by Mandi -Watch where the chalk-white arrows go. To the place where the sidewalk ends. S.S.
Member since:
January 24, 2006

Pick a Finger (Or I Don't Want to Join Your Damn Group)

May 25, 2006 10:24 AM EDT (Updated: May 25, 2006 01:04 PM EDT)
views: 353 | rating: 8.2/10 (26 votes) | comments: 75

When I joined Gather it was to write and meet other writers. When I discovered we could create groups I had an epiphany; creating groups, creates more writing ideas, which is a good thing. So I came up with groups that related to my life and things I am interested in, and people on Gather seemed to respond in kind.

Well now that I have created a dozen or so groups I am getting not so nice emails. Several people have asked me to stop creating groups and stop inviting them. Some chastised me for my way of inviting. For the record I only used regular email one time to invite to my groups. And that was only because I couldn't get the invite thingy to work on the group's page. I apologized for that.

I thought people wanted a reason to write… I thought people would appreciate ideas and inspiration; and besides no one is forcing anyone to join a group, just offering it.

So after a wonderful banter of emails back and forth with a certain crabby person, I created a group just for them. I hope you will all join ;-)

Dontwantagroup.gather.com

 (publish what ever you want. If it is a one finger salute to something even better)

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Comments: 75

lea and... c. May 25, 2006, 10:30am EDT
Mandy, this is cute...
Personally I like groups but I can only belong to the ones I feel I have time to respond, as you said based on interest.
Any way have fun, let's see what comes out of this!
X Tabber May 25, 2006, 10:34am EDT
Very funny. I personally don't care if I receive invites to groups (I'm flattered usually), but I've gotten the sense that some people are creating groups to point grub instead of to promote and grow the group.

I'm not sure how many groups a single person can manage and do "justice" to at one time. I've visited most of your groups, and I think you do a fine job. Most other grubby groups grate... LOL!
rochelle moore May 25, 2006, 10:39am EDT
I take some invites and others i just let go...
you know the story
however, you gave me a great laugh with this article
write on
thanks all

Eric, I think my groups do fine, because I have no rules and leave most of them alone and I only remove blantant non-group articles.
Susan Pattishall May 25, 2006, 10:48am EDT
This seems like a temporary group. It could be a good way to discuss how to stay comfortable with a group you're in and think you don't like. However, I joined to get exposure for good writing and I'm sure most of us agree they did this too. Gather is not really a good chatroom, although when it comes to grouping nothing is wrong with that. That is why it's very good to say if you don't want to be in a group, if the subject isn't adhered to enough for you or the subjects don't seem like professional ones, just go to your connections link, click, and start clicking remove. But some days I would really feel like 'cleaning house', so I wondered about this too and wondered how I would feel later. Face it, after you learn to get around on Gather, you can always ask to rejoin a group. Thanks for allowing me to express this thought, Mandi.
Bill's Spirit May 25, 2006, 10:48am EDT
"Pick a finger' .. is that like "peel my bananna" or "do I need to turn this up for you?" Too funny.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been curmudgeoned. I've only created one group, but joined thirty or forty. So, what the heck, what's one more on my list. Let's get crabby.
thanks susan and Bill's spirit!

susan wanna be the poster child for the group?
Susan Pattishall May 25, 2006, 10:51am EDT
No poster child here, but thank you. I also have one group and I am grateful for getting time to pay attention to it. How do you moderate all your groups?
susan you sure? you seem to have the right idea about all this ;-)

I leave my groups alone and have no rules. I only delete blatant non group articles... thats it.
Susan Pattishall May 25, 2006, 11:02am EDT
I happen to have to edit even my comments. Yes, I do. No, ideas should be enforced; but, if so, I'm probably on the lenient side.
Granny Janny H. May 25, 2006, 11:05am EDT
Dear Mandi,
Thanks for your invite to "Don't want to be in a group". I have always appreciated invitations. However, I am in several groups and like you, I like to be in a group. Therefore, I will not join this one.
Tuesday D. May 25, 2006, 11:08am EDT
I think with any group that you are involved in, internet or real life, there are always going to be "those people" who are just like you described. I don't entirely know the situation you have been involved in, but I understand what you are saying, and it was well said, and quite funny to say the least.

