Who gets to say "When"? When is enough, enough? Personally, I want to make that choice for myself. I do not have any desire to have my life held in the balance by anyone other than myself.
What about Granny? Can Granny think clearly enough to let her wishes be known, should she become so incapacitated that such life giving or taking decisions must be made?
Now, is the time to think about it, and to talk with Granny about it. Just for a moment. It won't take long, and I know it will not be pleasant, so bear with me, if you will.
No one wants to think of death, either their own, or a loved one's. If the fates allow, death comes swiftly, painlessly, and late. However, fate is cruel, and death does not come easily to many.
For this reason, I have chosen to speak this week of the importance of Living Wills and Durable Powers of Attorneys(DPOA) for Healthcare.
Living Wills
A living will is a legal document that informs your family, and the medical community of what your wishes are, in terms of life support, should you become irreversibly incapacitated. A Living Will spells out whether a person desires life sustaining treatment. It spells out, how much is too much? This includes, CardioPulmonary Resuscitation, Ventilators, Defibrillation, Tube Feedings etc.
A Living will enables your doctors to do only what YOU want, leaving these horrible decisions from being made by anyone else, but YOU. This paper, signed and notarized, tells everyone exactly what you desire, under which circumstance you desire it and, when enough is enough.
Living will documents are available at your doctor's office, some libraries, hospitals and online at
http://www.legacywriter.com/LivingWill.asp?src=yllivingwill.
Many hospitals now require the form be completed prior to even the most minor surgeries, just in case the unthinkable happens.
DPOA
A Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare (DPOA) is also a legal document, preferrably prepared by an attorney. This document states whom you wish to make decisions for you, when you can no longer make them for yourself. A DPOA is used frequently in the Nursing home setting, more than Living Wills, due to the many patients with Dementia, who cannot make sound decisions.
When choosing a DPOA, it is vital that someone is chosen who will carry out YOUR wishes, not their own. A DPOA does not necessarily have to be a family member. It can be anyone, a trusted friend, your actual attorney, your spiritual advisor.
A DPOA will make life saving or live terminating decisions on your behalf.
Think about this choice long and hard. Do not name your daughter, if your daughter will be so caught up in the grief of the moment, to even think about letting you go, if machines can keep your heart beating or your lungs pumping for a little while longer.
I have seen it innumerable times. Someone's eighty three year old Granny has a life threatening illness, irreversible, yet loving family insists that everything medically available be done to" save" her. Stick Intravenous lines into her poor, shriveled up little arms to hydrate her.. Insert a catheter into her bladder. She can no longer swallow, so place a feeding tube into her stomach. She cannot breathe , so place her on a ventilator to breathe for her. In other words, make her suffer a little while longer, because her daughter (husband, son, mother, father) cannot deal with losing her yet.
DPOA forms may also be downloaded at the above link.
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Comments: 11
Having gone through this with my wife's mother, it is important to point out that even after a living will is drawn up and signed, there is no guarntee it will be understood by those who care for granny or grandpa.
It is very important that any family members with power of attourney be readily available to clear things up when they get muddy, and they will get muddy.
Keep up the great work Donna!