We've all thought about what 10 CDs we would take to a desert island, and those among us with a heavy burden of too much time on our hands have probably even made lists, but what are the top 10 unlikely CDs you really wish existed?
Woody and Janeane: Together in Bollywood
Woody Allen and Janeane Garofalo delight the senses with their sonic tribute to the rhythmic pageant that is Bollywood. The CD includes a music video in which Woody and Janeane perform a typical Bollywood courting dance.
Karl Rove: Folsom Prison Blues
I don't care whether he sings on the album or not, as long as he sings in court. I just want the CD to confirm that he's there and will be there for a very long time.
Pat Boone Sings Megadeth
The title says it all, really.
The Presidential Shakespeare Company performs Macbeth
This is a spoken word CD with Georgie in the title role. In the grand tradition of Shakespearean drag queens, Dick Cheney plays Lady Macbeth. Here's an excerpt:
Lady Macbeth: Why, worthy inthane,
You do unbend your global angst, to think
So brainsickly of things. Go get some oil,
And wash this filthy witness from your hand.
Why did you bring these Diebolds from the place?
They must lie there: go carry them, and smear
The Supreme Court with blood.
Macbeth: Ah'll go no more:
Ah'm afeard to think.
Look, honest, I care not.
Lady Macbeth: Infirm of brain waves,
Give me the Diebolds! The sleeping and the dead
Are but as voters; 'tis the eye of childhood
That fears painted democracy. If it do bleed,
I'll gild the faces of the Court withal;
For it must seem their guilt.
I don't want to spoil the ending, but when environmentalists bring forestry issues to Washington, led by Al Gore in the role of MacDuff, Macbeth is defeated. To round out the illustrious cast, Condi Rice, Laura Bush, and Ann Coulter play three twisted sisters.
The Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
Pete Townsend, Roger Daltrey, John Entwhistle, and the band get together for one last gig, because after trashing all those hotel rooms, man, they're broke. They're joined by Regis on accordion and kick out the Squeeze Box jams.
The Dead: Truckin' on Broadway
There's trouble right here in River City, as The Dead return and bring the groovy space jam thing they pioneered to the Broadway stage. It's a long strange trip through the classic show tunes from favorite musicals like Oklahoma, The Music Man, Cabaret, Chicago, and Cats. Stunning is the only word for Bob Weir's rendition of "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say No." On the accompanying video, Phil Lesh performs "Razzle Dazzle" in a sequined tie-dye, but doesn't quite pull off the role of sleazy criminal defense lawyer. Maybe they should've stuck with Hair.
Megadeth: Boone Again
Their evil ways mended by the love of their Christian brother, Megadeth returns the favor. Right back at ya, Pat.
The Muppets and the Teletubbies: A Tribute to Barbra Streisand
The combined ensemble of these two shows did everything right with this tribute album. It's too bad that they were prevented from releasing their follow-up album, Cher-ing Our Love, because of a feud that developed when Ernie left Burt for Tinky-Winky.
Pat Robertson's Coming Out Party
Pat collaborates with RuPaul, Sir Elton John, and disco diva Donna Summer in this touching apology to the GLBT community. Forever laying to rest persistent rumors of his homophobic self-hatred, Pat sings on the confessional Queer As Me, "I'm not a tiny bit gay, I'm a whole lot happier than that. Come and get me boys, I'm a sassy brat."
Britney and Hillary: Wagner Rocks!
Britney Spears and Hillary Duff don horned helmets and metal brassieres to belt out Wagner arias to a pounding hip-hop beat. These Valkyries got it goin' on. Know what I'm sayin'?
What's in your imaginary CD collection?
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Comments: 21
my brain is shot, so i'm gonna have to give this some thought.
The mention of Ann Coulter made me think of one.
Ann Coulter: The Bitch Is Back ;-)
Every toddler's favorite dinosaur helps rap's bad boy clean up his image. This album contains the hit singles "Cleaning Out Your Closet, Everybody, Everywhere" and "Let's Be Friends, Slim Shady."
Con, I would think Macbeth would lend itself to political parodies of many leaders, but I think in the case of W it is more fitting than for either LBJ or Clinton. However ruthless some people think those men may have been, I don't think many would honestly say they believe that either LBJ or Clinton illegally usurped the presidency. Large numbers of Americans believe W did, including myself.
Mona, I hope you give it some thought. I'd really like to see what others come up with.
Sam, I like your suggestion for the 3 Weird Sisters better, especially because I could then say "in keeping with the traditional Shakespearean drag used throughout the production..." (Does anyone else think Ann Coulter is secretly a man?)
Marsha, your suggestion is right on the money!
AstroGirl, you may be a little young (feel free to chide me if I'm wrong) to remember the Lawrence Welk show, where Guy and Ralna sang. I once heard them do a version of Sweed Caroline that substituted "holding hands" for "touching hands", presumably because the latter was too graphic.
I want a "Guy and Ralna Cover Zeppelin Classics", and I want it as a vinyl record, because the album art would have to be very interesting.
Hey, nice top ten list, by the way. It's featured in the top ten list group.
I don't know if it matters or not but John Entwhistle, my favorite member of the group, is dead. No reason that he and Keith Moon couldn't be there for the reunion. My favorite Who album is "The Who Sell Out." Any band that could do an Odorono commercial would be at home with Reege on the accordion.
I would love to hear the Dead do Rogers and Hammerstein. I was in a jug band years ago. Two of our crowd pleasers were "I Only Have Eyes for You" and "Second Hand Rose." "Teddy Bears' Picnic" was another one that went over well. The Grateful Dead started as a jug band.
"She ripped her glittering gown, couldn't face another show, no. Her deodorant had let her down. She should have used Odorono."--The Who, "Odorono"
Jackie, you lucky devil, you.
Nippy, whoops! I guess those rock and roll icons are just dying off too fast for me to keep track. Sorry to hear it. Well, then he and Keith can join in from the other side.
I actually would love to hear the Dead do Rogers and Hammerstein too. That may be because I would love to hear the Dead do just about anything, though. Those guys are amazing, and yes, I know about the jug band heritage. The Grateful Dead followed me for many years. Tee hee!
The William Shatner album, fortunately, is real. His version of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" is one of the greats.
"Yanni Goes Astral, a Tribute to Sun Ra" is a can't miss.
"Modern Classics for Lovers" by Spike Jones. Spike and the City Slickers take on the works of Schoenberg, John Cage, Harry Partch, Philip Glass, Stravinsky, and Bartok. Guest vocalist Joan La Barbara adds a bit of spice to the mix.
One of my real guilty pleasures is "Petite Fleur and More--Heinz Holliger plays the Best of Sidney Bechet" You haven't heard anything till you hear the foremost living oboe virtuoso play Bechet's solos note for note.