Dr. Socrates P. Aristotle
Dear Dr. Aristotle,
After 30 years of recruiting high tech scientists for corporate positions, I have sold my company and retiring. This has all been made possible by the role your university has played in this occupation. I want to thank you for your help.
Let me explain. When I first became a headhunter I believed that all I had to do is to look at the graduating classes get names and resumes and shop them to needy companies. I quickly discovered that I was in error.
Not that companies don't hire recent graduates, they do. They reluctantly, involve themselves on campus because they fear that their competitors might find the gem among the rubbish being graduated. They endure the cost of training out of this fear. Despite the fact that they can't expect a new graduate to be productive for three or four years, they trundle up to your campus and interview your students just to keep ahead of their peers.
A fellow headhunter told me that the real opportunity is to recruit the graduate three years after they graduate. Find them when their training is over and are ready to cash in on the free education that their first employer has given them. He said that employers are eager to pay massive fees to hire the employee that has been vetted by their competition.
Dr. Aristotle the fact that you ably train graduates to do nothing practicle, to not be thinkers and grind the creativity out of them has made my life wonderful. I have been able to earn high six figures, have two homes and retire at 50. Without your university none of this would have been possible.
On another note, I flunked out of Stellar, am I still on academic probation? I would like to finish my degree.