by gautami tripathy
Member since:
May 2, 2006

Asking Myself

June 01, 2006 02:26 PM EDT (Updated: June 01, 2006 02:28 PM EDT)
views: 31 | rating: 10/10 (3 votes) | comments: 15

For the past few months, I have been asking myself about life, my achievements, my failures and just about everything. Soul searching is a painful process. The whats/why/hows never get answered. Whirlwind of thoughts are not letting me find peace within myself.

Where will all lead I do not know. Will this feeling of inadequacy ever disappear?
As long I have faith, hope and belief this will all pass with time.

I have started to find myself creatively. Thats one positive step.
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Comments: 15

John Doyle Jun 1, 2006, 2:35pm EDT
If I may suggest, ask your self who it really is that asks the question. When you find the answer to that everything else will fall into its' proper place
Deborah W. Jun 1, 2006, 2:45pm EDT
Been there done that and still looking. Wonderful questions to ask.
Nancy S. Jun 1, 2006, 2:45pm EDT
I understand your frustration. I have struggled with this also. I think the fact that you are starting to express your creativity is a good thing, and it may lead you to a greater understanding of yourself. Perhaps you should try journal writing. When we write in a daily journal, trends start to appear. You may find that what you have always thought to be true is not, and maybe your path will change. Or you may find satisfaction in what you already have.
Martha Jette, Author/Editor Jun 1, 2006, 6:23pm EDT
Quatami: One step at a time is always the best. Mark: hahahah!
Madame Donna C. Jun 1, 2006, 7:37pm EDT
Gautami, I like John's comment. Ask yourself who is actually asking the question. I usually ask myself : "where did that idea originate?"
Mariana T. Jun 1, 2006, 10:31pm EDT
I know this may sound shallow but about what age are you? Hormones have a tendency to affect all of us...I wish you the best - just keep being creative - it will help you through onto the next evolution. Life is filled with steps...and windows closing, door opening...paths, forks in the road...enjoy it all...choose to be happy.
gautami tripathy Jun 2, 2006, 2:37am EDT
Thanks John! I think I will take one thing at a time! No doubt I will be ok! I always do!
gautami tripathy Jun 2, 2006, 2:40am EDT
Questions never end, do they Deborah?
gautami tripathy Jun 2, 2006, 2:45am EDT
Yes Nancy, I started blogging. Thats what has given me direction. Expression to my creativity. Being able to write does give one certain satisfaction. I am slowly emerging from my dark mood.

http://firmlyrooted.blogspot.com
gautami tripathy Jun 2, 2006, 2:50am EDT
Thanks Mark, Martha,Donna and Marianna, for your valuable inputs. I have already started to feel better!
Annina Anton Jun 2, 2006, 6:36pm EDT
Gautami, might I suggest that the unease you find now, may very well be because you are approaching a time when you will rise another step on the ladder of life and find answers, wisdom, balance, and understanding? It has been my experience that I go through all sorts of self-editing and unease before the windows of Heaven open and I see things in totally new perspectives, with never-imagined truths and realities before me. Then the process begins again.

Don't fret about the details...does a rosebud?
gautami tripathy Jun 3, 2006, 2:16pm EDT
Annina thanks, I know what you say is right. Better things are in store. Hence this dillemma. I will be better nd stronger person for it.
Bonnie L. Jun 5, 2006, 5:17pm EDT
A wonderful first step gautami, and I have been asking myself the same questions and exploring in the same way. Here we are two women across the ocean, on the same path of self-exploration - now that's Globalization!

And thank you Annina! I know you were responding to gautami, but I find such comfort in your comment!
gautami tripathy Jun 6, 2006, 12:45pm EDT
Yes bonnie, we may be world apart but the eternal search is same for all of us.

I have kind of accepted and on the verge of moving on.

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