Single's Dance - Oh No!

Say it isn't so!

Here I am at 56 and I'm going to my first single's dance Saturday night! Now that's a scary thought. How will I handle this? What is expected of me at this age? Have I still got a few ounces of good looks left? Should I wear my hair up or down? Should I dress conservative or with a little flair?

Well,  at least I have plenty to talk about with just about anyone. As a former journalist, I am quite used to conversations with strangers, so that won't be difficult for me. I am a very good listener too - another asset of an effective journalist.

It will be a karaoke (never could spell that!) night, so there will be people to watch and music (hopefully, not too painful!) to listen to.l

However, I am in a bit of a panic. I know there will be plenty of younger folks there, as it is a Plenty Of Fish event. Boomers, a bar in east Hamilton, will be completely taken over for the night by people "fishing" for partners. I think it best that I establish a few ground rules, before I even step foot outside the door.

1) If I meet a man who can't stop talking about his ex, walk away.

2) If I meet a man who can't stop talking about himself, walk away.

3) If I meet a man, who can't say a proper English sentence without profanity, walk away.

4) If I meet a man with hair in his nose, walk away.

5) If I meet a man, who at 50-something still lives with his mother, walk away.

6) If I meet a man who clearly wants a bed mate, walk away.

7) If I meet a man who looks like a member of Hell's Angels, walk away.

8) If I meet a man who drinks way too fast, walk away.

9) If I meet a man who thinks he's funny, but he's NOT, walk away.

10) If I meet a man who thinks he's God's gift to women, walk away.

Hmmm... I could go on, but I'll spare you. I think that pretty much narrows the field for me.

Wish me luck!