On a way-too-hot summer day much like today was, when I was eight years old, I decided to take a walk in my backyard. Without my shirt on.
My mother, of course, was horrified and pulled me in the house within three minutes. She explained to me in a voice that was half serious, half laughing, that I wasn't supposed to walk outside like that because I was a girl.
At the time, I didn't understand why I should be so different just because I was a girl. All the boys went out without shirts on; why couldn't I? Although my non-existent chest at 8 turned as little as two years later into the beginnings of what some now call a "fabulous rack", to this day I still get irritated at what I see as one of the world's classic double-standards: the fact that a man can bare his naked chest all day long, but the world flips the moment they see a naked breast.
Let's turn the tables for a moment: what if, the day of the Superbowl, Justin Timberlake's shirt had magically fallen apart? A million teenage girls would spontaneously combust in screams and giggles, but beyond that nothing. Janet Jackson shows a nipple? It's front-page news for a week (and a million grown men weep at having missed it, and then download it en masse off the Internet). Or, to put it in the context of more recent Gather-specific events, what if the recent cleavage shot that has caused such a ridiculous amount of fuss here on Gather was of a man's naked chest? Nothing. No fuss at all. In fact, I've seen two or three male chest shots so far, and there's been no comments on them. So what's the big deal here?
Let's face it; a shirtless man is no big deal - even when the most unforgiveably unattractive men (and I've seen more than my share) go shirtless, it doesn't make a peep. Unless, of course, he's brutally hot, in which case my hat (but not much else, because people would flip) is off to you. But the minute a woman goes shirtless, it's porn. It's just not fair.
Of course, I'm not suggesting here that women should burn their bras, or go topless as a matter of course, or any of that. But dude - why flip out over a flash of breast? Why give men the right to take off their shirts the minute the temperature gets above 70 with little to no comment, but a flash of nipple is worthy of public outcry? Can't we just get over it already?
© 2006 Dani Nordin. All rights reserved.
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Comments: 39
In Ontario, women can go topless, but as with men, not bottomless. It is the law.
And what IS the problem anyway, with parts of the world? Our breasts were put on there to feed our future offspring, not to make men horny.
Was any guy actually let down by not seeing Janet's teat? As I remember, it was not that great of a teat.
I just remember some guy on the news claiming that "This is the biggest scandal of all time, nothing can top this" or something like that. Biggest scandal of all time? Her brother was being accused of drugging little boys to make sweet love to them, but somehow seeing one nipple is a bigger scandal than possible pedophilia.
That's precisely my point. It's NOT a big deal. But for whatever reason, the minute it happens it turns into a huge deal. The same thing happens with Hollywood actresses - it's a huge deal when a female actress decides to go nude in a film (leading to accusations of "selling out," "being a slut" and so forth) but nobody cares about Ewan McGregor's naked ass showing up all over the place.
Well, that's not true. I cared. mm... yep.
I often go braless because I'm just a 36B. Like right now...Gathering braless...ah, such freedom.
Btw, flaunt what you've got Dani. Because "they're real and they're fantastic!"
I think Janet's display was tactless, personally. I don't know if it was "the biggest scandal" ever, but given the forum and the aforementioned societal view in America on women's upper body nudity, she should have stayed covered.
This is so interesting, J. Especially with the cultural expectations thrust upon us as women in today's society. Props to your mom for allowing you a few moments of freedom before those constraints were wholly thrust upon you. I actually just posted a discussion on Gloria Steinem. Would you like to comment on it? I'm sure your input would add a lot. Here's a link. Thanks so much!
J. - you said something pretty interesting about breasts being treated as "an extension of our genetalia." That kind of resonated with me...what's wrong with genetalia? I don't think you actually meant your comment this way, but it almost suggested that breasts are fine, breasts are breezy, breasts are nothing to fear. Genetalia, on the other hand -- there's the menace that should remain locked up!
We do have a wierd body-hysteria. It isn't just the US either. It seems as if all different cultures either fear or fetishize the body in their own way.
Really? Women are allowed to go topless in New York? How interesting. Great perspective, Adam. I actually just posted a discussion about relating to feminism, and your input would add a lot to the discussion, I'm sure. It's very interesting to see your perspective on the sexes' physicality. Anyway, here's the link if you'd like to comment. It's much appreciated!
I think the big deal about breasts is that people instinctively want to grab them - it's not as much the case with genitalia. I think people see genitalia, and they get squicked right out - they see breasts, they think "ooh, squishy - must touch!"
