"I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism."
- Charles M Schwab, American industrialist (1862-1939)
Those who argue against this claim that people are naturally lazy, thus they must always be prodded and pushed to do their best.
There is, of course, absolutely no evidence that people are naturally lazy.
If laziness were natural, it would have to be demonstrated in children. Children who are brought up in healthy environments (intellectually, physically, socially and emotionally healthy) have an abundance of energy and want to use it at every possible opportunity.
Lazy people are adolescents or adults. Only sickly children seem lazy, and that is never by choice. Adults developed that characteristic during childhood. This can happen through constant reinforcement that the child is a nuisance, never does anything worthwhile, is stupid, is negligent of responsibilities, has no identifable good qualities and has nothing good to look forward to in his or her future.
An adolescent may also seem lazy if he or she has a learning problem, so can't adapt to the teaching style of school, can't read much of what must be read for homework, can't understand instructions regarding responsibilities at home, can't remember them and receives little or no positive reinforcement of his or her value as a person. These are circumstances over which the child has no control.
In fairness, a person should not be held responsibile for circumstances over which they have no control. And yet we do just that in our society. We blame people for being poor, for example, in the twisted belief that they have been somehow responsible for the misery of their own life circumstances. We say we don't blame them for being poor, but our public policies regarding poor people say otherwise.
We also blame people for what they don't know. The basic premise of our legal system is that ignorance of the law is no defence against violation of the law. As we do not teach basic laws to all children, giving them notice of what they are expected to abide by, this premise is patently unreasonable.
By the same token, we blame parents for the faults and troubles their childrent find themselves in. No matter how hard parents may try to do their best to raise their children well, if they don't know the responsibilities of parenthood and the basic needs and developmental progress of children, something will go wrong with those kids. What goes wrong may not show up until they are adults, or may not even show up until their own children grow up.
There is no known benefit to keeping people ignorant, unless the purpose is to enslave them. Yet only a small percentage of young adults know what they need to know to be good parents when they have their first child.
If an industry does not practise quality control in the manufacture of its products, that industry fails. Yet many children grow up in an atmosphere of parental ignorance.
This is a fundamental failure of society. But one that may so easily and cheaply be fixed.
Prisons are filled with people who are socially underdeveloped or maldeveloped. Mental institutions are filled with people who are emotionally underdeveloped or maldeveloped, and doctors treat with medications many patients whose primary problem is that they can't cope with the circumstances of their lives.
Our educations sytems teach people how to get jobs. They don't teach people how to live lives. They don't even teach people how to hold onto the jobs they get (this is simply expected of a new employee).
People are not born with attitudes, they devleop them based on the circumstances in which they live. Attitudes, like many other life skills, must be taught or they will develop by accident of circumstance.
All of this requires only small changes to our education systems. We have the knowledge and the skills already, we only need to teach them to everyone. If psychologists can fix broken people, the same knowledge and skill can be taught to young people before they break.
It only takes enough people to understand and speak up.
Bill Allin
'Turning It Around: Causes and Cures for Today's Epidemic Social Problems,' striving to give every person what they need to live a confident and competent life.
Learn more at http://billallin.com
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Comments: 34
But when some of us do, others write articles about what terrible people we are. Just can't seem to win them all.
"People are not born with attitudes, they devleop them based on the circumstances in which they live. Attitudes, like many other life skills, must be taught or they will develop by accident of circumstance."
This applies not only to laziness or low self esteem but racism and prejudice as you well know. The innocence of a child is so precious. It is too bad that the world slowing erodes away that innocence.
For sure, William!
Sandy, without opposition nothing worthwhile can or will succeed. That's human nature. We pay little attention to stuff we agree with and rise up with furor at stuff we disagree with. (That may be because there is so much going on that we disagree with, but that's another issue.)
I almost didn't write my book because everyone I spoke with agreed with it. I know that most people who agree with something will do nothing about it. One brother-in-law thought my plan would never work. He was my saving grace, the opposition on which I clawed my way through to the next phase.
The trouble with my plan is that almost everyone agrees with it. But no one wants to do anything about it. I need President Bush to call me a communist or a Nazi or a terrorist, something to show that there are people who don't want things to change because they are making more money than they know what to do with as things are now.
Trust me, Sandy, we need opposition. We don't need to take the opposition seriously when they crap on us in Gather comments. They get the good guys fired up, which is what is needed.
