Quote: "If you banish fear nothing terribly bad can happen to you." Margaret Bourke-White, Photographer
This is among my favorite quotations; I understand exactly what it means and what I must do.
I know two religions well enough to see where the same idea is present in their teachings, Christianity and Buddhism. This idea is probably also present in other religions, but I am not familiar enough with them to say for certain.
I don't believe it is necessary to be a believer of a religious discipline to have a fearless life. Fearless does not mean reckless, thoughtless, risk taking. Fearless does not mean having no care about the consequences of ones words and actions.
Fearless means going about ones life and business with confidence. Mark Twain/Samuel Clemens has a marvelous quote about this kind of confidence that does have a religious link. "...having the confidence of a Christian holding 4 aces."
To me this quote "If you banish fear nothing terribly bad can happen to you," means not letting culturally influenced fear prevent you from making the decisions about how you conduct your life. Not letting fear make your decision or choice about your education, your relationships, and your preferred career, to travel alone, to speak in front of a crowd or group. Not being afraid to take the steps necessary for what you want for your life.
One of the most inhibiting of the culturally induced fears for women in particular include, being nearly constantly afraid of assault. This fear renders some women afraid to live alone, afraid to shop after dark, afraid to travel alone, afraid to take certain jobs.
I am not, of course, referring to women in countries where assault on women is an accepted part of the culture.
Other fears, preventing women from living as fully as possible are fear of rejection, fear of being subjected to ridicule, fear of not finding a partner, fear of not having the desired physical appearance, fear of poverty and fear of not being loved/accepted.
I spent much of my life letting a lot of fears make my choices. I read this quote for the first time about ten years ago. I at first rejected it as silly and dangerous. But I had already spent some time trying to understand the how and why of my life up to that time, and did not forget it, and yes as I read, and questioned many other ideas, I began to understand this one.
I am not going to set out a map for another person to follow. I have learned that unlocking the reasons of why we do what do and think as we think and why sometimes we seem lost, is a very personal process. Some people rely on religion, and some on professional counselors and some of us just jump in and flounder around on our own.
I will continue to work at unlearning all my unnecessary fears, because I believe Margaret Bourke-White is correct.
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Comments: 29
Andrea,
I understand too well what you are telling me.
I had so many fears I was frozen, most of my own making of course.
Yes, we are not clones, but individuals.
Ed,
Thank you. I know men deal with fears, but I focused on women because our culture treats women's fears as normal and expected.
i'M not saying that we shouldn't learn how to understand the why of our fears and walk as far down that road we can to overcome and live with each difficult situation that comes our way, BUT terrible things do happen to many people, the 'good' and the 'bad', and it doesn't just matter HOW we view the circumstances in our lives.
I do believe sometimes we live with fear over situations and circumstances that should not bring us fear and yes, here we should reevaluate and learn that this is not fear based on reality. sometimes one needs counseling, sometimes a spouse to help you see reality or friends to talk you through the dark night of the soul and for many prayer and God's word bring healing to a fearful heart, but this does not mean terrible things will not happen. if we truly believe they never will happen and then they do, the sorrow, confusion, betrayal can turn a fearless heart into a bitter heart. we live in a broken world and have been raised by broken parents and are broken ourselves. we all know that at times we do what we don't want to do and don't do what we want to do; sometimes the biggest enemy is ourselves and our ability to fail the ones we love. sad but true.
this could go on. i'm interested in seeing others thoughts.
You have said almost exactly what I thought the first time I read the quote.
My fears did not help me, they harmed me. My fears did not keep bad things from happening to me but did cause me to miss a lot of the joy of being alive.
Sometimes I don't even realize there is a fear standing in my way, preventing me from traveling in a certain direction. It takes some time to look at what I perceive as a roadblock or inability and analyze the problem: is it internal or external? And, then the question is "How do I deal with this?" (not "Can I?") Sometimes it is a fear, but identifying it as such is such a huge step forward!
I suffered for many years as a young woman with a horrible fear of being alone at night. It caused me to make decisions that weren't always in my best interest. I can't say for sure how or when this fear lost it's grip on me, but I have vowed to never let that feeling take control again. I took my kids camping alone in a remote forest, we vacationed alone for 2 weeks in several states, by alone I mean without an adult male companion. The freedom from fear has allowed me to live a full life. One of my favorite quotes..." There can be no equality while women feel unsafe."
I think the subtle monster on this particular fear is all the cultural support it receives, as if it is normal.
You must be feeling like you have stepped free of a cage, It is very good to hear you are enjoying atcivities with your children.
I agree with the equality quote. One of the reasons I stopped watching tv in 1994 is these messages are constantly reinforced by television programs and news.
I would like to see more about making is normal for women and children to be safe, feel safe.
We should be learning self-reliance. We should be learning to avoid foolish risks, or learning to be prepared for situations, not waiting for a fairy godmother or deus ex machina to save us.
I agree. Some of it is cultural oppression of women and female children.
Personal self defense classes help some women get free of these fears or keep them form forming.
I agree that good sense is needed and that sensible behavior is not the same as fearful behavior.
Yes, we do all know that quote:
William Shakespeare,
"Cowards die a thousand deaths the valiant taste of death but once"
Great reminder, I knew that quote, but didn't apply it to the fears that I was accepting as normal.
F.Y.I.
It is from his Play Julius Ceasar,
Here is the full quote.
"Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, it seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come". - (Act II, Scene II).
Glad to finally hear it properly quoted!
But for language Shakespeare is the best.
My daughter-in-law is struggling with a lot of fearfulness, I keep telling her, stop worrying about it, don't feel bad about yourself for it, one day, you will say, I am not going to spend the rest of my life being afraid. It is what my own mother-in-law had told me.
The only time I had ever seen my own mother exhibit any fear was when it was fear for the safety and well being of one of her children.
The source of my fears have been a mystery to me. I was quite fearless as a child, up to about age 12.
Thank you,
I still don't exactly "jump" in, but I do proceed now, and don't excuse my self from living.
Mary,
I actually made my own motivational tapes, since I couldn't find any that had what I needed.
I used to play them while I did the fast walk/jog exercise with a friend, she thought I was nuts, trying to re-learn how I thought. . .It can be done.
your words here give people something to ponder over. good job...
Fear is possibly the most successful political tool.
I lean to "it is all thought" more than to "spiritual"