Can Grief Be Called Good?

I wonder as I sit here aching tonight, my head bounding, my sinuses full, eyes swollen and heaviness on my heart that feel like weights, can Grief be called good?

I'm too young to see several of my peers dying; that's what my folks are doing in their 80's. They seem to take it so in stride. Maybe they just appear that way or they've learned to cope with the pain by becoming stoic.

I've lost 3 close friends who lived in Texas, Arizona and Florida. They were all younger than me and I'd been close to them for 30, 25 and 18 years. I do realize that it is a temporary lose for they, like I, trusted in a God who holds them in His hands now. And we wait to meet again…in heaven, in heaven.

I am very thankful that their pains are past (heart problems, rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes) and there are moments when I am able to focus on the joy of knowing that. But then there are the moments when I think of Deborah and her laughing at funny jokes or remember with such laughter how often I'd run her into side-view mirrors; I kept forgetting she couldn't see it (she was blind).

I want to call Jayne and read her 'my story' that I had a chance to share; she'd be excited that I'm writing even more lately. Or talk with Jennifer about being back at our college, and 'do you remember when'. Then I start to cry because I think of one lose and then I cry for all of them. What was special about them? Partly it was our long years of knowing each other. Two of them I met during college and graduate school when I was single. They watched me struggle through my single years. We prayed for good husbands and God brought them. All watched me raise my little band of kids (4) from babies into the teen years and even college. One friend's daughter and mine became good friends at the college we both went to. That is sweet.

Two of my friends hadn't lived near me in over 20 years and one lived near me all of our 18 years friendship. They all had different gifts and personalities. But what they had in common was their love for Jesus and their love for me. All of them were there for me at times in my life when I needed a friend. Though our talks often only happened 2 times a year (with the ones apart) they were as rich and healing in my life as the one who lived near me for 18 years. I would listen to them; each of them had pains, physical and emotional because they all lived in a real world and faced it head on. Sometimes I would cry and they would listen and sometimes vise verse. And then there was Camille whom I came to love in her last year .We (small group bible study) watched her face her dying, with acceptance, with graciousness. We hadn't known her very long in her living but she gave us the privilege of walking through the shadow of death with her. We grew to know and love her in her dying. A saint gone before us. We long for her and we long for Heaven. That is good.,

I'm very tender these days. I cry easy and my teenagers roll their eyes. Though I have lost so much in losing them, I do realize that I am very rich with the love they gave me.

My sadness reminds me that I'm not home yet. I actually feel closer to heaven now; I have friends there and the reunion is soon, very soon.

It is good because it is not without hope. Somehow the tears feel like God's tears; that He weeps with me for the pain that is a part of His children's lives, like the pain you experience when your child hurts.

I believe grief brings me into God's bosom; my heart seems fuller, sights and sounds of life are richer. Yes, grief is good for it places me close to God's heart. Without it I run from what is real and close off the pain of parting and remembering. God gave me good grief just as he gave me tears to express the reality of living in a fallen world., Truly it is only good when it brings me as a child to my Heavenly Father, knowing that His Balm to my soul will only be complete with healing when I see him face to face. Oh, Heaven come down!