Like it or not, our children (the children of our world, be we parents or not) are our future. The quality of life we can look forward to is the quality of life we teach our children to expect and produce.
We are all in some sense "disabled" or "differently abled" from the perspective that we each have differing abilities. We also each have differing learning styles -- something the general trend of public one-size-fits-all education makes all too clear. Thus children who are in the process of discovering their own gifts and passions are all too often led to believe they are "disabled" rather than uniquely abled. Lives are being potentially ruined everyday in grade school classrooms. Then the prejudices, ways of interpreting hierarchies of "ableness" follow into the cultural norm. People develop anxieties about their own abilities, perceive a need to hide who they are and their unique gifts, because those gifts do not express in the socially prescribed range of normality.
I have a lot of problems with the US school system and have long thought that a better way to educate our kids and ourselves would be more on the 60's "free school" model -- community storefront schools where people teach what they know and learn what they want to learn. A lot of so-called laziness is simply nonengagement in boring lessons without much immediate relevance to the student. A lot more is probably general fatigue from lack of exercise. Kids should be out burning off all that energy doing and playing and hands-on learning. And we all know that the best way to learn is to teach. Furthermore, community in general would be greatly strengthened by having this kind of helpful, enjoyable, sharing interaction and a place for such gathering. Any group that considers itself a community could put this kind of thing together, even in a small way. We could just develop workshops/learning groups (however the individual group wants to conceive it) in our homes with our cohorts and teach and learn what we are interested in. We could use the home schooling exception to compulsory education to teach our kids the way we know is best for them. Even if we send our kids to public schools, we can provide these kinds of experiences for them during their off-school time. And even if we have no such community project available, we certainly have the opportunity to teach our kids the truth and how to find it for themselves as a normal part of our daily relationships with them. [/rant]
Peace,
libramoon
Einstein said, and I agree, that we are all born geniusus, it's after that we beat the genius out of kids. (He didn't use those exact words.)
I wish that everyone would take your advice in the final paragraph. But we have the means to change the direction of the school system. The book is called 'Turning It Around'. I know the author personally. In fact, my wife is married to him.
The book lays out a plan, with attention to all the points of detail needed to implement it. Just reword the legislation and vote it into being.
Check my web site for more (a lot more!) info:
http://billallin.com
And some free stuff too.
But our whole lives are built around some circumstances over which we have no control.
"he basic premise of our legal system is that ignorance of the law is no defence against violation of the law. As we do not teach basic laws to all children, giving them notice of what they are expected to abide by, this premise is patently unreasonable."
The solution is fewer laws that are consistent and enforced.
"People are not born with attitudes"
If qualified I might accept this, however there are enough examples of people who have had the 'silver sppon' who turned out 'rotten' by any standard to refute this as an absolute claim.
"Our educations sytems teach people how to get jobs."
This is just one in a number of iterations of the failure of government education. They are trying to fulfil a role not intended for them and in a way that pleases everyone. That is not a formula for success.
I overcame poverty, abusive upbringing, autism, low-self esteem, an exceptionally difficult & horrible marriage and continue to fight on to care for my five daughters. No one paved a way for me with signs or rules to live by, I looked for them, I wanted to be... like everyone else and so I ... emulated.. I adapted, I learned what was acceptable and what was not.
If anyone fails us.. it is ourselves. Not the governent, not the schools or the teachers, it is for us to seek the truths, accept or deny them but atleast take responsibility for our own actions or inactions.
I do however, enjoy your article...
Debbie J.
The Only Limitations ~ are the ones you place upon yourself.. (DJ)
Some don't because they are so broken, but never mind, you probably will go through life calling any who don't succeed "lazy and unmotivated." It won't help anyone.
You are going to insist you pulled yourself up, yet you probably were helped and encouraged along the way by many, many people.
Bill I think this your most important and useful article so far. I would not mind if it ran once per week.
I keep thinking we need the visiting nurse program to check on every child in this nation right up to age 12. The idea that parents ought to be allowed to do as they wish with their child certainly has filled up our prisons, our substance abuse programs and the streets with homeless.
Thank you for posting this.
People like you (and me, by the way) survived and thrived despite overwhelming odds. My sister, who suffered only a small portion of the deprivations and disabilities I had didn't make it, wasted a life and has two very fearful kids (now adults) as evidence.
