BETTER NOT

BETTER NOT

By Bill Cottringer

 I am sure there are plenty of words in the exponentially expanding English language, which if deleted from all dictionaries and usage, would surely result in a "better" world for many more people. But my dis-favorite word is "better." I am not even sure how this delusional word ever got started even in my own vocabulary. Maybe it was passed on genetically, like the innate concept of magic. At any rate I'd vote to kick the word out of all writing and speech. To do this though, I will have to give myself permission to assume my alternative is in fact "better."

     First of all this "better" idea is probably responsible for the lion's share of the destructive effects of competition, pitting person against person and everything else in the universe in a kill or be killed feeding frenzy. Of course, who is going to disagree with the fact that we humans are highest on the food chain? I once met a whale boat guide on Orcas Island in the San Juan chain who made a very good case for whales being ahead of us in all the ways that count most. But that's not the point. The point is that we need to compete against ourselves only and cooperate with everything else. This would undoubtedly result in a much better world for the Team Earth Planet.

     Many problems start with faulty premises and all the other wrong assumptions we make in our beginning education. Consider this one for example. Could you imagine a school system doing away with both the Catholic school absolute standard and the public school infamous bell curve grading systmes—to replace these injustices with a genuine, meaningful performance evaluation of student individual gains by ability level coming into the game? One that measures: (a) what a student already knows from day one and has the capability of learning more about, and (b) then re-measures what actually happened as a result of the teaching. Computer and brain assessment technology is already here to take out  the worry of subjectivity in such an endeavor.

    Under this different grading scheme, an "A" student could be the one who learned the least compared to the rest of the class and yet made the most gain within him or herself, whereas an "F" student could learn the most compared to everyone else and yet didn't gain a lick of new sense. I guess that scheme might be too hard to implement, just like another energy source other than oil?

     Maybe the concept "better" is so engrained in our thinking, attitudes and beliefs that it drives the problems associated with the communication of those mental activities. After all, something is always "better" than something else. Rich is better than poor, prettiness is better than ugliness, happiness is better than sadness, smart is better than stupid, right is better than wrong and true is better than untrue. But I guess that depends upon which side of the equation you are on at the time of choosing. We all want to be better than we are. So why don't we compete against ourselves and help each other all be better? Maybe that would make too much sense?

What would happen if we re-defined the word better to just mean "different?" Christianity is just different than Atheism, handsome is just different than homely, a smart hard-wired IQ is just different from a softer EQ or common sense, a artist is just different than a scientist, and Yang is just the flip side of Yin. No better and no worse, just different.

     What an illusion this delusion of better has spread! When all is said and done there are really only two activities in life and they are spreading chaos and restoring order. The only tricks are to know when you are doing which, and not mistaking the one you are presently doing as better than the other. Both are absolutely necessary and they are what make the work go around and around forever and ever as two different sides to the same coin.

     So, maybe we have spread enough chaos around with this word better and it is time to restore some order by seeing the whole picture. This isn't better than that; this is just different than that, simply because of the difference in the size and color of the font, boldness or underline, or something else. In the meantime, what can you do to minimize the unproductive effect of using the word better? Of course my ideas on this strange topic aren't any better than yours, especially if you think they are. I guess I am only challenging the wholesale use of the word better in hopes that we can begin to question its part in determining success and failure in life and the quality of lives such a divisive determination brings about. I vote for using "different" more than "better." Comments?

William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA. He is author of You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too and The Bow-Wow Secrets: How dogs Live Simple Lives & People Don.t He can be reached at (425) 454-5011 or bcottringer@pssp.net