by Max Babi
Member since:
May 4, 2006

Sounds Of The Sea

July 16, 2006 12:25 AM EDT (Updated: July 16, 2006 09:08 AM EDT)
views: 87 | rating: 9.9/10 (12 votes) | comments: 34
I close my eyes
listening to your schoolgirl prattle
your effervescent words
bulldozing,  a rolling  fog of fears
- what monuments of shadowy gaps
between the said and the unsaid
you conjure up,  at breakneck speed
and then,

a sudden giggle
washes the debris
back into the calm sea
of your womanly wisdom.
 
(c) Max Babi    071606
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Comments: 34

Carol Roach Jul 16, 2006, 1:02am EDT
wow the paradox!
gautami tripathy Jul 16, 2006, 1:10am EDT
thy name is woman!
Marinela Kotsina Jul 16, 2006, 1:51am EDT
Max you always find a super way to express yourself !
HGM Moya Goatley Jul 16, 2006, 6:08am EDT
Delightful, perfect metaphor. Thank you. Moya
Cheryl C. Jul 16, 2006, 8:19am EDT
"Monuments of shadowy gaps"

Perfect image, capturing all the volatile mood-swings of an ingenue's imagination.
Faith H. Jul 16, 2006, 8:27am EDT
Very nicely put, Max, woman wise in the tides.
Menka Shivdasani Jul 16, 2006, 8:59am EDT
Very evocative Max. Just a small typo...the said and he unsaid
Cheryl C. Jul 16, 2006, 9:35am EDT
Actually, Max, I thought your typo made sense.
Max Babi Jul 16, 2006, 9:38am EDT
Cheryl, perhaps it made sense to you.
However now it stands corrected as I had originally meant it to be... juxtaposing two opposites has its own attraction to a poet !
cheerio!
sheryl r. Jul 16, 2006, 10:04am EDT
most women are wise,that is why she is man's partner.
John S. (arizona) Jul 16, 2006, 11:30am EDT
Very nice Max, I enjoyed it. Thanks.
Jim Ross Jul 16, 2006, 11:34am EDT
Max--
I'm particularly taken by your wisdom to not attempt a conclusion but to just let the love for the woman seep through and satisfy. Your poem has left a pleasant, lasting imprint.
Martha Jette, Author/Editor Jul 16, 2006, 11:49am EDT
Very nicely done, Max!
Madame Donna C. Jul 16, 2006, 12:47pm EDT
Nice work Max.
Laurie White Jul 16, 2006, 12:49pm EDT
Very sweet, Max. I really like the last verse here.
Max Babi Jul 16, 2006, 12:53pm EDT
Sheryl dear, that of course is an age-old wisdom having stood the test of time ! Thanks to you all, John, Jim, Martha, Donna and Laurie... very gratifying to see terse comments expressing your affirmative reactions.
Cheerio!
Barbary Chaapel Jul 16, 2006, 9:01pm EDT
Hi, Max...

Schoolgirl prattle...breakneck speed...a sudden giggle: you've worded this well; I can see the girl.
jane bhandari Jul 16, 2006, 11:14pm EDT
Surely the shadowy gaps should be canyons? I liked the said and the unsaid. No typo, I think.
rashti j. Jul 17, 2006, 4:19am EDT
I have no words, which can do justice to the thought's and exact mood you have captured of your understanding of school, who i guess i know:)
Dolphi D. Jul 17, 2006, 4:46am EDT
Great insight! Women and the sea, both unfathomable!
loretta s. Jul 17, 2006, 7:08am EDT
Elegant and humorous, too. Wise poet, I'd say.
Max Babi Jul 17, 2006, 8:55am EDT
Thanks a lot Barbary, Jane, Rashti, Dolphi and Loretta....
and yes Jane there used to be a type rightly sieved out by hawk-eyed Menka... I had corrected it, but my subsequent message had another typo...so I deleted it. This cleansed version is as close to my original thinking as it can be....
cheerz!
Diana Raabe Jul 17, 2006, 3:46pm EDT
Nice work - and timely given the success of the movie, Pirates of the Carribbean, Dead Man's Chest!
Carrie Cahill Jul 18, 2006, 12:28pm EDT
beautiful...just beautiful :)
jessie voigts Jul 19, 2006, 3:49pm EDT
great, max. i clicked on it bc i thought it would be about the sea (which i love) and it was even better, you twisted it for me!
Christie Frenchie Jul 20, 2006, 8:20pm EDT
Max, like jessie voigts, I love the sea--you phrases roll like waves to the beach (I like the sound of it). But, maybe I don't understand it too well, is this "schoolgirl prattle" about an argument?
Then her womanly concerns are a-"wash" by a girlish "giggle"? Help.
Max Babi Jul 21, 2006, 6:11am EDT
Hi Diana, Carrie and Jessie, thanks. For you Christie I am sending a message explaining it.
cheerz!
Andrea M. Jul 21, 2006, 5:25pm EDT
I could so relate to this piece. I often find myself speaking on a topic with enthusiasm and passion, "effervescent words", and suddenly become concious of myself. My husband of almost 25 years seems to find it endearing at times and annoying at others. Like you, Max, he is wise and doesn't say much.
Max Babi Jul 22, 2006, 6:58am EDT
Andrea, I could write a book on that... this dichotomy between male and female responses. On behalf of your hubby let me assure you that his reactions are based on what problems are boiling in his mind at that particular moment... you should try the same effervescence at a more opportune moment...it works !
cheerz!
Tony Close Jul 22, 2006, 7:31am EDT
Max, this is great! I really enjoy it.
Ozymandias Zedevander Jul 22, 2006, 8:46am EDT
I really miss you, do I not?
Julie L. Jul 22, 2006, 10:34am EDT
Max, if only all husbands understood (or tolerated) women as you do. . . (sigh). Wonderful poem.
Max Babi Jul 23, 2006, 11:09am EDT
Thanks Tony, Raamesh and Julie... well, let me say Julie, it's more understanding than 'standing' [tolerating] in such cases... we have a saying in Gujarati language :
gamay eni laat pan gamay, naa gamay eni vaat pan nahi.. if you love someone you would love a kick from him or her, if you do not like someone you cannot stand even a sentence spoken by him or her...
cheerz!
Nimesh D. Aug 6, 2006, 7:35am EDT
Saheb

I have to say this , you have a way not only with words , but to reach to the core of the heart. Especially women. I think i have to meet Mrs.Babi..

Saheb atyant sundar kalpana ane ena thi pan sundar apni rachna...

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