by Max Babi
Member since:
May 4, 2006

Baat Karni Mujhe Mushkiil ....by Bahadurshah Zafar, translated and transcreated by Max Babi

August 04, 2006 05:13 AM EDT (Updated: August 06, 2006 07:48 PM EDT)
views: 1449 | rating: 9.8/10 (8 votes) | comments: 26

Baat karni mujhe mushkil kabhi aisi to na thi
le gayaa chheen ke kaun aaj teraa sabr-o-qaraar?
beqaraari tujhe, ae dil! kabhi aisi to na thi

un ki aaNkhoN ne, KHudaa jaane, kiyaa kyaa jaadoo
yeh tabeeyat meri maa'il  kabhi aisi to na thi

Chashme saqui meri dushman thii hameshaa lekin

Jaisi ab ho gayi quateel, kabhi vaisi toh na thi…

kyaa sabab tu jo bigaD.taa hai 'zafar' se har baar?
KHoo teri hoor-e-shimaa'il kabhi aisi to na thi

  

Glossary :

Sabr- patience; quaraar - peace; maa'il - attracted, inclined; bequarari -restlessness, unease,
KHoo - habit; hoor - angel; shimaa'il - the very best amongst the lot,

 

Translation :


Conversing was never a big deal as it is now,

your gathering was never [so lively] as it is now

Who has snatched away your peace and patience,

O my heart, you were never so restless ever before…

God alone knows what magic her eyes have wrought

I had never felt thus inclined ever before…

The eyes of the lovely wine-server had always been deadly,

But the deadliness they have now was never like this ever before…

What makes you upset with 'Zafar' all the time

Hey you exalted houri,  you never had this habit  ever before…

© Max Babi

 

Transcreation :

Why do  words get stuck in my throat,                                         

Why does your gathering sparkle so?                                             

Who ruined your peace and patience?                                  

Why this restlessness, o my heart?

 

What celestial magic her eyes have woven,

Why do I feel a spring flowering inside me now?

Oh her eyes have always spewed pure magic

But the deadliness today seems extra potent. 

What makes you take offense with Zafar every time,                 

Hey you exalted houri, you never had these airs, ever before.

© Max Babi

 

Notes : This ghazal very conspicuously in the highly romantic tete-a-tete tradition between a besotted lover and his beloved, I have deliberately chosen from the last Mughal emperor Bahadur Shah 'Zafar' [Victorious] so as to let the readers see his versatility… he is reputed to have penned 25 collections of such immortal ghazals.

 

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Comments: 26

Fred Hose Aug 4, 2006, 5:36am EDT
Max
The beauty of this poem and its history is stunning. I wondeer at the poer of the words. I can't imagine what the original sounds like. It must be really something mind boggling. Fred
John Doyle Aug 4, 2006, 6:59am EDT
Keep it up max. You do us all a great service. To me there seems to be a sensuality in Eastern poetry even Eastern religious poetry which is anent in the poetry of the west which seemes to involve the entire person in the experience.
Patricia Henderson Aug 4, 2006, 10:04am EDT
Hi again Max,
Introducing us to this tradition of ghazal poetry is truly kind. The form is so very sensual.
By providing both a translation and "transcreation" you help Gather readers cross the bridge at least part of the way back in time and across cultures.
So nice to see someone so knowledgeable about India! :) Patricia / "Jin Wen"
Carol Roach Aug 4, 2006, 10:10am EDT
I love this poetry Max, I have an affinity for all the is eastern and to learn more about eastern cultures as time goes by.
sara khan Aug 4, 2006, 10:55am EDT
Ghazals....my parents, especially my father loves them...

I for one can never actually understand them...its a pity...to forget how beautiful one's language is and to understand only small bits of it...

please, keep it alive forever
Cena W. Aug 4, 2006, 10:14pm EDT
Max,
These translations and your excellent transcreations are pure delight and so romantic.
jane bhandari Aug 5, 2006, 3:18am EDT
loved this poem, max, and have sent it on to a very dear friend.
You may get my own version in due course!
jane
David R. Israel Aug 5, 2006, 5:03am EDT
Superb Max! -- and let's see more!

