Your Daily (More Or Less) Dose of Satire
June 2, 2006
Three separate research papers published in the June 1, 2006 issue of the journal Nature all indicate that 55 million years ago the Arctic enjoyed a median annual temperature of 74 degrees Fahrenheit – roughly the same as modern-day Florida. The findings came as a result of the analysis of biological and climatic samples from the floor of the Arctic Ocean.
Not mentioned in any of the papers was the simultaneous discovery of an elderly man and woman, encased in the ice and perfectly preserved. After they were revived, they identified themselves as Ira and Myrtle Zimmerman and gave their address as 255 North Pole Vista, Unit 7G.
The understandably confused and disoriented couple told medical personnel that 55 million years ago they had been on the way to the Really Old Country Buffet to get the Early Bird Special, when they were overtaken by an Ice Age.
Mr. and Mrs. Zimmerman were found sitting in an "incredibly vintage" Coupe de Ville with the left turn signal blinking.
Copyright © 2006, Michael Ball
June 2, 2006
Three separate research papers published in the June 1, 2006 issue of the journal Nature all indicate that 55 million years ago the Arctic enjoyed a median annual temperature of 74 degrees Fahrenheit – roughly the same as modern-day Florida. The findings came as a result of the analysis of biological and climatic samples from the floor of the Arctic Ocean.
Not mentioned in any of the papers was the simultaneous discovery of an elderly man and woman, encased in the ice and perfectly preserved. After they were revived, they identified themselves as Ira and Myrtle Zimmerman and gave their address as 255 North Pole Vista, Unit 7G.
The understandably confused and disoriented couple told medical personnel that 55 million years ago they had been on the way to the Really Old Country Buffet to get the Early Bird Special, when they were overtaken by an Ice Age.
Mr. and Mrs. Zimmerman were found sitting in an "incredibly vintage" Coupe de Ville with the left turn signal blinking.
Copyright © 2006, Michael Ball
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Comments: 12
This was great Mike...LMAO!!
I'm glad you liked it, Betty.
- mike
though what's it with people making fun of the pink and green....
And yes Dannielle, as far as I know that's exactly what they were wearing.
- mike
have you been to Florida lately?
I actually remember when Ira and Myrtle left town complaining that this place is no longer what it used to be. Some guy from N Y C bought their condo and turned into a fabulous loft.
he he.
Thanks for the smile.
Mark, I do get to Florida from time to time, and I'm sure you do know the Zimmermans - or at least their remote descendents. I understand the ones they found in the ice have been comfortably relocated to a two bedroom walk-out in Boca.
I don't know, Carl, it's kind of hard for me to visualize the Zimmermans in a Camero.
- mike