In the Weekly World News (new and improved!)

I get my supermarket fix
near celebrity gossip pix
the woman on the cover is huge
she weighs 800 plus
and she can't fit on the bus
I read about it in the Weekly World News

Bat Boy's still at large
and the government's in charge
but they're still covering his tracks with subterfuge
now that Boy Bat is here
we've got nothing to fear
that's what they said right in the Weekly World News

space aliens are choosing who will be our president
predictions from the mouth of an Albanian infant
dear Dolly's gonna help you with the problems you relate
and astral sex with big celebs is better than a date

And the Weekly's own sage
Ed Anger is enraged
at all the pencil-necked milquetoast lib'ral views
and I know that he's right
cause it's in black and white
I read about it in the Weekly World News

©2006 Cynth Bage

Comments: 11

Molly Pockets May 21, 2006, 12:24pm EDT

I love it! The Weekly World News has been a secret love of mine for years. I can't help myself.
Did you know canned tuna is really made of mermaids?
It's true. I read it in WWN.

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Stephen Schneider May 21, 2006, 1:04pm EDT

and now we know

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Martha Jette, Author/Editor May 21, 2006, 3:31pm EDT

That's a riot Cynthia. Just remember that as a former media person, I can tell you it's best not to believe everything you read in the mainstream papers either. lol

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Carol Voigts May 21, 2006, 4:32pm EDT

Cynthia, I for one, have actually seen the two headed mermaid born to that movie star, that you read about in the WWN's last week.

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Carl, Prince of Prose, Villain of Verse May 21, 2006, 5:31pm EDT

Great stuff!

That "Bat Boy" is one of my favorites.

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Cynthia B. May 21, 2006, 7:31pm EDT

And I can live with the less than 10-point rating. Someone must have been busy here.

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Carl, Prince of Prose, Villain of Verse May 21, 2006, 7:45pm EDT

I just put a 10 in. You should be a bit higher than 9.5 now.

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Cynthia B. May 21, 2006, 7:59pm EDT

Thanks, but only if you think it merits such a rating. Don't do anything nice just to make nice. (Which in your case, Carl, I don't think you would do such a thing.)

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Peg (Mistress of the Obvious) S. May 22, 2006, 9:14am EDT

A ten for giving Bat Boy some much-needed PR. I hear he loves publicity in whatever form it happens. Also heard thru the grapevine (OK it was squeezed between the lines, like so many secret messages are, in last week's WWW) that Ed Anger has multiple aliases on Gather. Bat Boy would, as well, if he could sit still long enough.

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Cynthia B. May 22, 2006, 12:04pm EDT

I invite Ed and his anger to join the parody group under as many aliases aa he would like. He is always welcome to vent his spleen. The same goes for Dotti and Serina as well. ;-)

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Cynthia B. Feb 13, 2007, 12:38pm EST

FYI, I just created an mp3 file for this song that I posted on my MySpace Music page. It did not take long to write the music once I committed myself to the effort. Sorry it took so long to get around to it (or even a round tuit).

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