You...in my pupil

Comments: 22

Dolphi D. May 12, 2006, 5:11am EDT

Slowly, hesitantly but surely you are unfolding your poetic talents, Manoj. The symmetry of the structure is very noticeable.

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Harold Lorin May 12, 2006, 5:28am EDT

This is lovely, full of image and passion. Perhaps sometimes the rhyme trumps the rhythm?

HL

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Magi the magical poet is riding the wind again May 12, 2006, 5:28am EDT

Manoj, this is an interesting merging of the abstract and specific imagery. I like the blend.

Magi

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manoj sanyal May 12, 2006, 5:51am EDT

Thanks Dolphi D.
Yes... like a toddler in this poetic world of greats!

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manoj sanyal May 12, 2006, 5:53am EDT

Thanks dear Harold for appreciation.
Just wrote as I felt.
Take care

manoj

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manoj sanyal May 12, 2006, 5:55am EDT

Thanks Magi ... happy you liked.
Best wishes
manoj

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Mandi -Watch where the chalk-white arrows go. To the place where the sidewalk ends. S.S. May 12, 2006, 10:32am EDT

thats different... very nice!

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Christopher C. May 12, 2006, 11:08am EDT

Manoj., Loved the style and flow, what would "keep" do instead of "peep" something to ponder? I feel a purple haze of embracing petal-touching-flowering throughout this poem. Very lovely!

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Cheryl W. May 12, 2006, 12:19pm EDT

This was very beautiful. I loved the words...the imagery.

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manoj sanyal May 12, 2006, 12:53pm EDT

Thanks dear Mandy,Liz and Cheryl for appreciation. I am happy that you all liked this love poem.

Dear Christofer,
'Keep' may not be proper ... meaning would change.

What about 'sweep'?

Thanks again.

manoj

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Rajendra Pradhan May 13, 2006, 1:40am EDT

Reading the title, initially I thought of pupil as in student. But then was pleasantly surprised. Lyrical indeed!

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manoj sanyal May 13, 2006, 1:51am EDT

Thanks Rajendra for appreciation.
Hope, you would post some of your musings in my groups 'Poetic expressions' and 'Rhyming corner'
Have nice time.

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sheryl r. May 13, 2006, 5:42am EDT

I,too thought of a student,but was quite plesased to see that you meant the eyes. great poetry.

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manoj sanyal May 13, 2006, 9:19am EDT

Thanks sheryl for reading and commenting.

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0000-erniezarraphd-0000 May 13, 2006, 10:50am EDT

Manoj, I am contemplating the wondrous dualisms, such as "love essence," "fragrant ambiance," "future peep," and "pebbly abyss." Superb usage of wording to convey the depths experienced . . . the "lastingness." MORE PLEASE!

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manoj sanyal May 13, 2006, 1:04pm EDT

Thanks dear Ernie for your beautiful comment and appreciation.
Take care and have wonderful times.

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Nathan Schauer May 14, 2006, 7:36pm EDT

The line breaks really are well done here and create a sense that the poem is about to slip off the page. Interesting texture in this work - if poems have texture - this one is silk.

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