I've been invited to groups, and in the back of my mind I wondered why I (at the time) with two measly articles about wedding crap was invited to these groups.....hmmmm
Laura Serena aka AstroGirl May 25, 2006, 11:19am EDT
I don't want to be in a group with anyone who would have me as a member of a group for people who don't want to be in a group because I don't want to be in a group, especially one that would have me as a member.
Gina M May 25, 2006, 11:36am EDT
Mandi you're too funny.

Too bad you got flak. Personally, I kept the perspective that I would never discourage or disparage someone who has such enthusiasm, despite my lack of interst. I often hoped you didn't take offense at my failure to join most of your groups, but I have very little time to spend at Gather, and I can't even keep up with the few I am in.

Feel free to keep inviting me, because someday it might just be something I'd like to be in. :)

G.
Spencer Breau May 25, 2006, 11:53am EDT
This is the group for me. Thanks Mandi!
Cassandra Griffith May 25, 2006, 11:55am EDT
Mandi, This was a cute article. I am so sorry that you had to deal with a crabby patty. I think you are an excellent writter, and like others I am very flatered to get invites to groups. However since I enjoy the experience of getting invited I will not join this group, but the next one I am sure to jump aboard.
Keep on keeping on!!
thanks for all the support everyone ;-) whether you are joining my groups or not ;-)
Nancy S. May 25, 2006, 12:14pm EDT
Mandi: Do not let those people bother you. They are all taking the time to write and tell you they don't like hearing from you, so let them waste their time. I like groups, and I can choose or not choose to join.
Keep at it, girl!
thank you nancy.. I knew you liked me ;-)
John S. (arizona) May 25, 2006, 12:25pm EDT
Don't worry about it, a person can always block you if they don't want to hear from you. It's impossible, at least for me, to join every group I have been invited to. I think I have about ten pending, that I hope people won't take personal if I don't join. But it doesn't bother me a bit that I'm invited, and in fact think it is nice, besides an email is so easy to delete I don't get all the passion about it. I'm a pretty easy going guy, and life has too many other things to worry about.
damn skippy John.... I knew a John S... long ago...
Carol Voigts May 25, 2006, 12:57pm EDT
Pretty funny. I think i'll join, though what do I publish to this group?
what ever your heart desires ;-)
If you publish something that is a one finger salute to something or someone even better...
Aileen F. May 25, 2006, 1:43pm EDT
I finally got smart and started saying "no thanks" to the ones I thought I would never post to. I don't think that groups increase my readership at all!
Carl Neeld May 25, 2006, 2:01pm EDT
I don't understand the big deal. Join a group or don't. Start a group or forget about it. Too many groups? Delete some. Why complain tgo someonme else about decisions that you make? What am I missing here?
elise p May 25, 2006, 3:06pm EDT
mandi, i joined your new group before i read this post - thinking all the while... do i want to join a group for people who don't want to join groups when i really do want to join groups? oh what the heck! why not?
Nancy Baumiller May 25, 2006, 3:30pm EDT
hehe! I don't mind being invited to a group...if I didn't want to join I would simply give a polite "No Thank you! Which they had a choice and could of said that or just ignored the invite....maybe those grumpy sorts should start their own group with a title of " I am a grumpy camper and need an attitude adjustment can someone help me please!) LOL The best to ya girl!
NancyB
Betty Dobson May 25, 2006, 3:32pm EDT
I do have an outstanding invite from a group that has no obvious connection with anything I've written so far, but that would be no reason to get upset with the one who invited me. This is how Gather works. If I decide I don't like it, I can always leave. Thanks for posting such a humorous spin on the overall situation.
Darcy Altaville May 25, 2006, 4:23pm EDT
I have defiantely been in a one finger salute mood lately...so you can count me in! And as for your ideas, articles, etc. I salute you ( a four finger salute, that is! )
thanks everyone.... even the low ranker.. heres a finger for ya.
Linda Douglas May 25, 2006, 6:12pm EDT
You go girl!! I just don't understand folks who waste all there energy on something that they just have to delete and let go. I smell control issues and that usually means they are sitting in something. You just keep doing what makes you happy and let the sour pusses ruin their own day.
anna g. vanwinkle May 25, 2006, 6:26pm EDT
Personally, I keep waiting on someone to create a group for GERD sufferers, Clairol Blunders and ingrown toenails....any takers?? lol!!

