Remember the days of streakers? Some guy would take his clothes off at a football game and streak across the field while the fans stared in astonishment. I thought those days were over, but I guess not.
My husband called to me today and told me to come out on the porch. I stepped out the door and he pointed up the street along the side of our house. On the top of the hill, a woman about 55 to 60 was methodically removing her clothes, folding them and putting them in the little cart that she takes everywhere with her. You know the kind - the ones that people take to the grocery store or laundromat. Her little Pekinese dog stood and watched her with interest.
This woman has been camping out in the woods in the park across the street from our house. I figured she was homeless and had no where to go, so didn't think much of it. One night she started a bonfire and the fire department was called. They put it out, warning her that if she started another fire, she would be hauled off to jail because its against the law to have a fire within the city limits. I've never seen another fire since, even though some of the nights are pretty chilly. My opinion is that she was just trying to keep warm.
Anyway, some of the people in our neighborhood don't like her camping in the woods. They're afraid it will put a blemish on our community and their property values will drop.
Back to the story. My husband and I watched in astonishment while she put all of her clothes except her underwear in the cart. She took off her bra, but kept her bottom covered. Then, she proceeded to come down the hill, cross the street and walk across the park toward her camping spot.
It wasn't long until three police cruisers slowly crept along the street, the officers looking up the hill and in the park. They circled for about a half hour or so and then left. They couldn't find the woman.
A couple of hours later, there she goes again. I saw her from my computer room window. She came down the sidewalk in front of the park and continued down the street to a gravel walkway that goes into the park a block down from us. It wasn't long until the police cruisers were back. They spent a little longer looking for her this time and two officers actually got out of their car. They asked several neighbors if they had seen the woman and if so, where she had gone. After about three quarters of an hour, the police left, still not finding the woman.
Tonight, that same woman was still wandering around naked, except for her panties. I would have taken a picture to show you but you wouldn't have wanted to see it. She waved to my neighbor as she moved down the street. His eyes bugged out and we thought he was going to have a heart attack. We laughed ourselves silly. The elderly woman that lives across from us was disgusted. She shook her head and told us that the woman must be nuts. She couldn't figure out why she would want to run the streets naked. And besides that, she said that the woman should be embarrassed because her breasts were sagging. Our neighbor is 86 years old. My husband and I came home and had a good laugh about that one.
That was the last time we saw the streaker. Instead of taking off all her clothes and running, she just took them off, folded them neatly, put them in her little cart and pranced around the neighborhood shocking everyone. I thought it was funny.
I'm not sure what the police were going to do. Bare breasts are legal in Ontario and so they couldn't arrest her for baring her ample, sagging bosom. Maybe they were just going to talk to her and try to coax her to put her clothes back on. Maybe they thought she needed professional help. Who knows, but I've branded this woman as a new breed - the 21st Century Streaker. Not a running, naked person, but someone who takes off their clothes and saunters along, enjoying life in much the same way as she came into this world.