Engrossed in the melody
of scintillating musical tune,
my inner soul rhythmic
is in tranquil harmony.
The nodes of life,
being played by the strings
of events and happenings,
echo my passions and ecstasy.
Epic and lyrical tones
devoid of any uncertainties,
balanced with concern and trust,
reverberate as my companion.
You are the instrument,
my musical love,
and with your touch and care
my mood changes to completeness.
Let us play together
with accomplishment
as partners of togetherness;
we are one.
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Comments: 22
Since the theme is musical ... the word 'nodes' has been used. .. 'notes' would be wrong.
Peep.. generally means look through hole. I used the word ... meaning 'look through'. I agree, some better words can be used ... but I am not getting it.
I may change after some advise from fellow writers.
Sincere thanks for your comments.
I am changing the verb 'peep' with 'reverberate' ... I presume this would be better.
I am changing to ... in tranquil harmony.
I would still prefer to keep 'nodes'.
Constructive criticism ... always I accept.
I believe ' learning has no end'.
Thank you for suggestions.
Have nice time.
Your poetry sings joyfully of oneness celebrated.
being played by the strings
of events and happenings,
echo my passions and ecstasy.
This is an interesting stanza, the idea of nodes here used in an unorthodox but fascinating way. Heather has a good point. I wonder if further development of the image you have in mind will make this clearer to the reader. Nice work with an interesting analogy.
Best wishes
Have nice time.
It is a great honor for me for my poem to be featured in "Lifestyle" group.
You made me proud and very happy.
Thanks from the core of my heart.
Sing sweet songs and enjoy!
manoj
Surely, I shall relook into.
Best wishes
A musician has liked the poem ... that is immense pleasure to me.
Thank you.
Take care and have nice time.