Fireside 4: Roast

Fireside 4: Roast

Hello, do come in!  I just knew you'd drop by, round about just now.  Is that the smell of roast beef and all the trimmings for a cold night?  You're pulling my leg!  Oh, you're not!  Well, it's most certainly not roast beef, but there are trimmings.  Not chicken? Ah, how astute!  You're right, it's not chicken!  You'd bet your life it's turkey?  Hmmm, would you really?  How very interesting!  You're very, very close.

Tell me, have you seen the movie, The Silence of the Lambs?  Yes, that's right, about Dr Hannibal the cannibal.  Oh, I don't remember that part about the doctor slicing off bits of the guy's brain and frying it as he sat tied up.  All the while talking, were they?  It's amazing what words can do.  I wish I'd seen that bit!  I've had these strange cravings of late – just can't help myself.  So last night I went and saw Alfonso.  For the right price he'll get you anything.  And I mean anything – as long as you don't ask questions.  He works at the morgue – cleans up after all the autopsies.  But why should all that blood go to waste, I ask you?

You look a tad pale.  Where was I?  Oh, yes, I was telling you about all those bodies there for the asking.  Well, I ask you, why should those yummy kidneys and livers and brains go to waste?  Tell me that!  Oh, you can't?  Say, are you all right?  You look a bit green.  Perhaps you ought to come in and have a bite to eat.  What I've got sizzling in the oven right now might perk you up a bit.  You wouldn't believe what it is – but who's to know if I don't tell?  Alfonso won't – don't want any awkward questions at the morgue, do we?

Oh, I'm sorry you've got to go right now.  This very instant, you say?  The hospital visiting hours slipped your mind?  Oh, I'm sorry to hear your grandmother's dying.  I might pop in on her in the morgue.  Just kidding.  Ha, ha, ha!  Drive carefully, now.  Bye!

Better check that whole goose roasting in the oven.  It's a beauty.  Must remember to ask Alfonso to thank his brother, Luigi, at the poultry farm.  Though, really, Alfonso needs to be careful – if caught moonlighting for his brother while supposedly keeping an eye on things at the morgue, that could land him in trouble.  Might even lose his cushy job as night watchman.

See also:

Fireside 1: Wine /viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976756684

Fireside 2: Coffee /viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976756972

Fireside 3: Tomato Juice /viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976757219

(418 words of fun.)