Ab Kyaa Bataun.... Urdu poem by Seemab Akbarabadi, transcreated by Max Babi

ab kyaa batauun main tere milne se kya milaa
irfaan-e-Gham huaa mujhe dil kaa pataa milaa

jab duur tak na koyi faqiir-aashnaa milaa
teraa niyaaz-mand tere dar se jaa milaa

manzil milii muraad milii mudda'a milaa
sab kuchh mujhe milaa jo teraa naqsh-e-paa milaa

yaa zakhm-e-dil ko chiir ke siine se phhenk de
yaa aitaraaf kar ki nishaan-e-vafaa milaa

"Seemab" ko shaguftaa na dekhaa tamaam umr
kambakht jab milaa hameN kam-aashnaa milaa.
(c) Seemab Akbarabadi.


Translation :

Now what can I say - what I gained by meeting you
The hidden pain manifested, I became aware of my heart

When I could not find even a beggarly friend for long
One craving you only I found standing at your door

I found my destination, ambition, whole point of existence
I found everything when I found your foot imprint

Either you must rip off that heart-wound through the chest
Or you must agree that you achieved your aim in love

No one saw "Seemab" happy during a whole lifetime
My unfortunate self, when I found it, it was less friendly.

Notes : This is a much more difficult translation, due to absence of equivalent phrases in English.

1. Ifaan = exposure, uncovering, hence Seemab seems to be saying that the great thing I gained by meeting you is that I became aware of the existence of my heart, only due to the heartache you caused.

2. The mere discovery of a lover's footprint signifies sort of possession of the whole universe : Seemab suddenly finds a whole new meaning to his existence because the footprint tells him she is around somewhere.

3. This is a twisted couplet : Seemab searched for a friend to pour out his heart, but even a near-friend i.e. an acquaintance he could not find. When back at his lover's home he finds one who worships here, meaning, a rival like himself. He could be referring to his own doppelganger, sort of. Lovers can be jealous of their own strength of love. It is physiological existence versus madness of love. Two selves?

4. The paranoid half tells him to rip his heart off through his chest and be away with this unceasing ache. Or, he threatens himself, admit you are hopelessly in love.
Cute lines.

5. No one ever saw Seemab happy or smiling, he contends, for a lifetime. When he finally achieved happiness or peace, it was much less than desired, he claims.

(c) Max Babi, Sept. 2005.

Transcreation :

You ask me what I gained
through knowing you,
Well I experienced agony
manifesting the  existence of my heart

here I went around searching for
a friendly shoulder,
one I found at your door turned out
to be a crazed rival in love

I reached my destination, realized my
ambitions and discovered a new universe
the moment I noticed your footprint on sands

Hey rip off that
chronically aching heart
Or, admit to yourself
you are hopelessly in love

No one saw me happy during
a whole lifetime
-and finally when semblance of peace
reigned, it made me feel shortchanged.
(c) Max Babi.

The Poet : " Seemab Akbarabadi"  was the 'taKhallus' [nom de plue, or pen-name] of Aashiq Husain, born in 1880 in Agra, India. He was a disciple of Daag Dehlvi. His books include Saaz-o-Ahang, Sarod-e-Gam, Nafeer-e-Gam, Kaar-e-Imroz and Sehba-e-Kuhan. He died on 31st January, 1951 at Karachi, Pakistan.