This Dance (Torch Song Lyrics)

Be still my thumping heart! Wow! This is magnificent. I am sitting in a smoky cabaret as the singer smiles her secret smile in response to the applause. Well done.

I agree with Candida that songs don't have to rhyme, but I like much of what you have done here. There is an interesting and repeated rhythm essential to a good song. And rhyme never hurts in creating a great hook. For example, "i hesitate" echoes and reinforces "have sealed our fate" so nicely.

There is one line, though, where a word choice seems more related to the need to rhyme than to meaning. It may just be me, buy I don't quite understand the lines, "All the poets and dreamers
Lovers and schemers
All speak of more than circumstance" Maybe consider this alternative: "All speak of only one true chance."

It's a thought and you are perfectly justified in tossing it in the wastebin. I look forward to future songs from you.

I chose to rhyme with "circumstance" because I hate to repeat rhyming words. To me, there's nothing more boring than a song that keeps using the same words to rhyme...only a really hot band can get away with that sort of thing, because you've got the infectious energy of the crowd and band working towards that moment where everyone has a good time.

In this genre, I know that clever rhymes that push the envelope can make the lyrics go past the levels of mediocre, good, great and classic on to legendary. I know it sounds like an ego trip, but I would like to leave some sort of legacy for the future of music through my lyrics. I never used to feel that way before, but it seems I really do have some talent for writing lyrics.

No one knows what future awaits any of us. It just would be kinda nice to not end up forgotten once I'm eventually gone from this world. I think that's what is motivating all of us to create what we do best.