No, I didn't mean what I said above as genetalia being "wrong" ... just that there's the expectation that it will be covered in our culture as the norm --not like other cultures that seem more free with female upper body exposure. I don't know of any cultures that are okay with lower body exposure -- not that they don't exist, because I don't pretend to be an expert. I guess what I meant to say is where our culture may be more free with upper body nudity than lower body, we still tend to like to see them both "locked up" where they "should" be.
Actually, female breasts don't seem to be the problem ... it's just when the nipples are exposed does the outrage begin....hmmm....
A few weeks ago, it was a billion degrees outside and I decided to drive to where I was going in my bathing suit top because I don't have air conditioning. As a result, I got stared at, gawked at and followed by a number of overly enthusiastic men. What the hell? I didn't even have my tits out. I don't even have great tits, but no, there's a girl in her bathing suit top driving, lets stare at her like she wants to hook up with us.
It's about reason #7894798 that Europe is a lot better than us. When I went to Sweden last year, I was the only girl that DIDN'T take off her top and I looked like a prude because of it.
my sentiment exactly.
It's what's happening
That's pretty interesting. Thanks for letting me know.
I don't really feel it's about boobies - it's about fairness. It's simply not fair that men get to walk around shirtless and women can't.
Self Censorship - a suggestion
I for one see it as respect to cover oneself and on the other hand...there is art. which some of these never seem to distingish one from the other because their prehistoric minds don't work that way of course we go to the bare chest of men and women drool there you have prehistoric women as well..drooling:)
IF Breasts were okay like in other cultures in the amazon then okay but here manners are and respect runs high yet the few who are ignorant well thats another story:) No offense meant to you by my comment:) Just an opinion:)
~ First, there are PLENTY of men with "sagging boobs or whatever" that don't feel it necessary to cover it up; if it were just a matter of "decency," these men would keep themselves covered;
~ Second, it's simply arrogant to state that cultures that don't have such stringent rules about covering up feminine torsos are disrespectful, ignorant and lack manners (which is what your comment is clearly implying). There are many cultures that have been around for centuries that haven't had the ridiculous hangups Americans have about the nude female form; in fact, there are nude beaches in several European countries, where it's expected that you'll take off your clothes, whether you're female or male, and the naked body just isn't such a thing.
Yes you have your opinion, and I respect that completely; but please don't be so arrogant as to assume that your opinion is the only acceptable one and that people who don't share it are somehow deviants; just as I won't assume mine is the only one and those who don't share it are puritanical prudes.
Thanks very much for the comments. It's always especially annoying for me to hear the "common decency" argument; not that I regularly walk around naked (at least, not in public), but I get twitchy when people tell me that I'm somehow obligated to because that's just how society is.
Thanks for pointing me to the Body Part Stories group; I'll be sure to check it out when I have some more time.
I'm right there with you, which is why I made the comment in the first place :)
I totally agree. You can bare your breasts around me any time you'd like. Unless my wife's there. In which case, I have to go somewhere else.
Seriously, the main function of breasts are to feed children, yes? They are attractants to men because we're somewhat hardwired to want to be with a woman who can feed our offspring.
For everything else that we do for our kids, why is it only the breast is taboo? It must be a male-imposed thing, because I can't imagine women wanting to cover up if they didn't need to (which is to say, they can cover up if they want to, but no one should make them).
I think that all of this abundant concern about covering up the chest area has more to do with guilt about sexual feelings than about indecency.
I agree with your point and have lived in Europe where they are much more open about toplessness (beaches and elsewhere). The men are also less focused on exposed breasts. However, Eric is right, men are attracted to breasts sexually (probably has something to do with procreating the species) and of course, keeping them forbidden makes them more desireable.
Everyone, after the first hour, worked just fine with it, and we laid a roof in normal time.
It is mostly the attitude of people that make it so bad, but I really don't see the issue. After all they are just modified parts of the body, modified for child care.
Great post, Dani. I found it very entertaining, and it's also, obviously, very illuminating and sparks a lot of discussion. I remember going around as a child with no shirt on, and eventually it becoming something that wasn't allowed. You're right, it is freeing to a certain extent, and constricting when it's taken away. I actually posted a discussion relating to feminism, focusing on Gloria Steinem, and if you'd like, I'd love your input into the discussion. I'm sure it would add a lot! Here's the link. Thanks so much!