Superman does the Two Word Challenge – Bite Me

Jimmy Olson, copy boy, ran to Lois. "Clark is missing!"

"Impossible! He was just here a minute ago."

Perry called for Lois.

"Lois, in my office, now! I want you to find Superman. The Intergalactic Alien Society's reported him missing.  Lois, here's what you do: Call Interpol and see what they know.  Call the FBI and see if they're onto Interpol.  Then, call the CIA and see if they're onto the FBI and Interpol.  Then find out what Kent knows."

"Perry, Clark is missing.  It's Clark who is missing, not Superman. Clark didn't show for the press conference this morning and I covered for him. Nobody's seen Clark. I called his mother. He hasn't even phoned home."

"Lois, call the FBI and see what they've got on Kent. The FBI must have a dossier.  Maybe Kent and Superman are both missing, for all anybody knows."

Lois went to the roof for a cigarette, hoping Superman would stop by. She waited in vain.

 Lois looked skyward. Nothing but a lonely helicopter, circling menacingly.

"Who is that?" Black helicopter, not good. The helicopter circled three times, then lowered on the rooftop.

Lois lit another cigarette.  I should have known. Luthor and his henchwoman.

"What do you want, Luthor? Superman's not here, as any fool can see."

"Miss Lane, how you underestimate me – it's you I want. You're the fodder for the fool, the hostage who will draw Superman to me, so I can destroy him. Get in, Miss Lane and now, so I don't have to blow your brains out."

"Luthor, you were never a man for subtlety." Lois flashed a glance toward Kitty Koslowski, who trembled beside Luthor.  She looks weak, Kitty does. I bet she's dying inside to get out from under Luthor. I shall help her.

Luthor flew Lois to his headquarters off Metropolis, where they waited for Superman.  Luthor offered her cocktails and shrimp, but Lois would have none of it. Luthor offered to play piano for her, but she refused to listen.

"I'll have none of your false social graces, you monster."

"Pity, you're such a witch. You're beautiful when you're angry."

Lois smirked, her best and most fake smirk.

"We'll just wait, Miss Lane. Superman will come to your rescue, of that I am 100 percent certain. And when he does, he'll fall into my evil grasp. I have Kryptonite."

"Don't be so sure of yourself, Luthor. You're evil, but no match for Superman. And besides –"

The whirring of helicopter blades broke Lois' concentration. Just then, Luthor grabbed Lois and Kitty Koslowski, and tried to pull them both into the helicopter.

"Ladies, bitches, no time to waste – in, I said, in the helicopter." 

Luthor pulled Kitty halfway in, but Lois grabbed Kitty's other arm, keeping her off the helicopter. Lois grabbed Luthor with her free arm and bit him, forcing him to release Kitty, briefly.

"That hurt like hell, Miss Lane – are you woman, or she-devil" You will pay for this with your life."

Just then, Superman appeared as if from nowhere; he swooped down from the sky to stand between Lois and Luthor.

"Luthor, your time is up.  Give me the women."

Luthor reached into his pocket for the Kryptonite, but Superman evinced what Luthor was doing and gave Luthor a withering stare, burning Luthor's hand before Luthor could touch the Kryptonite.

Superman took full advantage of the split-second moment. He grabbed Lois, pulling her close to him, Superman was about to call out, when Lois spoke.

"Wait. We're taking Kitty with us."

"Oh, you are? I won't be forced to stay with my Lexy? " Kitty was beside herself with joy. She would be set free from slavery.

"Kitty, hold tight to me," Superman said.

Lois spoke to Kitty. "You're safe now, Kitty. Luthor no longer has any hold over you."

"Superman, you can't take my woman!" Luthor cried out.

Superman stared hard at Luthor and burned a hole in Luthor's shirt, just above his left breast pocket where Luthor should have had a heart. Finding nothing, Superman continued burning deep into Luthor's soul.

Luthor cried out in pain. "Save me, Superman. I'll be a reformed man.Stop burning me. "

Superman would have none of it. He continued burning deep into Luthor's soul, until there was almost nothing left. As he turned toward the sky, with Lois and Kitty cleaving to his bosom, he turned to Luthor and said: "Bite me."