Black blemishes oozing yellow slime harden on the hood and windshield of my economy car. If neglected, these ugly corpses will devour my car's metallic paint making its appearance plummet from pathetic to repulsive. It's happening now to other autos much more refined than mine. At area carwashes from Tallahassee to Islamorada the gooey Lexus suddenly has something in common with the encrusted Corolla. It's Love Bug season again.
Maybe you're already familiar with this bi-annual phenomenon. Plecia nearctica Hardy have been terrorizing the South since 1940. First discovered in Texas, this species recognizes no international border and has been migrating from Guatemala, Honduras, and Costa Rica for nearly seven decades. These copulating creatures appear anytime between late April and early June only to reappear in the Fall for another two weeks of shamelessly wanton behavior. The remaining 48 weeks finds Love Bug larvae feasting on the rotting remains of recently mowed grasses.
It's embarrassing. How do you explain their activity to an average kindergartner? I suppose you could say they're wrestling. Or you could explain how they like tickling each other and only travel in tandem. By age seven, even the worldliest second grader is mortified by Plecia's overt displays of amorous excess. By fifth grade, try to ignore your tween's efforts to pull the bugs apart while sneering, "get a room."
Love Bugs can't wait for a room. The average life span of the adult female is only 77 hours, while her male counterpart can live up to 92. Once they find each other and establish intimacy, their coupling will likely last 56 hours. Think about that! Who among you can claim that impressive fraction? Let me answer that. Nobody. Not one person. Not even you (and you know who you think you are).
The only natural enemy of the Love Bug seems to be the moving vehicle. Something about the combination of hot vibrating asphalt and fuel emissions is as alluring to these lovers as Jethro was to Miss Hathaway. The veritable orgies that currently cloud Florida's freeways would make Caligula blush. Teamsters and commuters can't evade or avoid penetrating the undulating hordes so copious that windshields must be cleaned every half hour. Broken wings, mangled thoraxes, and smelly viscera can add hours to a long commute.
Some people try to repel the Love Bug with plastic wind deflectors that they attach to the front of their hoods. Others protect their headlights and grill with mesh bras determined to keep the dead from accumulating in the radiator. I, like most, just curse and clean while swatting at the swarms of happy air born couples living the bug's life on the down low of nature.
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Comments: 44
James: Yup, the product is not its normal bargain. Some people coat their hood with vaseline. I don't know if thats a sound idea or not.
Donna: Happy you were informed, and hope you live the rest of your natural life without ever encountering THEM.
Cat: Over here on my wierd side of the nation, speed bumps are used for "traffic calming." Often they're announced by a road sign that warns motorists, "HUMP". Hope this gives you further insight into Florida.
Tony: Don't go getting all Kafka on us!
Loved that one!
Faith: Got to keep the top up sometimes.
Jake: It's all about the love.
Linda: Your friend will be safe at night--Love Bugs hide when it's dark
I'd actually forgotten about love bugs until this! I would wash mounds of dishes, mow acres of lawn....do ANYTHING not to have to wash the Volkswagen van during love bug season!!!! Eeeeeew! Their litle carcasses just STUCK to you!
And, as an aside, my mother told us that the love bugs were "carpooling" taking turns flying....
The durned thangs are such a nuisance whenever we go outside, and the cars really do seem to attract them...it's SPLAT-city 'round these parts on the Florida panhandle too!
PK
When I went to Chincoteague in 1999, I purchased a local pamphlet entitled "What's Eating You" so I could get familiar with the local insectae, and wondered if other localities have companion pamphlets. You could write the book for Florida and have a bestseller on the market, what with the incoming 500 and all.
My main addition to car decor is bird droppings, for which I own a copy of "What Bird Did That?" (ISBN 0898154278)
Prairie K: Picture the laundromat.
Dannielle: We also have spectacular bird droppings down here!
A 70's porno soundtrack playing as people read this.
www.pestproducts.com/chiggers
"Where Greenheads Come From: Greenhead flies are produced from our coastal marshes. ... Traps for Greenheads: Traps were developed originally to measure fly ..."
www.rci.rutgers.edu/~insects/greenheads
Perhaps the links above will enlighten you.
Thanks for stopping by and welcome to Gather.