I've now blogged my formal verse rendition (based on your translation) here.

cheers,
d.i.
Max Babi Aug 5, 2006, 5:36am EDT
Fred, you would have to formalize Urdu learning, if you want to really feel the magnificence of these lyrics, also you need to listen to the soulful rendering of the incomparable Mehdi Hasan -immortal words, immortal melody, I balk at enormity!
cheerz!
sea gull l. Aug 5, 2006, 7:47am EDT
thank you for bringing this world closer ..
i like how you translate in two ways: literal meanings and then try to make it poetic!
you are an inspiration !
Ozymandias Zedevander Aug 5, 2006, 8:01am EDT
As a ghazal it isn't quite as great as some ghazals one has heard, and the previous one by Zafar was better definitely. But could I make a sacrilege and say that your transcreation was actually better than the original?
Max Babi Aug 5, 2006, 8:12am EDT
OZie dear, I would shudder at the blasphemy, why are you shining a candle to the sun? Since this ghazal is one of my personal favourites -I think you should listen to either Mehdi Hasna or Runa Laila sing this ghazal in raag Pahadi, those are bewitching songs, and then try to see the magnificence of 'nazook khayali' [the art of tender articulation]... I beg to differ from you though you are paying me an honest compliment. How paradoxical!
cheerz!
Susan Pattishall Aug 5, 2006, 11:07am EDT
Sad. Just sad.
Ozymandias Zedevander Aug 5, 2006, 12:09pm EDT
I've rated you 10, but that is for the transcreation only. I don't think I can be fit enough to rate Zafar, even though I liked the earlier ghazal better.
Max Babi Aug 5, 2006, 10:17pm EDT
Batul, muchas gracias! I think with your support, even if I end up with one devoted reader I am floating a transcreation blog...apart from Urdu poetry I have hillocks of Gujarati poetry to go through my grinding mill. So keep on the look out... hope you will link to my blog.
love
Max
Nimesh D. Aug 6, 2006, 7:10am EDT
Waah! Jahaanpanah Zafar. Ufff! Max i have to tell you that your transcreation uplifted the essence of the poem.

Incredible. I think the feeling of this poem is more when one discovers he is in love with someone he has known for a long time and suddenly he realises he is in love. And suddenly he starts choking and feels his beloved belongs to the heavens and not on this earth.
David R. Israel Aug 6, 2006, 2:20pm EDT
Incidentally Max, on my blog (with my version that also points to your presentation here), I got this comment from another blogger (Mohammed Shahid Abdulla):

<< Could you please intimate Mr Babi that he has wrongly rendered a 'sher' of zafar's. the first 'mesra' would end with:

"...merii dushman thii hameshaa lekin" >>

cheers,
d.i.
Max Babi Aug 6, 2006, 7:41pm EDT
David, thanks for relaying the scholarly remark by Mr. Abdulla. He is right, I have indeed left out one word, 'lekin' which I shall add by editing soon. However due to a most fortunate quirk of fate, neither the translation nor transcreation would suffer because lekin means 'but' ... and thus need not be translated. It is
implied. Thanks for pointing this out.
cheerz!
Max Babi Aug 7, 2006, 3:27am EDT
Nimesh, there's lot of food for thought here... the point you raise by implying that Bahadurshah Zafar may have had God in mind is probably a step higher than my earlier suspicion that he may have had India, his beloved, in mind... the beauty of Urdu poetry has precisely been this ability to put on multihued garbs and let readers read their own meanings into simple lyrics.

Most of the popular ghazals have thus been open to various interpretations, from other masters too. I have no tools nor the wherewithall to defend my reading into that particular ghazal -but I would love to mention here that his reference to the exalted hoori, 'hoor-e-shi'maiil' may seem slightly misplaced to the Sufis and transcedental experts... perhaps this expression ties him down to the learned gatherings of own coterie of poets like Mirza Ghalib, Ustad Zauq and Momin to name but a few from the galaxy. This is a topic fit for research....
cheerz!
Geeta Gupta Aug 7, 2006, 4:28am EDT
Urdu sound very romentic your translation also vey good.
Dolphi D. Aug 8, 2006, 1:48pm EDT
Max – I note that you have so many fans and followers on Gather, who can technically better appreciate your poetry, that their encouragement is transcreating you from a simple travelogue writer into a celestial poet.

Indeed, your transcreations of Urdu ghazals into English are superb. Poets like you alone can bring about a harmonious fusion of oriental and occidental cultures.
Max Babi Aug 8, 2006, 2:27pm EDT
Thanks Geeta, and hey Dolphi you made some loaded comments here... indeed it is the readership that hones the skills of the writer.

I am glad to be exploiting my talents in a way they bring joy to not only myself but such a lot of others who may have never heard of urdu poetry.

Tks and cheerz!
Lisa Darcy Aug 8, 2006, 3:12pm EDT
What beautiful work! Your transcreation fills in the gaps left between our different cultures, and it gives a clearer picture of the subtleties and nuances found in Urdu ghazals, which are often lost in strict translation. Thank you.
Thanks...this was just beautiful.

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