Grounded Hog's Day

Imagine if you will being forced to stay in the house all the time. The only time you are permitted to leave is when a rude large brute of a man pulls you out of your house to show to a bunch of people. He doesn't even let you speak for yourself, but instead says what your opinions are before you can open your mouth. Now imagine if you will a different world, a world where groundhogs can run free around Punxsutawney, Pensylvania. Free to scamper in the brushes free to interact with woodchucks, free. A good friend of mine made a trip to Punxsutawney last year, during this trip she inadvertantly walked into a room inhabited by Punxsutawney Phil and his "better half" Mr. Bill Cooper. They were having an argument and without him realizing that my friend entered the room, Mr. Cooper was quoted as saying, "Listen you little furry bitch, I said you'll see your shadow and that's it. One more word about it and I'll beat you so bad that the television vewiers will question if you're a really a groundhog or just a lousy wood chuck." This abuse has gone on long enough!

I say boycott this abusive holiday, show Mr. Cooper that we aren't going to support his sadistic torture anymore.  With your support, we can make the world safer for ground hogs everywhere.