I want to give all children a chance without forcing them to endure and survive what you and I did.
You are right, leaving everyone to their own devices has failed, badly.
There is an old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." Who raises a child these days? I submit that most parents have very little idea about what they are doing and what their mission as parents is. And they have no one to tell them.
That's what "Turning It Around" (my icon) was written to correct. Parents and teachers need help and guidance. Now this book is available.
It is designed to CREATE conformity, and the 'takes a village' stuff is but another module.
Any time there is a threat to the system from inside or out the 'educators' resolutely point every finger at the parents.
This really looks like two good articles shoehorned together that don't quite mesh.
That "first thing (you) learned" needs to be not just information learned in a college, but it needs to be put into action in every community, in every home. It needs to be taught to every person, before they have children.
New parents need guidance and knowledge about the ways that children develop. "Turning It Around" does that. And the book provides a methodology by which this kind of teaching can be implemented into every community. It's a whole package, written with input from people of six continents and supported by people of six continents.
TIA is a worldwide project, but it needs to reach every home. The only way that can happen is for young children to learn and be guided properly. The only way that can happen is for young adults to be taught before they have children.
And they need community support. All of this is part of the TIA package. It's easy to implement, cheap and do-able. See my web site to learn more. http://billallin.com
An example of what I mean involves a school full of inner city children. The school had a "college attendance" rate that was insanely low, a high drop out rate, etc. So a millionaire (sorry, I don't know his name) came along and said that he would pay for the college educations of any student in the school who made B's and got accepted to college. Within a year, the rate soared to something like 80%. They didn't see college as possible for them, but once it was possible, they were off like a shot.
I don't support what you say about "the 'takes a village' stuff" or about the teachers. Teachers do an incredible job considering how hampered they are at every turn. What they can't teach or address is far more important than what they can and do teach. Yet they can do nothing about this on their own. The only direction they can turn is to parents, who often do mor eharm than good because they don't understand what they are doing.
The now-cancelled TV show Boston Public showed how schools cope with kids who don't know what is possible for them.
In your second paragraph, it would take more than travel to get people out of their ruts. Ruts are places of safety, not examples of laziness, in my opinion. People retreat to their ruts for fear that the rest of the world is going to "get them." They are afraid because they are ignorant of the rest of the world (as you stated) and they have been led to be afraid.
The kind of change you want can only come by raising children in a healthy environment. It's impossible to change adults to any extent. At least rutted adults. (This from a sociologist who studies this stuff.)
"..constant reinforcement that the child is a nuisance, never does anything worthwhile, is stupid, is negligent of responsibilities, has no identifable good qualities and has nothing good to look forward to in his or her future."
This is the crippling legacy that my step-father gave me.
The root of it is that I don't adhere to his social mix. The fact that my aspirations do not focus on rising to social prominence is considered proof that I am in fact "lazy and good for nothing."
Opulence and arrogance are the bars he sets, and they have always seemed empty and hollow to me. I would rather help a struggling other than work doggedly for self-gain.
The worst aspect is that his attitude has been maintained despite years of evidence to the contrary.
Even though I was on the Dean's list for two years, even though I have physically saved the life of others, even though I've lived on my own for decades, and even though I recently made huge sacrifices for his sake, after more than thirty years I am still treated like "the errant stepchild."
Simplistic living with a focus on creativeness, humanitarianism, learning and compassion are not worthy enough.
Which means I'm not either.
Bill's Spirit, please understand these two things: you have succeeded and you are not alone. For someone who has gone through what you have, these are two treasures.
Rather than accept the burden of both commitment and sacrifice, the general public would rather blame "those people" for all the problems.
In short, they would rather ignore the problem than fix it.
People don't understand, they don't know, clearly what their problems are and they have no idea what to do about them. I wrote "Turning It Around" with the assistance of many people around the world, to address this very problem.
When everyone knows what the problems are and how they can be easily and cheaply solved, with very little upset to anyone's applecart or belief set, if they still do nothing about their problems then that would prove you are right.
I believe the problem is that they don't know what to do and have been led to believe that there are no answers, at least no easy answers. They are mistaken and I plan to make everyone aware that the solutions are in the one place they have not yet looked.
I hope ( and pray ) you are right. You have all my endorsement in your efforts.
