Spice Up Your Marriage

Maintaining the health and strength of a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, can be difficult, but there are things that can be done to enhance marriage, make it more loving and even downright fun! Regardless of whether finances are tight, kids are still young or things seem bleak, these two suggestions can make a difference.

Suggestion #1:

I'm sure you've heard this over and over again, but incorporating date night into your relationship makes a world of difference. My husband and I (we'll be married four years next month) recently started going on a date every week. At first, for me, it seemed a little tedious. I'm often extremely exhausted and we have three children ages 1, 2 and 15.

I must admit, however, that I've come to look forward to our weekly outings for several reasons: 1) We do something different each time. 2) We get away from the stress of our everyday lives. 3) We get to have fun together and learn more about each other every time. 4) My husband really courts me on those dates.

There are certain rules we follow: We don't talk about the children and we don't talk about business, work and finances. (If one of us slips up and mentions the children that person gets a point, the person with the most points at the end of the night loses. Sometimes the loser has to do something the other one says to do and other times it's just the knowledge of knowing you loss that makes it fun. Don't tell my husband I told you, but he lost last night!) We also try to make it a "cheap" date. For instance, one week we just had coffee at Starbucks then went to the dollar theater.

If you have young children and aren't as fortunate as we are to have a live-in babysitter then trade date nights with a couple you know or make a deal with a teenage relative, or friend, to spend the night at your house. Now that our teenager has gone back to school we put the babies to bed before we go out.

Suggestion #2:

Get creative with the romance. I hope you aren't thinking sex! Let me tell you about what my husband recently did for me: He gave me a little silver basket with a bunch of rolled up red scrolls (construction paper) that were secured with white ribbon and each had two little silver rings. Each scroll had something written on it. One told me how much he loved me and how he would marry me all over again… and others say "free gift" or offer a "free service" like a manicure or something. I haven't opened all of them yet so I'm looking forward to my other surprises.

Doing something like this is a wonderful way to add a little surprise and love into your spouse's day. I am always so excited to open a scroll and find out what it says. Of course, I love the gifts (I've gotten two gorgeous necklaces), but it's the other things like "Let's just talk about you!" that are just as special and magnificent.

Think of something that is special to your spouse and add a little creativity to it. Earlier this week (Tuesday) I had to run into Wal-Mart, which is in the same complex as my husband's job, to pick up a few things and decided to get him some lunch and snacks. I purchased a simple gift bag, a microwaveable meal, juice, muffins and grapes. I put the goodies in the bag with a card. My husband goes to meetings after work every Tuesday, which is a long day for him. So in the card I wrote that I hoped my small gesture would make his long day easier and brighter. FYI: He really loved it!

By point is not to brag, but I did something that I knew he would like and appreciate. One of the biggest things this – the dating and creative romance – has done for me is allow me to focus on a lot more positive things. My husband and I have been through some very rough and stressful times, which have caused us not to react to each other in the best of ways. Now that we have these more positive things going on it allows me to focus on them instead of on the negative things I may not like or something I think he's done to me.

It's also helped me to get over anger or annoyance quicker than I normally would. Well, not always, but usually! HA!

I believe it has made a world of difference in my marriage, and I hope and pray that you'll try these things – or something similar – whether you need to or not… I know it can make a world of difference for you as well.