Great post Mandi!
thanks everyone ;-)

Anna!! where you been?
anna g. vanwinkle May 25, 2006, 6:54pm EDT
In the words of the great wordsmith Ludolf:

Why you talk funny? lol

We are pcssing (coincidentally timed with pmsssing) so lately I've taken another contract (military spouses never know when our next job will happen so it was a 'make hay while..." deal for me. All the while working 60 hours a week, we've been raising cats/kittens for the rescue foster group - we're down to 13 from 35 - and generally going crazy. I'm leaving the hub with this entire move, the dog and the two cats that are ours....I've done three alone, I figured he can handle it. I'm going to go hide out in Alabama with my parents in 'sit down and let me tell you what your mother is doing now, and sit down and let me tell you what THAT man in there did to my trees" land. )Secretly though: my husband thinks I'm going to my parents, my parents think I'm staying here and I'm going to elope alone to Las Vegas, order in room service, keep the thermostat on 40 degrees, jump on beds, hang out in my pj's all day, and drop water balloons on the people in the street from my window....Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Anna, can I come??
Mike.... I am going to put a curse on you
Today's Illusion May 25, 2006, 8:43pm EDT
Ok dear Mandi, now I understand the why of all your group invites.
I read much more than I write, and I like to pick my readings from the unsorted, unrated, unpicked, mass.
Thank you for all the invites.
James s F. May 26, 2006, 2:31am EDT
I don't give folks a choice of which finger to pick, I just give the one I know they understand.
anna g. vanwinkle May 26, 2006, 9:03am EDT
why certainly. bring your own balloons.
California Yankee May 26, 2006, 9:21am EDT
Keep them coming.
I have converted Today's Illusion!!! WAIT! Did the world end???

James, I thought I'd give them a choice ;-)

Anna, see you there!

California Yankee, don't tempt me
Arielle K. May 26, 2006, 9:54am EDT
Here's the million dollar question: What's with all the crabby people on Gather lately? Not quite sure why people are getting so enraged over absolutely nothing. Personally I like groups. Sometimes I'll see an article and I'll respond and get my opinion out there and be inspired to write an article. Then people will respond to some of my comments in the WORST way! What's with that?!?!?! Don't they realize it's an opinion? So Mandi, screw the crabby patty's of Gather. I think you should and CAN create as many groups as you please. And don't forget to invite ME!
Cena W. May 26, 2006, 10:01am EDT
Well I feel guilty everytime I click No on a group invite, but I read more than I write. I had not considered that, the group name could provide ideas for writing. Good idea, I will still decline. I think I have to keep up with what is posted in my network, it just seems like such an obligation. I want to just wander around the posts and comment or not.
Evelyn M. S. May 26, 2006, 10:14am EDT
Hi-appreciate your thoughtfulness and wit-Obligation and responsibilities would seem up to the writers, choices. I get on line occassionly and do not always respond immediately to comments let alone joining groups -although, if it peaks my interest I don't mind reading or joining a group. I just came from testing at the sleep Disorder Clinic so my brain is still feeling wired-lol have a great day Mandi
Nancy Baumiller May 26, 2006, 10:16am EDT
With all that is going on I think this is a great place to vent hehehe....Hey Anna hand me some of those water balloons LOL
Diane Seacrest May 26, 2006, 12:56pm EDT
jee wiz you should see how myspace works. You get all kinds of group invites. Don't see how this would be different. If they don't wanna get invited then create a blog somewhere else. Here it is to make friends and write. Love ya mandi..... hehhehehehe
Jim Jonsen May 26, 2006, 5:25pm EDT
Astrogirl is silly! Funny post Mandi G.
thanks all ;-) you all rock
0000-twobraincells-0000 May 26, 2006, 7:12pm EDT
Not to be confused with the bizarre game of 'pull my finger' my father used to play with the children./
jessie voigts May 27, 2006, 12:29am EDT
astrogirl is the mojo-jojo of gather. love this, mandy!
Dan Merritt May 27, 2006, 8:34am EDT
Groups? Groups? We don't need no stinkin groups!. This gathering thing is too much fun. I can yoyo my blood pressure all up and down the scale. Let martin chill drive me nuts, read mcCullochs stuf or yours mandi for some in between, look at jessies pictures or read a little poetry here or there to mellow out, write something to get it out there............... And chuckle at all kinds of stuff.
Dan Merritt May 27, 2006, 8:36am EDT
58 comments! anybody know the record?
John S. (arizona) May 27, 2006, 9:32am EDT
I'm going to look for pictures of "The Finger" and publish to this group. It will be for all the people that need help getting a grip! The more fingers the better. Ha Ha
You're too cool Mandi...........
thanks all... I had almost 200 comments on an article on how people named their kids... and I know Johnny 5000's article was going through the roof.
Nathan Schauer May 27, 2006, 7:23pm EDT
Dont give up on your groups Mandi - although I haven't had time to join in many - I think you are providing a valuable service to gatherites. These groups are wonderful places to meet new people and find serious readers.
John Dice May 27, 2006, 9:47pm EDT
Mandi G.....
..................been checking a bunch of your stuff from the "one finger opera"
to..."saving money with the electric ......stuff".....and a few others that in my condition i can`t seem to remember too well.......ya make me smile...make me sad....make me borrowed and blue.......er anyway........thanks...
thanks all..

