Jayne's Ghetto Sangria

First, take a lemon that you hope is still ripe. Cut off the icky brown spot on it. Squeeze all lemon juice possible out into a tupperware bowl using your hands. (Ghetto points 1 and 2, having no juice squeeze thing and having no pitchers.) Strain out seeds with a spoon (that's right, no strainers for you). Pour in OJ, make it equal and then add a little more since you know you didn't have enough lemon juice. Now, to open the bottle without a cork screw, use a screw, a pair of pliers and a screw driver only after jamming it in farther while trying to use a knife. Do not use your teeth, it doesn't work. Pour in wine until it looks like enough, add lots of sugar. Just guess. Taste it. Add more Oj, more wine or more suger until it seems kind of right, add cloves and cinamon. Taste again, realize you should have some apple juice, and all though you don't have any, you do have apple sauce. Use two scoops of apple sauce, stir. Add a pretty strawberry cut up with a spoon so it doesn't look so ghetto. Mix well, chill. Also, take a few spoonfulls of sangria and add it to applesauce. Yummy, good applesauce. While it chills, prey since you really don't know about that lemon. To serve, spill it all over the place while trying to get it from the tupperware bowl into 7-11 cups.