Please see my web site to learn what I mean.
http://billallin.com
Actually, I do not think that these people are lazy or unmotivated, I think they... might either not know what it is they want out of life, or just do not know how to reach for it...
And yes, I rose on my own, because I wanted so desperately to be as 'everyone else' was... My own lack of self-confidence held me back... kept me doubting ... kept me in a place where I just did not try..
But seeing others get ahead, and yes, others calling to me to 'join them' or inspiration I got from unknowing mentors, or even smiles of pride I saw in the face of those whose lives touched mine.. spurred me on.
I feel that many are lost... feeling as if they are alone in it all... and they just do not wish to travel forward out of fear ... fear they will lose the little they have, fear they will not be able to do what it is they desire to do.. fear others will not accept them for who they are.
But it is an inward battle... and not one we can win for them I am afraid, however... sometimes a simple smile, a nod of encouragement, or a 'hey - how are you doing' goes a long way...
I know I am going to make mistakes, fall out of that tree as I try to climb up... And yesterday I fell 10 maybe 20 times... was so moved to frustration I felt like giving up (school)... But, my daughter took my hand, told me to rest... and resume... tomorrow.. Tomorrow, I am going to fall as much as I may, but I am going to get up on that limb, even if I get totally bruised up.
My luck - I'll be hanging upside down.
Debbie J.
I would say that people should look at you, should examine your life. Not as an object of scorn or criticism, but as a role model, a survivor, someone who was given so little, but has made so much of it.
You know that you will fall out of that tree again. You know that sometimes you will find yourself hanging upside down. You also know, now, that you will right yourself, that things will get better and that you will continue the climb.
Already you have learned so much more than most people learn in their entire lifetimes. To not share what you have learned would be a shame. But to share it would subject you to criticism from those who would have preferred you to have been extinguished when you were in that non-responsive state.
I feel honoured that you have touched my life.
The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behaviour which makes the original false conception come true. [1]
In other words, a statement of dispraise may stigmatizes humans (through fear or logical confusion). It propels a notion to take actions that will ultimately result in fulfillment of the prophecy.
Children are impressionable and they learn what they are taught. Debbie J. doesn't realize that we are not independent of our circumstances. We do however, need to allow knowledge to suppress animalistic urges of instinct. Yes, we can overcome obstacles, however we must institute the necessary pedagogy to uplift the oppressed, uneducated and the socially and economically limited.
To George Corneliussen, it is time we start with the man in the mirror.
It is the trees that make the forest.
1. Robert K. Merton, Social Theory and Social Structure, Free Press, 1968, p. 477, ISBN 0-02-921130-1.
I do not think it is that I do not... 'understand'.. I think it might simply be, that because I am autistic, once a non-responsive autistic, that I simply have a different perspective.
However, the only obstacle I see in my path, is myself... I will allow no one, no thing to stand between myself, my goals or my dreams.
True, the paths I take might take me longer, but I ... I will get there most certainly. This I know to be true... because I will not give up.... or give in...
Deb..
As you said, we must be vigilant about what is taught so that it conforms to what we want our children to know and to be. However, we aren't doing that now, to any significant degree. Kids are influenced by TV, movies, commercials, video games, their religious institution (where a tiny percentage learn about "enemies" everywhere and that they should blow them up, with God's blessing), even in stores and on the streets.
We know what we want children to learn and to live, but we are not teaching it consistently to every child. Heck, that's not rocket science.
Deb, you know you can and will reach your goals because you have reached and passed many already.
What you know, I believe, and what many do not, is "There is always a way."
There is always a way. You have found some, I have found others. We must teach what we have learned so that the general population can know more.
It's an uphill struggle. But all of life is. Almost everything that is worthwhile in life requires a struggle to reach.
The real concern is proper harnessing and proper direction of this gushing stream of human resource. Somewhere during the course of this fresh stream into adulthood, it loses its steam and vitality. Perhaps it is the lack of positive reinforcement, and lack of inculcation and sustenance of interest by not making education a joy of self discovery and learning an enjoyable activity.
The cost of investment in early education is much less than the remedying the social maldevelopment of these youngsters at a later stage due to faulty or deficient education.
It is an excellent article, Bill, and rightly an Editors' Pick.
My objective and the objectives of my supporters on six continents is to change that misappropriation of attention and resources.
It's time that the world grew up.