the warm evening, the quiet music, the gentle rhythm of the dance are all so alive. I especially like the image of passion's focus making all this romantic "surround" disappear. Truly excellent!

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