Types of Barbies

This was emailed to me- Thought was so funny and that we could come up with a few other models to add to this!

**Southside Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with a Ford Expedition and matching Alaska Club workout ensemble. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, hunting, golfing, eating, and lusting for
other women. Available at Costco.

**Girdwood Barbie
This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but comes with 2 dogs. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker and a choice of a blue or green tarp. Available at REI.

**Hillside Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter dream house with a to-die-for view of the inlet. Also included are a Starbucks mug, credit card set, and Alaska Airlines Gold
MPV membership. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and boob-job. Workaholic, shallow, cheating husband Ken comes with a Porsche.

**Spenard Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawnshops.

**Government Hill Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, a classic Metallica t-shirt and a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Budweiser and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.

**Muldoon Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Government Hill Barbie's apartment. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.

**Mountain View Barbie
Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. Application and a completely filled out PFD form. Home boy - Gangsta Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Value Village.

**Downtown Barbie
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or removing snap-on parts. Walks to work. Likes to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased-out and is only available from the manufacturer.