It's Personal

I understand the importance of honesty. Intelligent, self-respecting people speak and live the truth. Those negative comments I made about taking things seriously haunted me last night, when I realized they were not consistent with the way I live.

Everything is personal with me. Give me a universal problem and I will make it my job to reduce every aspect of the issue to a level I can bring home, dissect, turn into a friend, and tackle with my own values. Maybe an ego problem allows me to consider the world mine, and every problem in it my responsibility. Maybe I'm just nosey, or a masochist. For whatever reason, I can't resist making it personal.

Wanting to keep a distance, I left the Bush administration on a professional level. When the boss brings in a lazy niece instead of the most qualified applicant to fill an open position, I expect that niece to come in late, slack off when the pressure is on, and excuse her way out of every mess she makes. I'm also pretty sure she will rely on her uncle's power to protect her position. As the person left to pick up her slack, I take having her dumped on me very personally. Applying the same standards and principles, I am personally offended by the Bush Administration's abuse of this country and the world.

I brought my personal Saddam Hussein straight into the neighborhood and planted him in the imaginary house across the street. My impression of him wasn't great, considering the rumors of abuse and the way he dressed better than his wife and children. His wife often wore turtlenecks during the summer, a little too much foundation around her eyes, and sometimes I didn't see her for days.

My suspicion eased a bit when we had the neighborhood-blockwatch meeting. The police officers in attendance not only supported him, they gave him weapons to use in case of an emergency. Certain this meant my suspicions were unfounded, I tried to see this man without prejudice.

In a confusing turn of events, the same police officers who had armed him came to the neighborhood seeking assistance. They now thought this man was dangerous, not only to his family, but to all of us. They needed our support to disarm him. None of us had actually seen him use the weapons or abuse his family, and we all believed he was a dangerous man, but we divided on how to deal with the situation.

My imaginary Saddam denied he still owned the weapons. I thought the police should catch him alone, search him, and if take back the weapons if he was lying. The other side of the divide decided to blow up his house, killing the wife and children in the process. Since I was part of the committee, I took their decision to kill innocent people very personally.

Years ago, a child accused one of my friends of sexual misconduct. The media swooped in and featured the story in the headlines. The child eventually confessed to making up the story in vengeance, the court exonerated my friend, but the medial didn't give this portion of the story the same coverage.

Recently, a local television station aired a sensationalized segment on perceived dangers of registered sex offenders living near school bus stops and publicized the web link for registered sex offenders. Another friend called to tell me my friend's name appeared on that list. It's a common name, and the registered offender is not my respectable friend who has still done nothing wrong, but still endures doubt years later.

The media in my community failed on two counts. First, by showing only the negative side of a story and leaving a man's reputation hanging, and second by promoting fear and knee-jerk reactions to a non-existent problem. I am personally offended when anyone purposely feeds me false information.

Now, I have Moussaoui to consider. People are coming at me from every direction with different stories about this man. He's insane, he's a killer, and he belongs to that terrible group, so he must be guilty of everything?

I don't want him in my workspace or my neighborhood, so I'm bringing him to my television, where I watched the O. J. Simpson trial. I once brought O.J. home, considered how quickly people were ready to assume he was guilty because he had abused Nicole in the past, and I applied that public willingness to a personal situation. Since one man had abused me in the past, I was vulnerable to anyone else who wanted to harm me. The public would automatically convict the other guy. Scary.

I know I am not responsible for deciding if Moussaoui is guilty or should die; they didn't even consider me for jury duty. However, I can't help making my thoughts on the topic extremely personal.