aa phir se mujhe chor ke jaanay ke liye aa
tu bhi tau kabhi mujh ko mananay ke liye aa
rusm-o rah-e dunya hi nibhanay ke liye aa
tu mujh se khafa hai tau zamanay ke liye aa
ai rahat-e jaan mujh ko rulanay ke liye aa
yeh aakhari shumein bhi bujhanay ke liye aa
pindaar = pride, marasim = in a relationship
rasm-o-rahe duniya = customs and traditions of the society
dil-e khush feham = optimistic heart
giryaa = tears
Translation :
It is all right, even if to hurt me,
even if to leave me, do come back to me
hey, let my love's pride remain intact
why don't you come back, to woo me back to joy
Our relationship may not be the same now, but even if seldom,
for the sake of society's expectations, do come back please
To whom all should I explain the reasons for our drifting apart
You may be angry at me, but for the sake of people, do come back please
Since ages, I have been deprived of the joy of catering to your tantrums
hey, you relief for a broken heart, come back to make me cry at least, please
This perennially optimistic heart harbors hopes still,
come back to extinguish the last candle of hope, please...
© Max Babi
Transcreation :
Come back my love, even with hostility glistening in your eyes,
Come back. Just for a brief encounter, come back.
An aura of pride surrounds my love for you,
Come back for a change, woo me into joy.
Pointless flogging a comatose relationship,
But, to keep up appearances, please come back.
Our intimate discords can't be aired
Nurse your anger, but for people's sake, do come back.
What joy it was to take umbrage and seethe,
To soften and dissolve –all that is gone,
You, who were always a shower to my thirsty heart,
Come back to hurt me again, come back.
My idiotic heart, perennially optimistic, harbors hopes,
Come back to snuff out the last candle of hope, come back!
© Max Babi
About the Poet Ahmed Faraz :
He is a tall, mild-mannered Pathan from the Northwest Frontier Province in Pakistan, with a wry sense of humour and looks that still win him a gushing female following. Born in Kohat in a Pushto-speaking family, Faraz did his masters in Persian and started his career as a scriptwriter for Radio Pakistan. He has been an academic and the director-general of the Academy of Letters.
Faraz is essentially a romantic poet. Steeped in classical Persian and Urdu traditions, he combines the sensitivity and lyricism of the 18th century Mir Taqui Mir and the philosophical range and depth of Mirza Ghalib, easily the greatest of the 19th century poets.


Comments: 28
Wonderful, full of double entredres, I just loved (as the way I saw it)
The colour of pain,
such deep, such obstinate,
shall take years of rain,
to wash them away ....
Loved it. much Sadness came ....
you have done a great work. it is one of my favourite ghazals of all time. somehow when i am in thoughtful moood, it comes back to haunt me.
you made my day.
what with use of only hand for now, i have been feeling kind of depressed.
thanks max for this.
Here's my re-rendering in "formal verse" mode.
cheers,
d.i.
============
It's okay if you hanker to grieve me please return to me!
even though you're determined to leave me please return to me!
hey! the pride of adoring you merits its due respect!
to renew me why not deceive me? please return to me!
the life we share may look different yet every now & then
so that others might blindly believe me please return to me
O who could unravel the reasons behind our estrangement?
to wax mannerly when you would peeve me please return to me
too long have I missed the delight of your furious moods!
so that heart-broken tears may relieve me please return to me
in hearts prone to illusions of joy doesn't hope flicker on?
for the candle unsnuffed in naive me please return to me
Well done.
I loved this and was moved by it. So much inner emotion so poetically expressed.
Thank you as well for telling us about the poet. It does make a difference to know about him.
Could be written to a lover, to a nation or to God
.... and translation... very nice.
Bravo!
I can't speak to the technicalities involved here because I don't know the language of the original. As for both the translation and the transcreation--I liked the poem very much and felt the protagonist's lament over his quest to reclaim a lost love. The poem's lyrics are appealing and not overstated. The work is so carefully crafted that I am afraid my cultural ignorance is costing me the enlightenment of the nuances. Regardless, your work is a thoroughly pleasant, satisfying read.
thanks for bridging the language gap!
more power to you!
would appreciate an article by you on the background, some important basics!
much appreciated and do give "translated touch"the group i formed) revival !could be great if more people translated and bridged the gaps of foreign languages!
cheerz!
Tks and cheerz!
Uuuuffffff! That was the only expression when i read the last line
ab tuk dil-e khush feham ko tujh se hein umidein
yeh aakhari shumein bhi bujhanay ke liye aa
Yeh aakhrii shumein bhi bujhane ke liye aah
uffffff!!!! Damned and hopelessly in love.... I knwo thhat feeling...
cheerz
I am not alone!
I never was...
Thank you Maxi...i needed to know that....
your words Susan shook me up.
It's some sort of resonance.
Cheerz!
what i wan't to say is..hm....tell you, it's difficult, i simply can't translate it, i mean, i can't express it 'understably' in english...but there is soemthing wrong with your translation, and what that something is ..i will 'try' to 'express' later...
said that.., i must thank you for this 'work' ...i can to your link or board?..while looking for the text of zafar's baat karni badi muskil...cos of your translation..i 'could' really understand it..! thanks a lot..!
I am writing a book on 'Transcreated Urdu Poetry' where I am doing transcreation of my own Urdu azad nazms, since my output of ghazals is small. I write plenty of nazms.
Glad to know you are joining my network. Hope to get to know you better.
Khuda Hafeez,
Max
You have done a commendable job here and the selection of this Ghazal is just perfect. It has all the beauty, pathos, longing of a lover.