Why is it that our best words
Lie unexpressed, die unexposed?
Why do our finest emotions, always put off
like friendly debts, wither away stunted?
Articulation like an automatic rifle
Makes my daily arsenal supple, lets me escape
the sour cop's surly eye, the cynical banker's frozen smile,
even the lady I almost ran down on the street, grins
at my profuse apologies.
My lips sprout a superficial forest,
but my heart guards golden nuggets.
It embarrasses me to use small currency of
merciful acts, facial expressions and a suppliant
body language –the writer inside me, fumes and frets
while I hoard my soulful words
like a miser lording over his treasures.
(c) Max Babi, 082306.
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Comments: 25
excellent writing in this line--the sharpness of the sound is exactly as the image.
but then sadly, you dropped the conceit and mixed the metaphor with other stuff and so lost focus... and this was really very strong line that could have developed and carried the entire stanza
one of the greatest masters of conceit is an early american writer, edward taylor, a new england preacher.
elizebethan poets went both extremes, good and bad. john donne is great
hats a beauitful poetry, perhaps i need to read it again , but somewhere i think it can be better , in terms of the imagery of the words , i mean i love the soul of it but the body does not seeem to be merged with the soul and become one. It beauitful though.. I think this one deserves a reworking... Am sorry , i am afraid it doesnt sound like Chota Mouh Badi baat... But the first two lines are beautiful..
Thank you for not hoarding your soulful words and sharing them instead. Well expressed.
Thank you for your extravagance, Max.
Need to look up on both those conceit poets, Donne I have read actually and liked his metaphysical ramblings.
Shall search for these soon. May re-write the whole poem to keep the tension alive till the end....
thanks and cheerz!
but my heart guards golden nuggets."
I kept thinking about that for a long time....
Thanks Max for this.
cheerz!
i must say i really agree to your thoughts....
well i m on gather as well..
so keep in touch....
richa
i too feel that there are lots of people who didnt share the beautiful things in them and left this world,.. (?)
i really like the way you write but sometime i have to read atleast 5 times to understand,,
It's very rare to find perceptive readers of your calibre, so please don't feel defensive about speaking out of turn, as I translate your Hindi phrase 'chhota munh aur badi baat' for readers can turn a doggerel churner into a poet laureate if they wish to. Perhaps what unexpressed emotions lie beneath a wrong description, can only be discovered by us both jointly. Right?
Cheerz!
Truly a very perceptive remark.
Indeed a poem is a piece of the poet's own personality, as much as heartfelt rendition of lyrics by a talented singer. I wonder if the kids would be able to digest such a heavy remark, which must come as something too abstract for their sketchy knowledge of the world? You must be an incredible teacher to get it across to them.
Thanks for reflecting on the poem, you do resonate well.
Cheerz!
Talkative people may be considered foolish, but the sincerity of talkative people ushers in a pleasant, light breeze in this overly careworn world.
Cheerz!