I shared my childhood experience, knowing she would ignore me the same as I had shunned those who tried to warn me. Glasses and braces are uncomfortable and not things to wish for, yet both intrigued my daughter the same as they had me. This is apparently a lesson many of us want to learn first hand.
As a child, my plastic hairbands rested on the bridge of my nose more than they saw the top of my head, often complemented by foil gum wrappers across my teeth. She wore an old pair of sunglasses sans lenses and a paperclip. I let her go, crossed my fingers, and hoped she would outgrow the phase before she choked.
I was neither surprised nor worried when the note came from school announcing she had failed her first eye exam. Prepared to beat the manipulator at her own game, I broke the sad news. I could afford a trip to the eye doctor, or the new game she wanted, not both. I hated having to make that choice. She saved me the anguish. Her eyes were so bad she needed the doctor that day and didn't mind giving up the game. She made the decision without regret.
Another child would have shown less enthusiasm preparing for a trip to an amusement park. She bounced out of bed, dressed without a fuss, rushed me, and chattered nonstop as we drove to the doctor's office and waited her turn. When the exciting moment finally arrived, a clinician asked her to cover one eye and look at the chart of letters on the wall. Although my daughter had been reading the newspaper and road signs since before kindergarten, she couldn't read a single letter on the chart that day.
I shook my head and smiled to ease the clinician's frightened expression. She switched the lettered chart for the pre-school version of giant letter E's headed in different directions. "Let's try this one," she said. "When I point to an E, you show me which way the lines are going by pointing your fingers in the same direction."
"I don't see any E's," my daughter announced. "I don't see anything."
The clinician turned to me. "I'll have to send the doctor in." I bit my cheeks and nodded.
The ophthalmologist entered the room wringing his hands. "I hear we have a problem." He looked over her chair and caught my eye. I covered my mouth and nodded.
"You can't see the letters on the wall?" He asked my near-sighted daughter.
"I can't see any of the letters," she said. "Or the number three on the end."
He cleared his throat. "Have you had any trouble with your eyes burning? Things looking blurry to you?"
She sighed. "My eyes always burn and everything is blurry. I told my mom a million times."
"Well, she has you here now." He winked at me. "We'll take care of you. How are things at school? Any trouble seeing the board?"
"I can't see the board. I can't even see my teacher sometimes."
The doctor closed his eyes and clamped a hand over his mouth.
"I think I need glasses," my daughter said.
"Possible." The doctor pulled the refractor down and positioned it on her face. "I need you to look through here and tell me if you can read the letters now." He flipped and switched lenses, questioning her after each change.
After what might have been the longest eye exam in history, she still could not see one letter on the wall. The doctor pulled the machine away from her eyes and pushed it back into place over her head.
"I think I could see the letters with glasses," my daughter said.
The doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid not. I just tried every pair of glasses we have on your eyes and none of them helped. I believe your eyes are just tired." He looked at me. "This girl just needs more sleep. I would suggest putting her to bed thirty minutes earlier at night."
I thanked him and expressed my relief. She left the examining room ahead of me and he offered another bit of advice. "She belongs on stage."


Comments: 53
My youngest needed glasses early... He hated them of course! He whined and pleaded for contact lenses... and he got them himself by breaking into his savings. The good thing about it ? He was more careful not to lose them because he knew he did not want to spend more of his money on replacements!
Thanks everyone for reading and sharing your own stories. I think there might be a few new articles born of this... looks like several of you have fun, related stories to tell.
I was jealous of all the braces that surrounded me. I was blessed with the only straight smile in the family. I remember thinking how cool the colored rubber bands looked on many of my friends, and I was fascinated by retainers and night gear.
Because both of my sisters practically financed the Orthodontist's vacation beach home, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to expect reciprocal compensation from my Mom. Thirty something years later. She sees it differently.
I think I have two who are her kindred spirits. Sarah stood in front of the sliding glass door one July Fourth, and twirled and pranced with a pair of sparklers. We didn't realize that she was watching herself dance in the reflection on the glass.
Jen is definitely our Meryl Streep. The other day she came in to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed, burying her face in my pillow. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was devastated because she just knew that she was going to be made fun of at school this year...because she didn't have all the "right" erasers.
Her exact words were " Mother, I'm going to be a laughed out of 3rd grade because I only have pink erasers. Do you know what it's like to only have pink erasers?"
(I told her that I did, and that I thought she might make it through without erasers that looked like little animals and flowers.)
She has recently started calling Tom and I "Father" and "Mother"...which is really amusing to us because we are so NOT that formal. Tom offered to take her for a ride to find her "real" parents. She looked at him, very seriously and said, "Father, I know that you are being sarcastic. Unfortunately, you are my real parents."
(she's 8)
thank you
I've worn glasses since I was 7, and I really must have needed them, because I don't ever remember hating them -- I was just so glad to be able to see!
Becky, that's a great story about Jen. Jessica called me 'mother' from birth, I think. Never did understand why. I think Jen is more like Jessica and Sarah is the real 'Lyrical'.
Thanks everyone, for reading and commenting. This is a fun comment thread.
Speaking of glasses, I used to work in my father's optical lab, but I fell into the lens grinding machine...and made a spectacle of myself.
Seriously, thanks mom for not posting the glasses picture! Love you.
Charles, the secret to that position you want is Sentor Slowly. He's taking tips from Governor Fletcher (R-KY) on doling jobs out to friends and campaign donors.
BTW - can someone explain the recent titles that people have adopted? I feel so out of the loop lol.
The titles are in support of Senator Slowly. I'm on break for a few hours (my comment is showing on the front page and I thought Gather might not appreciate my title there).
Ah, to be young and in need of attention! I think I felt the same way as your daughter did about braces, until I discovered first hand how painful they are. By then it was too late to back out!
I've been lucky - at 43 I'm the only one left in my family who doesn't wear glasses. Reading & driving are both just fine, thank you. But I did recently buy a pair of weak reading glasses, specifically for beading. I'm a tiny bit nearsighted and threading the little bead-weaving needles was frustrating.
Ah children, I have a dramatiist and a comedian/entertainer for children.
Can't remember which made me laugh the most often.
Fun, all of it.
Why is a lying manipulative child wonderful?
You grabbed us and delighted us as always.
Our children might all be acadamy award winners!
And to Pat D. Take a deep breath, sit back, relax. Do you have kids? Me thinks not, but then you could just be humorless.
Pat D's comment really bothered me, I can be glad he/she was not one of my parents.
I had to come back to be sure I had read it correctly.
I kind of hoped any references to wonderful were meant for the memories the article evoked, or maybe even for the story telling or writing.
I got contacts less than six months later, after doing a little cover your eyes and look at the chart routine along with a commercial on t.v. I wore my mom down, and she agreed thinking that the eye doctor would say I was too young.
The funny thing is that I wear glasses a lot now for fun. I have three pairs, and have another coveted pair that I really don't need.
Me, I hated mine because the 'good-looking' people didn't need them?
I was already a geek - now I needed horn-rimmed glasses! Augh!
now, I wouldn't be seeing without them!
Thanks for coming to read this, Kate and Eric.
sometimes I have to watch where my other favorites have commented to track ya down - seek and comment...