John, that is one of the nicest compliments.. it means I am a decent writer after all?
Dennis Fitzgerald May 28, 2006, 6:02pm EDT
Mandy you are so willing to try to please everyone.
xxxxxxx x. May 29, 2006, 11:29am EDT
Mandi- you see what you've done! Given us a platform for more laughs. You just do what you do best- forget the 'crap-apples' as I say in front of the children- or crabby a--holes, as I'll refer to them here-it's a free country, and I'm proud to be associated with someone like you who has the nerve to give the one finger salute in such a public place!

You go, woman! What a breath of fresh air honesty is!
thanks all ;-)

Dennis.. I don't think everyone is pleased.. but I don't care.
David C. Jun 3, 2006, 6:18am EDT
keep the groups coming as far as I'm concerned. when groups first came out I first interpreted invites as some special personalized request to join. once I got the hang of it that there were a lot of groups, I like hearing about the different groups and choosing which to join. I do wish there were a better way to organize the groups I'm in on my groups page, but that has nothing to do w your group invites!
Leah G. Jun 3, 2006, 8:19am EDT
It's weird, because sometimes I get a group invite (not from you) asking me to join a group about something like...dating. And I think to myself, man if I had to Gather about dating than my 12 year relationship sure would be an open one. I feel like folks that don't know me or don't take the time to know me invite me to groups that just don't match up!!

So that's where my frustration is these days. I hate to say no to folks...but come on...a married woman should not be telling tales of her dating life and her boyfriend/girlfriend if there was one on the side! *grin*
thanks david and leah ;-)
Alankrita P. Jun 3, 2006, 11:05am EDT
Thanks Mandi, i have only one group and I jsut invited a whole load of peole, so i will elarn not to get upset if this sort of reaction comes to me!
joel samuel Jun 3, 2006, 11:08pm EDT
Interesting isn't it?
" Can't we all just get along?"
Rodney King
Welcome to the party, enjoy your time.
You can take a persons money, but you can always give it back someway somehow, but when you take a persons time that is something that can never be replaced.
Happy Unbirthday and Best regards,
http://joelsamuel.neptune.com

aka the Madd Hatter
Leah Christensen Jun 4, 2006, 2:25am EDT
Good for you!

I can't believe the nerve of some people. If they don't want something they can ignore or delete it. Geez!

Thanks for writing this.
Jude Cowell Jun 6, 2006, 7:17pm EDT
Gathering into groups--someone should critique that.

You're funny, but I thought there was a tiny plea for help embedded in your message...t-hee...
thanks all.. help? No.
Laura G. Jun 7, 2006, 2:18pm EDT
Currently have 87 invites... haven't even openned that folder... I bleong to many... adn subscribe to some... But just don't have the time necessary... love the group option and find it awesome to be able to broaden your circle... thanks for the great article... and good luck with your new group!! ~L
elmo fudd Jun 8, 2006, 3:09am EDT
I call it the Groucho Marx group - I wouldn't join any group that would have me as a member.

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