Building A Bridge

The environment of the visiting area in prisons varies depending upon the security level; the differences may be contact vs. non-contact, the number of visitors allowed, dress attire, length of visiting period, or the weekly allotment of visits. Regardless of the varying restrictions, men and women schedule this special moment in advance. It's reminiscent of preparing for church services or a date with a significant partner.

During the initial phase of the prison sentence, family members and friends are regular visitors and companions. Communications through letters, phone calls, and visits are significant routes of interaction between convicted felons and their loved ones. After the dust of crisis has settled, however, letters become irregular, collect phone calls are accepted less, and visitors arrive only on major holidays.

Mothers and children are regular travelers, whether by car, bus, train, cab, or feet, and provide incentive for other family members to maintain connections through barbed wire. It is a rarity for fathers to visit their sons in prison. Often, father–son relationships, already fragile, become even more fractured after the criminal trial and subsequent lengthy prison sentence. Shame, guilt, embarrassment, and helplessness are feelings that contribute to the distance between father and son, as well as with other family relationships.

Can you imagine a young man being released after 15 years of prison life with nobody waiting at the prison gate to hug him? It happens: Many prisoners complete their entire sentence without a significant, healthy relationship with an outside community member. From the moment of arrest, he is removed from society and any remnant of his prior existence in the neighborhood fades away — without a trace! Dept. of Correction statistics reveal family relationships and support networks are crucial to the successful transition from cellblock to city block. However, there is very little program activity geared towards building family ties during the incarceration period even though prisoners tend to be more productive and less problematic when receiving regular visits and social contact with the community.

A certain percentage of prisoners will never experience the joy of another person traveling a distance to the institution in search of their companionship. The great majority of incarcerated felons will not feel the loving embrace of a family member or friend at a regular basis through barbed wire. The remaining ones are fortunate and capable of sharing moments of crisis as well as celebrations with members of the community, despite the label of "convict" and the weight of the chains.

With over 2 million men and women in prison and many more millions under parole/probation supervision, the assumption that "everybody knows somebody" within the clutches of the criminal justice system is accurate. Just knowing about this dilemma is not enough to change its course. Action may be necessary. It's time to consider establishing contact via phone calls, correspondence, or direct visits in order to extend a hand of friendship or forgiveness — a gesture of love — to the offender. Such an act initiates change in the life of one and creates momentum during the journey of another. Spiritual growth occurs when one has not just faith but a willingness to act on it.

Published in What's Up in Feb. 2005