because of my disabilities, especially the neurological ones, i have a hard time with expending energy and living within my envelope. i have to be really careful in what i choose to do, in order to not get sicker. this week, i have had a difficult time with my health. it hasn't been easy, and lots of time was spent in bed, trying to rest.
one phone call a day is about my limit for energy expenditure, because lillie takes so much of my energy. so whenever i am on the phone, i am joyful to be spending time with my friends and family. this is truly a hard-earned treat for me, and i cherish the time spent conversing and catching up.
this week, i was lucky enough to talk with my brother in seattle and catch up. lovely!! we're only four years apart, and i am always glad to talk together. when we visited him, last month, i was so happy. yes, he makes me happy. isn't that the best?
yesterday, my old friend rachel (hi, rachel!) called, and it was so wonderful to catch up with her. every time we talk, i am energized by her humor and compassion. we met over 10 years ago in a stats class (bleah) at the university of minnesota. she's the only good thing that came out of that class for me (besides passing that requirement, of course)! i don't know any phd programs that don't make you suffer through stats, and we did. it's over, and we've been great friends since then. she was in our wedding, and has always been supportive. when lillie was born, she and jay came up, an hour north of the cities to our home, with a movie and a prepared dinner!! and - she held lillie and even kissed her toes. glorious. what a friend. when we were packing to move back to michigan, she came up and held lillie while i packed the never-ending boxes. and she's come to visit, in michigan. what a true friend. it is a joy to talk with and be with her.
and then today, i was on the phone with a new gather friend...yes, our very own candida! yahoo!! gathering, gathering...the gather team had no idea when they started, how truly life-changing gather would be. truly, a beatific babe. we spent 77 minutes on the phone (so my phone told me, actually 77 min and 45 seconds) and it went by So Quickly. i feel elated to actually talk with someone that i've connected with on gather, and we clicked. we talked about life, homeschooling, pain, disabilities, our friends, kids, etc...truly, truly, worth every second of energy. and next week, i have another call scheduled with chris bell, depending on my energy. how lucky am i?? yes, all these wonderful gather friends - emailing, honoring and respecting, sympathizing, sharing, hugging, and commenting with each other, and occasionally, reaching out and talking. an incredible gift.
today, i sent out a whole passel of cards. 7 get well cards - 3 of them heart surgery. 2 sympathy cards. 2 congrats cards. and one thank you card. how lucky i am, to be able to care about so many people. i love mailing cards. no one expects to get snail mail any more. it is a nice thing, to be able to reach out. plus, it is very handicap accessible to me - i can do it on my own time, at my own pace. i don't have to think fast and reply. it makes me happy, to have lillie put the stamp on (that's her job), and we walk out to the mailbox and put the letters in. another one of lillie's jobs is to put up the red flag. she loves that red flag. such fun.
i've spent a lot of time playing with lillie - i mean, princess sea. that is my day - being with her. the never-ending puppet shows, the talent shows (mostly her jumping up and down on the bed, artistically), the reading and art and cooking and playing outside. it makes me tired. yes. but worth it, as family things are. they are always adapted - most take place in bed, where i can lie down and rest. tonight, we had more fancy lessons. princess sea loveloveloves to give fancy lessons. today, we learned how to draw fancy (curly lines, instead of straight ones), and we dug through my jewelry box from high school. oh my, the big '80s earrings. yikes! but lots of necklaces and pins for the princess to don. and then, best of all in the fancy lessons, lessons on how to stand and bow and look cute. here are some shots from our fancy class:
whenever i feel housebound by my disabilities, i am lucky enough to be able to reach out and have friends there for me. sometimes it makes me sicker (well, almost all the time), but i count that well-worth it, in the friendship and joy i receive. aren't we lucky??
copyright 2006, jessica voigts
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Comments: 33
Your Lillie is adorable! You must teach her to wave like the Queen.
Rachel
thanks for all your lovely comments. yes, in spite of awful health, we have a wonderful life. and people - including all of you! - are part of that wonderful life. thank you!!
lillie knows she has lots of gather aunties. she recognizes the faces, all of them smiling gorgeous beatific women. it started with auntie gisela and has grown from there. thank you all, for loving her!
Hey, I dropped out of a stats class once so I totally get the "bleah" comment. I just couldn't deal with it. Yuck. Cost me an econ minor but such is life.
Say hi to lillie for me...
jake - my BA was int'l econ. you'd think i would have been prepared...haha
carl - you're lillie's biggest picture fan. thanks!
linda - done deal!
KR - you crack me up! are you accepting apps??
mandy - i fear i will never be a fancy. sigh. i could care less, that is the problem!! haha.
liz - i'll TAKE IT! lillie i mean princess sea will love her outing with auntie liz! perfect!! sometimes she's so cute - she'll say, oh mama, i'll rub your back. 2 seconds later, she's done. or, she'll say, oh mama, your foot hurts. i'll put some water on it and it'll be all better. what a loving girl!
beryl - thank you! well, there's a lot of down time no one sees!!
stephen - thanks! she's so much fun. :)
you are going to be so GLAD you took all these wonderful photos of Lillie... make albums now, so you are trying to catch up when she is 18, like I am now.