NO NEWS IS NO NEWS
So I successfully climbed one mountain I will call: "This Memoir is Good Enough To Submit to Publishers Mountain." My agent/editor sent it to four prospective publisher 10 days ago. So it was on to the next mountain I will call: "It's Very Hard To Wait For An AnswerMountain." How would I fare? I wondered. My head said Stay Cool. The rest of me, including rebellious parts of my head - let loose a kaleidoscope of feelings and fantasies causing me to experience the last few days as if I was on a perpetual roller coaster ride.
My agent has been her usual encouraging self inviting me to call whenever I might wish to do so. I told her that I was truly appreciative of her kindness but I would try my best to tough it out. However resonating to her obvious excitement I tossed and turned all Sunday night unable to go to sleep. No need to elaborate the thrills associated with a non stop production of dreams of glory enveloping me with waves of self- induced pleasure. For example I wondered about how many seats I would be allotted - if any - to give my family members and friends to attend the Oprah show featuring me.
Aware that fantasy is not the same thing as reality I warned myself to settle down fully aware that dreams are dreams and have the potential to be nightmares.
On Monday afternoon - Mary - my agent/editor called to say she heard from one of the publishers. Like a Dr. telling a patient they have incurable cancer Mary said they rejected my memoir. She read the terse one paragraph letter. I don't recall the actual words. They really don't matter. There was not even a hint as to why they rejected it. It just wasn't right for them. She told me not to be too concerned - she wasn't surprised that this "conservative" publisher would not take to my work.
Shake it off I said to myself. Don't take it personally. You have three fish left. Maybe at least one of them will like the bait. But is the bait poison I wondered. What if I strike out? You all know the internal debate. Someone has to take it eventually, versus no they do not. Unable to read the future when it is out my hands my primary task is to keep myself grounded remaining hopeful but girding myself up for the possibility of three more rejections - and maybe more after them.
I decided to do something different than I have ever done in the past when ever I have received bad news. Instead of forcing myself to have a stiff upper lip I let myself feel hurt. In so doing I recalled other times of sadness, disappointment, and rejection. However I also realized that since I have outlived all of the past pain, I was quite likely to get over this present pain as well. Mercifully by the next day I was back to my reasonably buoyant self.
Today I did some serious reality testing. I have tried my best to be as objective as possible in adding up the pluses and the minuses that will most likely be used by a potential publisher in deciding to accept my book or pass on it. Following is my plus list:
* SMACK IN THE MIDDLE: MY ODYSSEY TREATING HEROIN ADDICTS IN THE SIXTIES - A MEMOIR - is a good title.*The two chapters I submitted are the best writing I have ever done.
*The chapters are well edited, clear, concise, and readable.
*Even though the story happened thirty five years ago the content is topical, and universal.
*Memoirs, and dramatic non fictions, are in favor.
* I have an experienced agent/editor who believes in me and what I have to say, telling me many times that my story is "important."
* My memoir is highly informative, original, and entertaining - a page turning psychological thriller.
* It is a truthful account of what happens behind the scenes in a rehabilitation program to cure drug addicts presenting the best and the worst of treatment interventions related by a budding psychotherapist who is, himself, struggling to attain and sustain a solid self
* There are multiple dimensions that criss-cross and overlap. These are: a dramatic story describing Odyssey House during a crucial phase in its development covering a 17 month period; a scientific dimension diagnosing the central problem of drug addiction as the lack of a solid identity characterized by a lack of basic trust both of others and oneself; a political dimension describing and exploring key conflicts that arose between various factions and their effects on the treatment process; a psychological dimension recounting the personal odyssey of the author's identity quest (past and present); a philosophical dimension expressed as a quest for the knowledge of absolute truth and objective reality in a context critically interfering with attaining and sustaining this goal; and a spiritual dimension exploring the crucial importance of the presence or absence of faith, hope, trust, love, and persistence as it relates to successful {or failed} treatment outcomes.
As to the minus list - at the present moment I can conceive of nothing that makes any rational sense.
Ok, Ok, Ok I get it. You have made your point and then some. If the book ever gets published I, will go right out and buy the first copy. However the insistent and persistent fact remains that my publishing fate is out of my hands. All I can reasonably do is wait for an answer trying my best to keep myself grounded.
UGH!
The only answer to your situation, is to go on writing. Working on something else is the most positive thing you can do for yourself at this time.
Best of luck.
Wilhelmine Estabrook commented Jul 21, 2006
Gibbs,
I know what you are going through...at least vicariously. My brother is an unpublished writer. He's written two novels. I am intimately familiar with both works, since I served as manuscript preparer and copy editor. I think they are pretty good.
He can't even get an agent interested in taking him on, let alone a publisher! There are so many wannabe writers out there that "real" publishers are inundated with manuscripts. I say "real" because he has had a number of little "boutique" publishers who are more than willing to publish his books...for a price, of course.
It is very discouraging
Bert Bigelow commented July 21,2006
I have never been through actual publishing. The wait alone would drive me crazy. I wish you the best of luck.
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Comments: 6
I have a friend who was rejected 21 times before someone took her work, which then received high critical praise and even a prize.