Fireside 7: Fresh Air

Fireside 7: Fresh Air

Good grief, it's you!  I though I'd seen the last of you.  You haven't been here in ages.  I wondered who on earth, or from beyond the grave, could be ringing the door bell so timidly on such a foul winter's night.  Usually the ghosts just come right on in.  Yes, ghosts!  Mind you, the odd one does ring the bell.  The very odd one!  Ha, ha, ha!  Well, don't just stand there shivering, come inside.  No, there aren't any spooks – not yet, anyway.  They'll come later when we raise the dead.  No, not you and me!  Unless, of course, you want to help Alfonso.  He's taken up voodoo, and at the moment he's in the cellar setting up his drums.  You'll hear them in a minute.  And that's when the fun starts!  Oh, lordly, you haven't seen anything like it even in your wildest nightmares.

Do I have a mobile phone?  Got one here right in my coat pocket.  Yes, I always wear trench coats – it helps keeps the undead in line.  But on nights like this, I always carry the phone.  In case Luigi needs a hand.  Yes, Luigi's the werewolf.  He calls in the dead of night with the weirdest of requests – just like you.  No, Luigi isn't here at the moment.  He met this real fox and they're probably howling around her neighbourhood.  It's between here and your place.  But do come inside, you're wet all through.

Oh, you get claustrophobic, do you?  You need the nice fresh air?  Yes, of course you can use my phone!  Here it is.  Your teeth are chattering.  What's that?  Oh, you said tow truck!  I thought you said something rude.  You need to get your car towed, do you?  But I'd better shut up while you're on the phone.  Hmm.

You're lucky that the truck is coming straight away.  You'll walk back to the damned car just down the road?  Yes, those are the voodoo drums you hear.  Alfonso is warming up – he really gets into it.  He reckons that if we had a sacrifice we'd do more than raise the dead from the grave.  The Devil himself would be dancing in the cellar.

Walk, don't run!  The driveway's slippery!  Oh, dear, face down in the puddle.  Good, no harm done.  Up and running again.  Oh, slipped again!  I don't know, some people never learn.

See also

Fireside 6: Soup