Thanksgiving 2004

Thanksgiving 2004. Another opportunity to bring together family members and old-school relationships for a wonderful meal. It's a customary and normal gathering of like minds. There are people who begin planning in January for this event: Who does the turkey? Stuffing? Let someone who can mash handle the potatoes, now. Rice, greens, cranberry sauce, and homemade bread will certainly be on the table. The guests have the option to bring pies, cakes, cookies, and, oh, don't forget the banana pudding. People will travel from all over the country to arrive at "Big Mama's" to enjoy positive vibes, resolve conflicts, and value a sanctuary away from the chaos in society.

But, once again, I won't be there. For over three and one-half decades I have been determined to sit at that table. The heavy weight of chains, however, restricts any movement beyond a specific perimeter and no further. Though I'm not a happy camper, I must accept that I will be eating squash pie instead of sweet potato pie and I'll be sitting in a large prison dining room and not in a loving household of four generations. Attitude has a great impact upon the health status of an individual, so I remind myself that this longing, too, shall pass.

For the remainder of the year, this euphoria may not resonate in the hearts and souls to such heights. Mental health experts report a high degree of depression during the holiday season. Millions of men and women may not be motivated by the spirits alone or the strength in themselves to face the challenges of the next moment. For a great percentage of human beings, it's not a wonderful life, despite the annual showing of the classic movie. Although women are more identified with various forms of depression, it is obvious that men also suffer, but are less likely to self-disclose and share their feelings with others.

This is the time period of the year to allow people more access to each other and to encourage interaction. The cold winter months will create down-in-the-dumps feelings and, unless navigated properly, can result in substance abuse issues and violent acts towards others and self. It is so important to get out of your own way and not to further isolate from family, friends, and community. The issue does have a lot to do with you and this axiom may be appropriate — you don't change if you don't change! There are many things to be grateful for, beginning with good health and ending with thanks for another moment of life. You can fill in the space in between with positive relationships, community services, and hope for another Boston world series.

I offer a few suggestions which have helped me avoid lengthy bouts of depression and that I hope and pray will provide relief during tumultuous moments: Regular exercise, nutrition (lots of fish and fruits), and daily writing of letters, personal journals, or essays. A constant string of projects, mostly short-term, allows me to initiate and successfully complete tasks in a reasonable time span. Such accomplishments provide warmth to the heart and an illuminating glow of self-esteem. It is healthy to be thankful because an attitude of gratitude will prevent a detour into negative thinking and self-destructive behavior.

Thanksgiving Day 2004. A human being in the segregation unit at the maximum security prison (Walpole) killed himself. He will probably not be the last to terminate life in that environment. Why? How did it happen? A person with major psychological issues was confined to a 6' X 9' cell 24/7 and received no treatment or attention. After an extended period of confinement, he became mentally unraveled and made a decision to terminate his journey on this earth. It is obvious he was neither healthy nor thankful on this national holiday.

Human interaction and the loving kindness of others are integral factors to combat depression and to prevent additional damage to self and others. In prison, there is really no hugging. Even in the facilities with contact visits, an embrace is only allowed at the beginning and the end of the visiting period. Imagine the impact of simply removing this restriction! It would probably decrease the level of violence inside the prison while strengthening family ties.

Though a holiday meal may not be possible by the end of the year, I hope to at least have another opportunity very soon to spend a few moments, and share an embrace, with the special people in my life.