by Cat Givens
Member since:
November 16, 2005

God LIes......... a suitcase dreams two word challenge

March 31, 2006 09:18 AM EST
views: 4 | rating: 9.7/10 (7 votes) | comments: 13
Dreams crashed
I stand on my suitcase to dream taller
Hopes dashed
I'd crawl inside if I were just a bit smaller

Memories faded
I open up my suitcase and moth flies out
Outlook jaded
Really I don't need this perhaps I'll throw it out

New lining
Patchwork silk and cotton ease my cares a bit
Hinges shining
I've polished up the brass works with my well determined spit

Time flies
Photographs of promise I choose to stuff inside
God lies
Nothing here but suitcase dreams.....my faith has finally died
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Comments: 13

jessie voigts Mar 31, 2006, 9:32am EST
wow, cathy - so powerful. i think i'll go back and read it again.
Barbara Brink Mar 31, 2006, 9:34am EST
Is it just my clairvoyant insightfulness or are you having a downer day? Well, packup your troubles in that old suitcase and donate them to the Good Will.
Cat Givens Mar 31, 2006, 9:51am EST
Grins, Barbara! I'm just working off the feelings of a very tough night...... see One Mother's Reality. The sun is shining and I will be just fine soon!
I'd never pack off these cares to goodwill, though. I'll just send them up in smoke, OK?
Thanks, Jessie, for your compliment.
0000-sadiransonp-0000 Mar 31, 2006, 9:51am EST
brave... and powerful.... i too need to re-read this but i think this is really great usage of language... ~~ sadi..
mona d. Mar 31, 2006, 11:55am EST
this is simply wonderful. and i hope writing it helped work off some of those feelings...or at least put them in theie rightful place!
Beryl Singleton Bissell Mar 31, 2006, 1:41pm EST
Aren't metaphors wonderful Cathy. Look at what you've done with them here.
Edward Nudelman Mar 31, 2006, 1:50pm EST
Your faith will never die, Cathy! Great job with the 2-word.
Chris Burnett Mar 31, 2006, 7:16pm EST
I had to go back and read it a second and third time. I liked it because it seemed like you always knew how to fix something which of course would happen with faith dying also. Chris Burnett
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Apr 1, 2006, 4:29am EST
So creative! Great job.
Kathryn E. Apr 1, 2006, 4:54am EST
I like the progression in the poem right down to the denouement. Very nice job.
Serina Matteson Apr 1, 2006, 12:37pm EST
Wow!! Amazing! Please keep the faith.
Nathan Schauer Apr 2, 2006, 3:47pm EDT
I once had a student write about what was not in her suitcase of letters. Their were not letters from her Dad. Just a single postcard. This poem strikes me in the same way.

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